Living the traditional, American life I lead, it's no wonder that prior to my trip to the Dominican Republic I was filled with doubt and continual questions about what I was preparing to embark upon.  Prior to husband, mortgage and kids, I had lived a life of wanderlust.  Filling myself with consciousness by traveling to foreign countries and allowing experiences to carry me to the next port of my life.

I have always loved living like this - with no commitment, no worries and no deadlines.  Just being in the moment.  So after 7 years of living a predictable, regimented, scheduled life, you can imagine how I felt thrown into my "prior life" of unpredictability.

You guessed it - great.

There was an undeniable sense of wholeness I felt being in the Dominican Republic.  No technology, new people, a deep, important purpose set my heart on fire!  I enjoyed living in the moment and being one with the community of Habanero.  No pretenses, no expectations, no greed, no underlying agendas.  It felt so amazing.

Understanding that in order to come back to this life gracefully, I had to compare the two lifestyles and recognize how they were so different but yet the same.  I couldn't come back and not use the Internet, get upset when my kids didn't get along, give their toys and clothes away and walk to work. 

I also, quite honestly enjoy the fact that I can drink my water, take a nice shower, wash my hair every day, turn on my electricity, go to the doctor when I need to and use the restroom without any issues.

I had to wonder though, which lifestyle was better for my soul.  Finally after three days back I realized....both.  But an unexpected truth that came out of that experience was that one life cannot survive completely without the other.  And thankfully, because of the choices I have made in my life, I can have both.  But how many times do we suffer because we allow ourselves to think we have to choose?

We play a movie in our head that says that we can only have one and not the other. We tell ourselves that we should just be happy with what we have but yet we continually wish for something different.  We put off our heart's desire for later thinking we cannot experience both lives at the same time.  Only to find out years later after our kids our gone, we are resentful and unhappy because we left a part of us unfulfilled.  Buddha says these are the issues that cause all of our suffering.

I am grateful today that I have the husband that I do that allows me to be dynamic.  That I have given myself permission to experience a life that is dynamic.  That I have recognized that we can have it all in this lifetime simultaneously, but only if we know beyond knowing what it is that truly fills our soul.  That my children are healthy enough for me to live fully and completely without worrying about their survival.  And that I chose to travel to this little spot on the globe that has now become such an important part of  my soul.

Allow yourself the freedom to dream - don't put anything off until tomorrow.  Don't be afraid and don't wait.  Life is waiting for you to grab it and live it fully and completely.  Your heart will open up to life's gifts if you let go and be.