When I asked people what it took for them to trust someone, here are the TOP 10 answers.
1. I trust someone who does what they say they are going to do when they say they're going to do it - someone who keeps their word.
2. I trust people who "can" do what they say they'll do or let me know they can't do it.
3. I trust someone who's integrity is impeccable.
4. I trust someone until they cheat me or lie to me - and then I never trust them again.
5. It takes me a long time to trust anyone.
6. Basically I don't think people are trustworthy - so I don't trust anyone really.
7. People have to prove to me that they can be trusted before I trust them. This begs the question, what do they have to do to prove it?
8. I trust someone who can be counted on to produce results. All I care about is results.
9. I trust someone who can be counted on to stand for me no matter what.
10. I trust someone who will never say bad things about me - no matter what.
We really don't know what others need to be able to trust us unless we ask them.
Stop and think about what it takes for you to trust someone - and ask yourself if you have let the people in your life "know" about it. If not, tell them. They may have a very different perspective about what is and isn't trustworthy.
Ask them what has to happen for them to trust you. You may be surprised by their answers.
When trust breaks down in relationships it's just a matter of time before the relationship is over. And even though it doesn't make the headlines (as it does in Hollywood, sports and politics) - the results are just as devastating.
When trust breaks down in organizations you can pretty much count on lack of honest communication, ineffective teamwork, poor morale, and a significant reduction in the productivity and performance - reduction in results. And, forget having breakdthough or extraordinary success.
We have no control over others, but we sure do have power when it comes to ourselves. And given the cost of lack of trust, the price we pay for being untrustworthy (or being thought of as untrustworty), it is imperative that we learn all we can about not only being trustworthy but about what it takes to trust others.
"A man who doesn't trust himself can never really trust anyone else." - Cardinal de Retz
"Self-trust is the first secret of success....the essence of heroism."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson