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HOW IMPORTANT IS KEEPING YOUR WORD?
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Your word is the most powerful tool that you possess. It is behind every agreement you make. Actually what I'm REALLY talking about here is integrity. There are two levels of integrity. The first is being true to your word; the second is being true to yourself, behaving in a way that is true to your values and consistent with who you say you are. So, how are you doing?
A promise is a commitment to future action in a specified time frame. Personal power and success are determined by your ability to make and fulfill promises. Some promises are easy to keep - "I'll call you tomorrow". Some more difficult - "I'll have this report completed by Friday". Once uttered, both of them represent your word given. They should not be taken lightly.
How many times do you talk to people who say they will do something that doesn't get done? Or perhaps they do it but not when they said they would? And how often do you say you'll call someone tomorrow and never call?
Have you ever gone on a job interview and been told that you would be called next week. For you the call is something that you anxiously await. Each time the phone rings you pray that it's the hiring manager calling to tell you the job is yours. After a few days you just wish the hiring manager would call to tell you they hired someone else, just so you'll be released from the anguish of waiting for the phone to ring. You just want to get on with your life. At that point you begin to fret. Should you call them? Should you call when they're not there and leave a message? Or would it be better to call and hang up if they're not there? You may even tell yourself that you don't care - and what will be will be. If you tell the truth, everything would be so much easier if people would just do what they said they were going to do when they said they were going to do it. And knowing people as I do, if they knew they were causing any anxiety to others, they would want to do something about it.
As you know I now live in South East Florida. When I lived in Rochester NY and worked with corporations on the development of leadership, one of the most important parts of any of the trainings we did was to make sure that people were aware of how essential it was to follow-up, to keep your word, to do what you said you would do. When I got to this neck of the woods and I encountered the first experience of a promise that wasn't kept, I was told that "this is just how it is around here!" But we're all people with the same human needs. How could this be geographical behavior?
This month I was amazed by the number of times I have been told that something would be done by a certain date, or that I would be called on a given day, only to experience the disappointment and upset that comes when something I expected to happen, just doesn't. Okay, so I shouldn't have any expectations. Without expectations and attachment there is no disappointment. But, to be honest, I haven't attained mastery yet. And last week absolutely won the prize - MOST UNFULFILLED PROMISES OF THE YEAR!
To be fair, I don't think that any of those people thought that what they said they would do was a promise - or in fact that they had given their word. But why not? They spoke it so it was their word; and those people are good people. I'm sure that they meant well and certainly didn't deliberately set out to make commitments they wouldn't keep. Perhaps it's that most of us don't stop to think of the impact of what we say on others. We don't think about the damage that saying we'll do something that doesn't get done has on others, on our reputation and ultimately, our future.
So, it's time for me to say something about the giving and keeping of your word. I know who you are and that you're committed to being the best you can be. Giving and keeping you word is essential when you want to be successful. |
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HOW ARE YOU DOING?
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Let's face it, many are overwhelmed and over-committed these days. Therefore, it is understandable - some people don't follow through. However, that doesn't excuse the fact that when you say you'll do something, you absolutely need to follow through.
Think about the last time you were let down - the last time someone didn't do what they said they'd do. No, I'm serious, just stop for a moment and think of the last time someone said they'd call you on a certain day, or get something done by a certain day - and that didn't happen. Have you got the situation and the person in mind?
Were you disappointed? Upset? Concerned? Or even worse, were you not surprised at all because by now you really don't expect people to keep their word? How much do you trust that person now? What are the chances you will call on them when you absolutely need something done? How likely are you to recommend this person to others? And how did that event affect your future with the person?
NOW, HERE'S AN IMPORTANT QUESTION. HAVE YOU DONE THAT YOURSELF? DO YOU GIVE YOUR WORD LIGHTLY? CAN PEOPLE TRUST YOU?
At the end of a Friday conversation with a charming business contact, I was promised that I would be contacted on Monday. I knew that he had no assistant at the moment - that the gal who had reminded him of appointments wasn't there to support him, so I asked if he would remember to call. He laughed, mentioned that he had no one to blame but himself for not keeping his appointments now, so he had marked it on his calendar. He'd speak to me on Monday without fail. Well Monday came and went with no call. I called on Tuesday and left a message. I still have not received a response.
I can make lots of excuses for this person - but the bottom line I am left with a point of view. This is someone who can't be counted on to keep their word. That would make it difficult for me to do business with him. I "know" that you don't want anyone left with that point of view about you.
If you are the kind of person who wants to deliver - if you're someone who really "intends" to do all that you say you'll do, but often find yourself over-promising, it's time for you to "stop" doing that.
When you say you'll do something, you need to follow through. Be responsible for what you agree to do.
It's okay to say no.
It's fine to say, "I'd love to do that but I really won't have time to get to it until next week."
It's acceptable to announce that you may not be able to get back to them for a few days.
And, it's also absolutely fine to "tell the truth" if you have no intention of calling.
You do want people to trust you don't you?
You likely want to build relationships and you want to be a winner. You surely don't want to be known as someone who doesn't keep their word. You want people to trust that you will do what you say. You want to be thought of as someone who can be counted on to mean what you say and say what you mean. Your reputation is all that you have so don't blow it.
Losers make promises they often break. Winners make commitments they always keep. ~Denis Waitley |
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ONE MUST HAVE A GOOD MEMORY TO BE ABLE TO KEEP THE
PROMISES THAT ONE MAKES - FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE
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OR ONE CAN FIND WAYS TO HELP THEM
KEEP THEIR WORD
-ALEX MARCOVITCH
- Choose a great system to support you in tracking what you said you'd do and when you said you'd do it. I can help you with this.
- Have a "to do" list for each day which includes all the calls you promised to make and check off the items as you complete them.
- Do not accept any request that you "know" you won't be able to fulfill.
- Don't agree to call someone if you "know" you won't be calling.
- Don't say I'll call you just to get someone off the phone.
- Don't agree to do something just to avoid confrontation. 40% of the population will do anything to avoid the discomfort of saying "no". If you happen to be one of those people you "know" there will be a price to pay later.
- If you agreed to do something and have discovered that you won't be able to get it done as promised, call to inform the persons involved as soon as possible and ask if you can renegotiate the time for completion.
Even with the best intentions there are times when you will break a promise, or realize that you've not kept your word. Don't beat yourself up. And surely don't use feelings of guilt to validate the fact that you are indeed a decent person who means well. After all, who but a decent person would feel guilty?
As quickly as you realize that you've broken a promise, clean it up.
- Contact the person you made the promise to and acknowledge that you didn't do what you said you'd do.
- Ask if there is anything you can do to make amends.
- Make a new promise.
If you're the one who had a promise made to you that wasn't fulfilled, follow-up. Don't just grin and bear it. It will only stay with you as a stored grievance that will affect any future dealings you have with that person. You must deal with it quickly and effectively. That means make it safe for the other person to talk to you. I promise if you attack them they will do one of two things. They will withdraw or attack back depending on their natural style. Neither will help you to get what you really want. Don't make up a story about them. Just assume good intentions and check it out.
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I Leave You With This...
For those of you who have really good intentions, but are having difficulty managing your time and being responsible for what you say you're going to do, perhaps you are missing a good time management system - or if systems aren't the answer for you, I recommend partnering with a coach. Coaching is not just for athletes and musicians. Coaching would be useful for you if:
You are doing a poor job of planning.
You don't know how to say no.
You feel as though all you do it put out fires.
You are over-worked, over-whelmed and under-satisfied.
You are lacking the confidence and the ability to do anything about it.
Feel free to call me to talk about your experience. It won't take long to discover if coaching would work for you.
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BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE REPUTATION YOU ARE CREATING.
TREAT EVERYONE WITH RESPECT AND DIGNITY.
TREAT EACH PERSON THE WAY YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED YOURSELF. HAVE ALL YOUR ACTIONS BE CONSISTENT WITH WHO YOU ARE.
AND REMEMBER :
YOU REALLY DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE. DON'T TAKE IT LIGHTLY. | |
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Alexandra Marcovitch
Alexandra & Associates
561-742-2779
http://confidencecoachalex.blogspot.com/
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Check out our blog. You will find all previous Power Bytes archived there. They will soon be available on an archive section of our web-site |
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