Alexandra & Associates
Power Bytes
February 2009
This month, as a result of a one hour conversation with one of my clients, transformation occurred.  Her experience of her life before we began the call and her experience after the call were totally different - and no circumstances had changed.  I began to think about transformation and about what it would take to provide you all with access to the same experience in your lives. 
I googled "transformation" - and if you do that you'll find just what I found - invitations to:
  • Transform your life in 21 days
  • 5 easy ways to transform your life
  • 13 ways to transform your life
  • Transform your life - find fitness
  • 101 ways to transform your life
  • Transform your relationship
  • Transform your marriage
  • Transform your life and your relationship, etc. etc. etc.

With all the offers to transform, there must be a market for transformation.
Could that be because life hasn't turned out as we hoped it would?
Or because there are areas in our lives that we would like to be different?
Or perhaps  we "know" there is more possible and we want to generate that?
Is it because we have become a culture with great big expectations and while we have more than we'll ever need, we hunger for still more because we're just plain greedy?
Or, are we suffering and have an authentic need for a transformation to occur in our lives?
We surely haven't become masterful at accepting and including what's so and being totally satisfied with things the way they are. For some of us appreciation and acceptance is truly what is being called for.  If you are one of those people I ask that you appreciate and be thankful for what you have.  In fact until you accept and include things the way they are, there is no possibility of transformation.  I can promise that what you resist persists.
The newly elected President is committed to transforming the government.  That transformation will not be a spontaneous instant change - magically - presto. Perhaps this transformation will be more like the caterpillar that through time and care evolves and becomes the beautiful butterfly it was meant to be. On the other hand, I have seen an instant transformation in the attitude, the point of view, and the hopes of many of the citizens of not only USA but of the world.  You could see that transformation on the faces and in the tears of the throngs of people attending the inauguration on January 20th 2009.  Despair seemed to be replaced by Hope and Joy.  The actions that followed were consistent with that transformation.
What is transformation?  The concise Oxford Dictionary says that to transform means to: make a thorough or dramatic change in the form, outward appearance, character, etc.; undergo a change.  Transformation is the act or an instance of transforming; a change of form or metamorphosis (as in caterpillars to butterflies) the induced or spontaneous change of one element into another.
Here's an example:  For many Friday the 13th is a bad luck day.  Some may even dread the day, avoid major transactions on that day and what's obvious is their point of view about Friday the 13th determines what's possible for them.  Many have stories that validate this point of view. 
Some time ago I learned that from a Kabbalistic point of view Friday the 13th is a good luck day. It's connected to the concepts of love, unity, care and rising above limitations. Since my point of view about this day has "transformed", the actions I take are correlated to the luck that is possible, and great things happen for me on this day.
If you aren't experiencing the joy, the fulfillment and the results that you hoped for, if you find yourself dissatisfied, despairing, frustrated, irritated, angry, whining, bitching, moaning, etc. etc. etc. - perhaps a transformation is called for.




Transformation comes from a change of heart, a change of your view of things.  If you were the bowl that holds all the cherries in your life, transformation does not mean changing all the cherries, perhaps not any of the cherries.  But it does mean transforming you, the bowl.   While it can require a lot of work, and take a long time - perhaps the amount of work and the time it takes is not because it "has" to be hard and time consuming.  Perhaps transformation comes when the time is right.  And, I believe the time is right when you say -" It's time.  It's time for me to alter my experience of living.  It's time for me to change my conversation about what's going on.  It's time for a change of heart."
That's not to say that the person who doesn't transform quickly is "wrong" or "bad".  It is perfect for them to be however they are being.  Sometimes it isn't apparent why it's perfect as it sure doesn't feel so perfect.
Amazing how many think that life happens and we report on what's happening.  Life "is" a particular way and we are the observers of "what's so".  I believe the experience of life is correlated to the person who is experiencing it - the "being" that's doing the observing.
If your experience of life is joyful and you "feel good" inside, likely things will "look good" to you.  If on the other hand you are experiencing dissatisfaction, irritation, frustration, anger etc., your experience will be correlated to that perspective.  If these are the two options, give me the rose colored glasses. 
Have you ever driven with someone who has a point of view about the ineffective (crappy, awful, lousy) drivers on the road?  It seems as though they inevitably are plagued by them from the moment they leave home until the moment they arrive at their destination.  Their experience of driving is painful as is the experience of their passengers.  On the other hand, someone who is in a "love thy neighbor" mode, and sees the world and life full of possibilities, will likely not encounter those "irritating" drivers, or that same inept driving doesn't seem to bother them at all.  Given a choice, give me "love thy neighbor".
I did the EST training in 1978.  It was a two consecutive weekend training that transformed my life.  The creator of that training was Werner Erhard.  While there has been much controversy surrounding both the training "and" the man, I began the two weekends a frightened, anxiety-filled woman, who had no idea about what it meant to be a human being, and, after two days of conversations, I transformed my experience of living in a moment.  In that moment I saw the human being that I was, the enormous possibility of the future.  I saw myself as the creator of my life, not the victim of circumstances.  So, the woman that attended the second of those two weekends, was a different woman, and yet none of the circumstances in my life had changed.

Each of us has our own way of seeing things.  We see things based on the kind of observers we are.  We have our own unique nature and each has been nurtured in a particular way.  Your view of things is determined by all that was brought with you at birth along with all you have experienced since birth.  It is fair to say that we don't walk into any situation without any preconceived notions of life and the way that it is.  We bring along with us our own unique perceptions, our point of view.  We actually end up seeing things and experiencing them through this view.  It's almost as though you bring your own set of glasses (lenses) with you wherever you go.  It is valuable to begin to examine this view of things that comes along with you, since your conclusions, and your actions, are being determined by this view of things (or world view).
Some possible world views are:
Life is beautiful                                      Life is a privilege
I am right                                                I know the right way
I don't know enough yet                      I need to be careful
I have to take care of myself              I have to look good
Something is wrong                              I love people
People can't be trusted                        We grow by suffering
Life is an adventure                               Nothing ever goes right
Something is wrong with me                Something is wrong with them
Life is unpredictable and that's bad    Life is unpredictable and that's fun
People are basically good                     People are out to get me
I deserve better than this                     I don't deserve any better
The meek shall inherit the world          I must make it on my own
I am unlovable                                         Nobody loves me
Money is the root of all evil                   There are no accidents
Circle any of the ones that apply to you and add any that aren't listed
Is there anything in your view of the world that would influence your experience of living?
Is there anything in your view that would support success?
Is there anything in your view that would impede success?
Is there anything in your view that clearly will influence your future?
These points of view are not "the truth" about life.  They are merely the perspectives you've "chosen" based on past experiences or at least your interpretation of past experiences.  Tell me your view of the world and I'll predict your future.
It's not good or bad, right or wrong.  It's just the way that it is for you.  If your view of things is supportive of the life you want for yourself, if it's the source of joy, satisfaction and fulfillment, how fortunate you are.
If not, then transformation may be called for.  And, it doesn't have to take a lot of time.  
                   Change your talk and give yourself a New Future
                  Play with words and make them work for you.
Your point of view about you will determine what's possible.  Take some time to examine your points of view. Those points of view "are" your future.  If you find any that may be limiting what's possible for you, work with someone who can help you to transform your point of view.

While you may feel that a transformation is called for - you can be sure that you already are all that you ever wanted to be.  Who you are is whole, complete, and requires nothing to be perfect.  Who you have created is merely some interpretation you have about you.
This story is taken from Debbie Ford.  It illustrates the "truth" about you.
In 1957 a monastery in Thailand was being relocated and a group of monks was put in charge of moving a giant clay Buddha.  In the midst of the move, one of the monks noticed a crack in the Buddha.  Concerned about damaging the idol, the monks decided to wait a day before continuing the task.
During the night, one of the monks came to check on the giant statue.  He shined his flashlight over the entire Buddha.  When he reached the crack he saw something reflected back at him.  The monk, his curiosity aroused, got a hammer and chisel and began chipping away at the clay Buddha.
As he knocked off piece after piece of clay, the Buddha got brighter and brighter.  After hours of work, the monk looked up in amazement to see, standing before him, a huge solid gold Buddha.
Historians believe the Buddha had been covered with clay by Thai monks several hundred years earlier before an attack by the Burmese army.  They covered the Buddha to protect it.  In the attack, all the monks were killed, so it wasn't until 1957 that the great treasure was discovered.
Like the Buddha, our outer shell protects us from the world.  Our real treasure is hidden within.  We unconsciously hide our inner gold under layers of clay.  All we need to do to uncover our gold is have the courage to chip away at our outer shell, piece by piece.
For this month try to become aware of your view of the world and what you have to say about yourself, about them, and about it.  If you become aware of any that calls for changing, do that.  They are merely the clay that covers the gold.  They are merely stories you made up based on your interpretation of what has happened to you in your life.  It is time to make up better stories, ones that support the future that you are committed to.
If you are unsuccessful at doing that by yourself:
                              Let's Talk
                     Let's Talk about You
                     Let's Talk about Life
  Let's Talk about Whatever you want to talk About.
Together we can change your talk and change your life.


Alexandra Marcovitch
Alexandra & Associates
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