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Every now and then I have to get on my soap box when it comes to the topic of sex and teens. The Eden Clinic is probably the only business who tries NOT to have business... meaning we would be totally happy if teens got the message that sex outside the commitment and protection of marriage is NOT SAFE at all and stop doing it! But that's unrealistic isn't it? Our culture has decided that putting girls on birth control and teaching boys to use condoms will protect them from unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases... only it's NOT working or we wouldn't be so busy around here!
Plus, the United States has the highest rates of teen pregnancy and births in the western industrialized world. Thirty-one percent of young women become pregnant at least once before they reach the age of 20. Eight in ten of these pregnancies are unintended and 81 percent are to unmarried teens (studies from The National Campaign to prevent teen and unplanned pregnancy). 
Given the type of work we do at the Eden Clinic sex is a main topic. Over a period of 14 years of talking about sex with girls I've asked some reasonable questions no one else seems to be asking them. Questions such as...
...Is it worth it?
...Is it that great?
...Has sex made your relationship with your boyfriend better?
...Does it make you feel good about yourself?
...Do you even like it?
Some of the girls are shy talking about sex but the mass majority of young women have made comments like these, "I don't know what the big deal is," "I don't even like doing it," and "No, it's totally not worth it, but how can I say no to him?"
From my experience I've found that young women, especially teens are struggling with this sex thing. I don't think they are associating the pain of breaking up and rejection, low self-esteem, a lack of respect from the opposite sex, and relationship problems with sexual activity. They don't get that sex is an intimate act created for two people who's soul's bond together and they become one, not because they get married, but because they "consummate" the oneness through sex. But marriage is supposed to be the first step. That is, if you want to protect yourself from so much pain.
We work hard to keep young people from smoking, doing drugs, and drinking alcohol. We tell them to just say NO! We teach them how drinking and driving will kill them and drugs will fry their brains, but we shy away from the topic of sexual activity. I know it's a difficult topic to discuss with our own kids.
It seems to me suggesting that teenagers (and single people) abstain from sex until they are married is absurd and scoffed at by most adults these days. The truth is parents have more influence on their teens than they think. Consider these facts from The National Campaign who surveyed teens and adults about teens, sex & pregnancy.
Parent Power
~ Teens continue to say that parents most influence their decisions about sex.
~Eight in ten teens say that it would be much easier for teens to delay sexual activity and avoid pregnancy if they were able to have open, honest conversations about these topics with their parents.
~Six in ten teens wish they were able to talk more openly about relationships with their parents.
Sex and Regret
~ Most teens (65% of girls and 57% of boys) who have had sex say they wish they had waited.
Teen Pregnancy and Religion
~Most teens (73%) and adults (70%) believe religious leaders and groups should be doing more to help prevent teen pregnancy.
It would certainly decrease teen pregnancy and STD's if just the girls would start standing up for themselves and say something like... "MY SEX AIN'T FREE, SO DON'T ASK ME!" Maybe we should make pink t-shirts and give them to all the girls in every high school in the area (?) We might start a crusade, you think? I know, I know the boys need addressed too, but right now I'll work on the girls.
Okay, I'm stepping down from the soapbox now - thanks for reading and I welcome your suggestions or comments :)
~Linda | 
