Unnatural Silence
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 Deborah P. Brunt
"Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him," says New International Version. "Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him," says New American Standard.
Other English translations use similar words. I haven't located any translation that comes close to conveying the meaning of the Hebrew - the intensity of the "stillness," the travail of the "waiting," required.
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Be still before the LORD
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Be still - stop all forward progress and "normal" activities, AND
Be silent - cease communication, hush,
when everything in you cries to do otherwise.
The Hebrew verb translated "be still" or "rest" in Psalm 37:7 is not one of the two words normally translated "to rest, be quiet." Surprisingly, this verb, damam, does not summon you to quiet rest. When damam appears in the Old Testament, it almost always prompts an incongruous act of silence and stillness. To accomplish this act, you have to wrestle down, not just your fleshly self, but the you God created you to be, the you he delights in your becoming. You have to deny yourself at the deepest level.
As with fasts from food, God requires this type self-denial only for set times and specific purposes. Ah, but he doesn't necessarily tell the ones thrust into such an unnatural stillness why they must observe it or how long it will last.
Immediately after the Israelites crossed the Red Sea on dry land, they sang in faith about what would happen as they passed through hostile nations on their way to the Promised Land. For a set time and a specific reason, those nations would do something totally uncharacteristic:
"By the power of your arm
they will be as still [damam] as a stone -
until your people pass by, O LORD,
until the people you bought pass by" (Ex. 15:16, italics within Scripture quotes are mine)
As Joshua fought to deliver a city under attack, a city he had sworn to protect, the sun did something atypical, unnatural - something it has never done before or since: "On the day the LORD gave the Amorites over to Israel, Joshua said to the LORD in the presence of Israel:
"'Sun, stand still [damam] over Gibeon,
and you, moon, over the Valley of Aijalon.'
So the sun stood still [damam]
and the moon stopped,
till the nation avenged itself on its enemies' . . .
"The sun stopped in the middle of the sky and delayed going down about a full day" (Josh 10:12-14). For the sun, being still required fighting against its God-given course, set from the creation of the world. For both Aaron the priest and Ezekiel the prophet, being still required equally profound self-denial.
Shortly after Aaron became high priest, two of his sons "offered unauthorized fire before the LORD, contrary to his command. So fire came out from the presence of the LORD and consumed them, and they died before the LORD. Moses then said to Aaron, 'This is what the LORD spoke of when he said:
Among those who approach me
I will be proved holy;
in the sight of all the people
I will be honored.' "Aaron remained silent [damam]" (Lev. 10:1-3).
Centuries later, God told Ezekiel something no one wants to hear: "'Son of man, behold, I am about to take from you the desire of your eyes with a blow; but you shall not mourn and you shall not weep, and your tears shall not come. Groan silently [damam]; make no mourning for the dead. Bind on your turban and put your shoes on your feet, and do not cover your mustache and do not eat the bread of men.' So I spoke to the people in the morning, and in the evening my wife died. And in the morning I did as I was commanded" (Ezek. 24:15-17 NASU).
Ezekiel and Aaron both grieved deeply. They did not suppress the rush of feelings or tangle of thoughts that accompany profound loss. Yet the God who is holy, who is mystery, who is love, required them to groan silently, to lament "in secret" - without any outward sound or demonstration.
It's utterly incomprehensible. I know.
When God calls for this type "being still," he does not invite us into denial, but rather into a season of profound self-denial. We fully experience what threatens to swallow us up. Yet, while everything in us cries to speak up and move on, we stand still.
For me, "being still" meant ceasing for a season from "ministry," including writing. It required grieving profound losses, yet remaining silent as to what I was experiencing. Please understand: I did cry out to God - a lot. I did talk and pray with a few trusted friends. But without knowing when or if the season would end, I found myself in a place where I could not go forward with anything that my inmost being longed to step into, and I could not explain to people what I was going through.
Even if God had given me freedom to explain, I didn't have the words.
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| Wait patiently for him |
Contrary to what the English implies, this verb speaks not of stillness, but of violent motion:
Writhe in labor, travail, whirl about, dance, twist, tremble.
The Hebrew, chuwl, does not call for the patient waiting of nine months of pregnancy. It calls forth the intensity, the expectancy, of the delivery room.
When Esther learned that her beloved foster father Mordecai lay in deep mourning at the king's gate, she "writhed [chuwl] in great anguish" (Est. 4:4 NASU). Isaiah foretold a day when people "will writhe [chuwl] like a woman in labor" (Isa. 13:8).
To do this kind of waiting, you do not sit, twiddling your thumbs. You do not look dreamily at the sky. You count and breath and cry out and squeeze the life out of any hand someone holds out to you.
It seems paradoxical to pair a command to "be still and silent" with a command to "writhe in labor," but the one does not contradict the other. When you're in labor, you have to cease all normal activities. You have to forego all ordinary communication. You have to focus on getting that baby born - and stop everything else.
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| Call for the midwives |
And thus I "rested" and "waited patiently" through months of prolonged, frustrating and painful labor. Did I mention that it didn't feel good? I definitely mentioned it to God. Did I understand the things I just explained to you? Only vaguely, after months of not having a clue what was happening.
When at last God began to give me insight, I told him, "I don't have the strength or the desire to bring anything to birth." Desperately, I asked, "What do I do?"
He answered, "Call for the midwives." When he showed me who he meant, I knew that if those three women could coordinate their schedules to come long distance and pray with me, it would be GOD who had done it. Several weeks later, they came.
One of the three, Ruthie, said, "You know, midwives don't deliver babies. They just encourage and help while God and the mama do all the work." That day, in tender and firm and amazing ways, the three encouraged and helped. When they left, we hadn't birthed a baby, but I knew it would happen.
I cannot give you 10 tips for walking successfully through a season of unnatural silence. I could probably suggest 10 things not to do - all of which I did. But one thing I did right: I kept telling the Lord, "No matter how much I kick and scream, no matter how loudly I whine or how often I threaten to bale, I'm with YOU, and I'm asking to honor YOU."
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| Delivery! |
"As a pregnant woman about to give birth writhes and cries out in her pain, so were we in your presence, LORD" (Isa. 26:17).
"'Do I bring to the moment of birth and not give delivery?' says the LORD" (Isa. 66:9).
Last month, God gave delivery. Abruptly, the unnatural silence and stillness ended. In the words of my friend Jaylene, the "grief fever" broke. The season changed. The self-denial I did not want and did not like - yet did not abort - birthed something new.
You may wonder if the baby is a boy or a girl. Ah, my friends, it's spirit and life.
As with any birth, it had to be preceded by labor.
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Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, Today's New International Version™ TNIV ®. Copyright © 2001, 2005 by International Bible Society ®. All rights reserved worldwide. Also quoted: New American Standard Updated (NASU).
"be still" - OT:1826 damam. "wait patiently" - OT:2342 chuwl or chiyl. Researched in PC Study Bible by BibleSoft. See especially the definitions for these Hebrew words in:
Biblesoft's New Exhaustive Strong's Numbers and Concordance with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary. Copyright © 1994, 2003 Biblesoft, Inc. and International Bible Translators, Inc.
Brown Driver & Briggs Hebrew Lexicon, Copyright © 1993, Woodside Bible Fellowship, Ontario, Canada. Licensed from the Institute for Creation Research. |
| Awake, awake, sing a song! |
one song to sing in a season of unnatural silence
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