Alexandra & Associates
Power Byte
 June 2009

It amazes me that we, who are divine - bright lights with unique and special gifts each one of us, are having so much trouble finding joy and peace.


It's also surprising that with all the offers that come across our desks each day, ones that we have taken advantage of or could take advantage of, we haven't sorted ourselves out.  You  know what I'm talking about.

People call or e-mail telling me of a program they heard about that they are thinking of taking.  Did I do it?  Did I hear about it?  Have I taken it? 


There are books and  programs available that promise you mastery with money back guarantees.  The topics range from:


  • How to Be Who You Were Meant to Be
  • How to Discover Your Purpose
  • How to Be Successful
  • How to Make Money
  • How to Make Money in this Troubled Economy
  • How to Think Positively even if you feel Negatively
  • How to Market Yourself
  • How to Write the Book you Have Been Dying to Write
  • How to Discover the Barriers that are Getting in Your Way
  • How to Break Through any Barriers  in Your Way


I could go on and on - and many of these books, offers, programs include wonderful things that can alter your experience of living.  So, given all that's available, and given how we say we want to be successful, how come so many of us still aren't getting what we want?  How come so many are still seeking something so that their life will work out as they hoped it would?

Don't get me wrong.  Personally, I am committed to lifelong learning.  I just question if the frenzy to "sort life out" is being driven more by somethng's wrong, than by the desire to learn.

Tell the truth.  Is there something (or many somethings) that are not exactly as you hoped they would be?  Do those things trouble you - and make you feel as though you are somehow failing to succeed?  Do you suffer from frustration, anxiety, feelings of despair, hopelessness, or any other emotion that comes with disatisfaction? And would you also say that you "really really really" want to be joyful and happy.  I haven't met one person who wasn't longing to be happy.  I haven't met many people who said that they were.


I don't know your story, but I do know if you're a human being, and you feel your life isn't working out, you have a story.  We all have our stories, explanations, and justifications.  For just a moment think about the thoughts that you had about what you've read so far.  If you had thoughts, they are coming from your stories.



I have been thinking about what it could be that has human beings feeling as though something's wrong and something's missing?  I have a perspective (can't tell you I have the answers (the truth).  I have are points of view.  I'd like to offer it up for your consideration.  


1.      This is one of many lifetimes for each of us.


2.      We chose to take form in a human body so that we could learn the lessons that we were meant to learn this lifetime.


3.      We chose our parents so that we would be given fodder for that learning.  Some of you may be thinking - surely you jest.  I would never have chosen those parents.  Yes you would and you did.  They are (or were) the perfect parents for what you came here to learn.  Many actually learned more of what they didn't want to be like than what they did - however your parents did the best they could - and you learned.


4.      Each one of us is special.  There has never been and will never be another just like you.


5.      Each one of us has special gifts that we can offer to others.


6.      When we get clear about our unique gifts and offer them up - we feel satisfied, fulfilled. What are your unique gifts?  If you can't think of any, ask someone who knows you.


7.      Because of the culture we grew up in we have inherited a point of view about success.


8.      Rest assured what we've accepted as success is merely a cultural point of view.


9.      Do you really need to manifest our cultures ideas of success?  What would success be for you? 


10.  We do have a soulprint - a print of the gifts we bring and what we have to offer - in fact what we promised we would offer before we were born.


11.  We unfortunately forgot that promise at the moment of birth.


12.  We spend much of our lives learning lessons so that we can discover things about ourselves, about people, about life. And all the learning brings us to be able to be more of what we came to be. 


13.  In fact we can't lose.  We can't be other than ourselves and that's what we're supposed to be.  At every moment in your life you were being the perfect you. 


14.  Things have happened that you're sure you wouldn't have chosen.  They were all part of the learning.


15.  In fact everything that happened was supposed to happen - all part of the learning.


16.  Take a few minutes to think about all that has occurred and what you now know about yourself, about others and about life in general.  You have been learning your lessons.

If G-d came down and told you that you were being exactly who you needed to be, and doing exactly what you came to do - you would be happy, wouldn't you?  Well you are being the perfect you.   
Look around you and rather than focusing on what's missing, notice what you have to be grateful for.  Be grateful about those things.   Express your gratitude first thing in the morning and last thing before sleep.


If you are delighted with who you are, what you do and all that you have - that's great.  Don't change anything.  Keep shining your light, making your difference and never stop learning and growing.


If you truly - and I do mean "truly" desire some changes in the future, be clear it's not because you have to change. You are already wonderful.  Your dissatisfaction may be the product of inherited cultural points of view.  However, if you have an authentic desire to change some things in your life, and you can make them, what's stopping you?

There's is nothing wrong with wanting more money.  The Jewish religion encourages people to be financially successful.  The rabbis say the more we have,  the more we have to give away.  Giving is a blessing. 


If your changes require taking some programs, or courses, sign up now and take them.  Bob & I have been saying we wanted to do Ballroom dancing for 5 years.  The desire wasn't going away.  So two weeks ago we signed up and we've been taking lessons.  I love to dance.  Bob has been saying he has no rhythm.  Nonsense.  It was just a point of view.  He's doing beautifully.  Is there something you wanted to learn but have allowed your point of view to get in your way?  You will argue it's not your point of view - it's the truth.  Perhaps not!!


I have discovered that most often all that needs to be changed is your point of view.  You have some points of view that are being made real.  Those points of view aren't the truth about you but you believe them to be the truth and your actions correlate to them.  For sure your results are very consistent with those points of view.  Another way to say that is - if you want some changes, change your stories.  The story worth paying attention to - and the one that appears to be closest to the truth - is that you're amazing.  That you are the perfect you.  That there is no other, never has been, never will be.  You came here to be you.  Don't let your negative points of view get in the way regardless of how real you think they are.


Here's what I mean.  If you happened to be criticized for not helping with the dishes, called lazy for not wanting to go out and play, called selfish because you didn't want to share your doll - whatever you heard that was not acknowledging and validating - got stored in your system as some version of you're not good enough.  Some parents just didn't validate.  They only knew how to point to what was wrong.  As a young child you were not able to recognize that it didn't have anything to do with you -but rather it had something to do with them, their style, their expectations, and their limited knowledge of how to be an effective parent.


If a gym teacher called you a klutz - unless you were one of the 18% of the population that says, "I'll show you a thing or two", that would be it for you and physical activities

Your points of view are not all disempowering. Some of them are very positive.  You may believe you're a quick learner, you're generous, you're helpful, you're creative, etc.  Those stories are wonderful.  Keep those. They are the source of joy.


So, you're still not good enough.  What a great story.  It's not the truth about you - but you operate as though it were the truth.  And given your history you would probably say what keeps you from succeeding is your fear of failure.
Well, I don't think it's failure that you fear.  You know how to fail.  As a child you tried to walk and fell.  You failed.  Good chance you have experienced lots of things you call failures in the past. You are not afraid to fail.  You are good at that.  Perhaps it's fear of success that's getting in your way. 
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, 'who am I to be so brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?'
Actually, who are we not to be?
You are a child of God.
...Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
 We are born to make manifest the glory that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it's  in everyone.
 And as we let our own light shine,
 we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others."
-Marianne Williamson
widely incorrectly credited to Nelson Mandela's 1994 Inaugural Speech

What if, given your point of view about yourself, you have a limit to how much success is okay?  What if that point of view is actually being expressed in your life right now?

If you look at your life and all that it's comprised of, I promise what you will find is the manifestation of your points of view.  Your thoughts have become things.
What if, all that is needed if you truly want things to be different, is to change the unexamined points of view that are lbeing made real and limiting what's possible?
Please be clear, I don't think you should change anything.  Ideally, it would be fabulous if you could choose what you have, be grateful for everything that has been bestowed upon you, and feel the joy and peace that comes when things are all you hoped they would be.
If, however, you really do believe that something is getting in your way of you having the life you know you want to live, then it may be time to examine the points of view that are limiting you.
Sometimes it's difficult to get to the unexamined points of view on your own.  If you truly are ready to make some changes, hire a coach who 'knows" what's possible.  If you are thinking about it, call a few coaches and find the one that's right for you.
Call me
Let's talk
If I'm the right coach - you will know it.
In fact you are the one that knows what you need better than anyone else.


.........and in closing

My niece sent me a you-tube about validation.  It's a bit long - but worth watching.  Just know that I am clear that you are worthy - you're amazing - and we are lucky to have you in our midst.NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS.  SOMETIMES WEDIVINE BEINGS HAVING A HU


Alexandra Marcovitch
Alexandra & Associates
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