Google
"speak and be heard" and you'll find 96,700,000 entries,which leads me to believe that many people are of the opinion that if you're going to say anything (open you mouth and push sound out) - it may be important that your speaking is heard. I share that opinion. If you do too, read on.
You may want to:
- Share something wonderful - because you're excited
- Share something horrible - because you're in a major upset
- Ask someone to do something for you
- Ask someone to do something with you
- Transfer some important information
- Get information from someone who has answers
- See how someone's doing
- Just chat
Whatever your reason for wanting to talk to someone - remember to make sure that it is a good time for them to talk.
Even with your buddies, the ones you know and talk to all the time, it's not a bad idea to be aware of your own talking style and their style's preferences. I "know" you wouldn't like it if you knew that when your number came up on your friend's phone they let the call go to voice-mail because even though they really liked you, they couldn't bear to get into a conversation with you. And believe me it happens. I absolutely ignore any call coming in that is from a toll-free number. You don't want to be on anyone's "screen this call" list.
If you think about the people who call you - is there someone that you avoid speaking to because of their talking style? Is there someone you avoid talking to because they talk too much - or they're way to abrupt - or whatever......
There are four major behavioral styles and each of these styles communicates differently and prefers to be spoken to differently. This information is particularly useful when it comes to business communication - but it will make a huge difference in your personal relationships as well. If you and your husband/wife communicate differently and aren't aware of these differences - watch out!
YOU NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS
18% of the population are bold, aggressive, impatient, dominant drivers. They are bottom-line communicators, direct and to the point. They speak their mind bluntly - no flowery words for them. If you want to speak to someone who is a driving result producer, it's a good idea to bear in mind that they have a very short attention span. Don't ramble on. Don't waste their time. Don't tell stories. Just the bottom line. Be brief, be bold and be gone is a good motto if you want to be heard by this 18% of the population. Don't take their curt communication personally folks. It's just their style. A good example of this style of communicator is Donald Trump - "YOU'RE FIRED!"
However, if you are part of this 18% of the population and you have to be talking to the 28% who are friendly and talkative, perhaps you should consider softening your style and giving them more than 30 seconds to talk so they are comfortable and want to do business with you. If you're talking to the 40% who will do anything to avoid confrontation, your style will be most intimidating. You'll likely never know what they really think until they explode.
YOU MUST KNOW MORE ABOUT THEM
28% of the population are expressive, enthusiastic, and charming. These people are sociable, confident, gregarious, emotional and very outgoing. They want to have fun, be liked - and they love to talk. You will recognize them because they are so friendly and playful. They will want to be your friend.
Can you just imagine this chatty person talking to the bottom-line communicator? It's an upset waiting to happen. If this is your style and you want to connect with the 18% who are bottom-line communicators, you'd best put a sock in it. Save your stories for another person and another time. And think of this. If you're talking to another story teller - all they're waiting for is their turn at the mike - so they may not be listening to your story either. An example of this style is Robin Williams, verbally articulate, very entertaining - and former President Clinton who clearly just wanted to have fun!!!
If this is your style, your big challenge is always going to be to watch your audience and recognize when their eyes are clouding over. Good chance you are talking too much and you want to be heard don't you? Last month I talked about a buddy of mine who loved to talk so much, he didn't really care if I was listening or not. I just don't recommend you follow his example.
YOU WON'T REACH YOUR POTENTIAL UNLESS YOU KNOW ABOUT THEM.
40% of the population are laid back, steady, more passive and sincere. This is the only style that's designed to listen, and while they talk when they feel comfortable with others, they don't need to speak, and they will do anything to avoid confrontation. This 40% of the population are wise, logical and have a great deal to contribute, but they need to trust you before they'll open up. Take the time to show your interest. Don't interrupt, be abrupt or rapid. You would do well to present your case logically, softly and non-threateningly. If you remember the Odd Couple, Oscar Madison was a great example of this style of communication.
HOW CAN YOU SUCCEED IF YOU DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND 40% OF THE POPULATION?
A mere 14% of the population are the analytical, methodical, diplomatic and precise people. They are perfectionists who are attentive to detail. Give them the facts. They are direct, and to the point and objective. What this style wants in a conversation are the facts and you'd best have the evidence to prove your facts. So prepare your case in advance. To be very blunt about this - you can't seduce them with your charm. Felix Unger of the Odd Couple was an exaggerated version of this style.
Each style has a unique and very valuable contribution to make. It's important that you be heard - which means it's important that you adjust your speaking to serve the needs of your audience.
KNOW YOURSELF - CONTROL YOURSELF
KNOW OTHERS - GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT SO THEY ARE THRILLED TO BE AROUND YOU