Alexandra & Associates
Power Bytes
 
March 2010
 
 
HOW IMPORTANT IS TRUST?
 
 
  
Don Miguel Ruiz is committed to personal freedom, and is the world renowed author of The Four Agreements.  According to him the first agreement is "be impeccable with your word". 
 
"Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity.  Say only what you mean.  Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.  Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love."
 
He wrote that while yo need a very strong will in order to adopt this agreement, if you do your life will transform.
  
Patrick Lencioni, author of the Five Dysfunctions of a Team,  writes that the underlying source of dysfunction in a team is "Absence of Trust". 
 
 
Think about your personal and business relationships - and if you have the courage to tell the truth ~ 
 
how many of the people that you are surrounded by do you trust absolutely? 
 
The kind of trust I'm talking about is "no kidding" trust. 
 
In fact you: 

  • Know the person has your back.
  • Know the person will never say or do anything to harm you.
  • Know the person won't ever say anything negative about you to others.
  • Know you can count on them if the going gets rough.
  • Trust that they champion you - promote you - speak highly of you no matter what
 
And you: 

  • Trust that they'll do what they said they'd do
  • Trust that they will get it done skillfully
  • Trust that they will get it done "on time"
  • Trust that they will do it with integrity and not at the cost of another
 
And how many people who you know would say they absolutely trust you?
 
I did a Team Building last month and it became apparent that what was missing was trust.  The results of "trust missing" was devastating.  People were trashing others behind their backs.  Gossiping was rampant, undermining apparent, and the possibility of phenomenal results - missing.  Each member of that team was wonderful, but without trust what became necessary was survival - and when people are in survival mode you can count on "the survival of the fittest", win/lose mode from even the best people. 
 
Trust is necessary to have a truly functioning and cohesive team.  Without trust, teamwork is virtually impossible. 
 
Trust is having confidence that your peers intentions are good and there is no reason to be careful or protective around any one or all of them. To trust others is actually to allow yourself to be vulnerable,
eliminate concern for self-protection, knowing you can count on them to do what has to be done.
 
Without trust you can expect team members to:

  • Hide their weaknesses and mistakes from each other
  • Avoid asking for help or giving others constructive feedback
  • Jump to conclusions about the actions and attitudes of others - assume bad intentions
  • Fail to tap into the expertise of others on the team
  • Hold grudges
 
With trust members of the team can:
 

  • Admit weaknesses and mistakes
  • Ask for help
  • Give one another the benefit of the doubt
  • Offer feedback and assistance without fear
  • Appreciate and tap into each other's skills and experiences
  • Focus time and energy on business instead of politics
  • Offer (and accept) apologies easily
  • Look forward to meetings and other opportunities to work as a group 
 
Trust has been found to be much more than a nice social virtue, a soft skill. Trust has been found to affect speed and cost. 
 
When trust goes down, speed also goes down and costs will go up. 
 
When trust goes up, speed will also go up and costs will go down.
 
There is much evidence  that trust is essential to be truly successful in business.
  
 
 
 
 
 AND WHAT OF PERSONAL TRUST?
 
 
The importance of trust is not restricted to the workplace.
 
I remember clearly being a young married (many moons ago), spending hours on the phone trashing my husband. That was just what the "girls" did those many years ago.  We spent a lot of time commiserating with our friends about the suffering we did because of our husbands, what they did and didn't do, and gathering agreement for how awful it was.  That was the marriage version of gossip. If you are, or have ever been married, you may know what I'm talking about.
 
How impeccable is that behavior?  How trustworthy?  Do I have to tell you that the marriage ended in divorce?
 
What would be possible if you "knew" that your chosen partner would stand for you no matter what, would always speak the truth no matter how much courage it took, and would consistently make and keep their promises?  What I'm asking is what would your relationship be like if, at the base, at it's core, it had absolute integrity? 
 
 I can't imagine a relationship being joyful with lack of integrity.  I've had the experience and it really didn't work for me - at least it didn't work well. 
 
I know that people adapt and adjust to the relationship they're in even if it isn't great, for different reasons.  Perhaps they have adapted to things the way they are, and are willing to tolerate and pay whatever price is necessary to maintain the status quo, or perhaps they don't think there is anything they can do about it.   
 
If you're one of those who are tolerating, I can tell you that there is something you can do to change things.  
 
Trust can be created or destroyed.  While it may not be easy, in most cases, lost trust can be restored.  You can learn to trust - and while trusting people may seem risky, not trusting them can be even more risky.  
 
Next month's Power Byte will reveal what you can do to trust yourself - the very first step to creating trust with others.
 
 
 I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS..........
 
  
 
 
"Few things can help an individual more than to place responsibility on him, and to let him know that you trust him".                            -                                                                  -Booker T. Washington
 

 
 
 
~I know that you want to be trusted.
 
~I ask you to spend some time looking at who you trust?  Why you trust them?
 
~Who trusts you?  Why do you think they trust you?
 
~And if trust is missing in your life be courageous enough to do something about it.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
"The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago.  The second best time is today."                  -                                                                   - Chinese Proverb
                            
 
 
 
 
 
If you would like to talk about trust (or lack of it)  in your life, I'd love to talk to you.  
 
 
 Alexandra
561-742-2779 
or send me an e-mail
 
 

 

 
 

Knowing is  not enough, we must apply.

 Willing is not enough;  we must do.........
                                                                                                           - Johann Wolfgang Van Goethe
 
 
You're being asked to do something.  It's simple. 
 
Call 561-742-2779 and ask for Alex.
 
Or e-mail:  alex@committedtoyou.org
 
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Alexandra Marcovitch
Alexandra & Associates
561-742-2779
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