You may also be discouraged by the fact that you have to spend a holiday with a certain person or people that rub you the wrong way, say things that bother you or make choices that offend you.

 

When we focus our energy on someone else's choices, whether it be a parent, a sibling or a friend, and we let them affect us in ways that cause us frustration, guilt and defensiveness, that is giving away our power.  If we could consider that this person is doing the best they can with the tools they have in their own personal toolbelts and their choices are a reflection on them, their experiences and their values and not on us at all, it would remind us that how we react to others is a choice that only we can make. 

 

As much as we want to believe that controlling the actions of others would make our lives easier, in fact it's really the other way around.  Being in control of our own actions and most of all, reactions, is a characteristic of true power.  

 

Being in control does not mean that we bottle up our feelings and keep our mouth shut.  It means that we truly realize that the way others act towards us or in general is not our stuff, so to speak.  We understand that focusing on drama, builds and creates more drama.  We are aware that too often perfection is expected of each of us yet not one of us is able to live up to such expectations.

 

When we finally decide that our positive opinion of ourselves is the most important one of all, we learn to become less affected by the opinions, actions and choices of others and to simply ignore such negativity.  We learn to access our own inner power and accessing that power is, and always will be, a choice.  In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, "Nobody has the right to make you feel inferior without your consent."

 

I am reminded of a conversation with my 15 year old son (one of the most powerful people I know!), who is constantly picked on because of his uni-brow!  He cracks us up at the dinner table, telling us of one wise crack after another from the kids at school and I am consistently in awe of how he handles himself.   Rather than sinking inward and absorbing those negative opinions, he chooses to focus on how clever some of the kids are and how they make him laugh.  He also chooses to focus on what's important to him, where he excels and the positive effect he does have and wants to continue to have on others.   He says, "We all have something, Mom and so we might as well learn to laugh at ourselves!"  Out of the mouths of babes!

 

Best wishes for a peaceful Thanksgiving filled with gratitude, laughter and an effortless choice to be powerful!