To me, men's small groups have always felt awkward and contrived. Apparently other men feel it too, because I've rarely seen men's groups last as long as women's do. I think John McLarty has put his finger on the problem, and pointed a way to a solution. LGSEarly this year, I made a fresh attempt to visit all the homes of my members. I've been in this small congregation for eight years, so I know my people fairly well. Still, I learned.
In one home, the wife was eloquent in her appreciation for the way our congregation had made both her and her husband feel like they belonged. She had developed a new friendship with another woman in the church. They lunched together once a week. They talked. It made sense to me. Both of them are driven. They are highly successful in their careers. Now they had a friendship that was supportive and warm.
The husband agreed that something special had happened in our church for him. "Over the years," he said, "in churches we've attended, I've been an elder and deacon. I've taught Sabbath School. I've given money. But this is the first church where I've really felt like part of the group."
What made the difference? Last year, we built a church. Though a contractor did most of the work, there was still a lot for us to do. For six months nearly every Sunday a group of men worked at the church. In their "day jobs" they were executives, physicians, dentists, IT professionals. But on Sunday, at the church, they were ditch diggers, roofers, tractor drivers, rock pickers, wheelbarrow pushers-together. About half of them were already good friends. But for the other half, these miserable Sundays working together in typical Seattle weather created a new bond.
I would love to report that getting these men out for our Sunday work was a carefully crafted strategy of ministry. Truth is, it was a desperate effort to get our church built while keeping the mortgage within reach. But working together worked. It did far more than get a building up.
My theory is that we men connect with each other most readily by working together. Talk is okay, but it works better for women. For us, getting dirty, wet and miserable together is the key. That's where we make the connections we experience as genuine friendship.
Questions or comments on spiritual activity for men? Write John at johnmclarty@earthlink.net, or visit North Hill Adventist Fellowship's website.
Are you or a colleague doing something especially interesting and innovative in ministry? Tell us about it at BestPractices@ameritech.net. 
