A dental team from Dentus Dental goes there every year and supports over 200 villagers with all their dental needs for free.  Everything is donated....everything.  This year, Brenda asked myself and two others to head up their health and wellness program.  We get to teach these little kids about general hygiene!  And we will be passing out donated clothes and eye glasses to the village. We also get to paint hopscotch boards on their school playground.  How fortunate I am to be included with this group and to have recruited two of our teacher trainees in the process!  Doesn't that sound awesome?  Yes, I thought so too.

So it's only 5 weeks away and I woke up the other night in a panic.  As the date draws nearer I find myself with so many mixed emotions.  I am going to be gone, away from family, no phone, no internet, no communication with my family for 10 days.  Gulp. Thankfully, my mother-in-law is coming to help my husband out with the kids.  But still...all my work stuff will have to wait....who's going to blog?  Facebook?  Answer emails?  I started to analyze the details of what I would be missing, forgetting about what I would be doing.  Immediately I began thinking about ways I could get out of this trip.  Yes - I can admit it because it's a lesson for everyone!

Why?  Why did I want out?  Fear.  Loss of control.  But I had to ask myself, what am I afraid of?  Am I really in control of anything as it is now anyway?  Interesting isn't it? I began to work myself up about what would go on while I was away.  And how could my husband and my mother-in-law possibly take care of the kids while I was gone.  Oh my - what would my house look like?  Would the girls brush their hair and teeth every day?  Who's going to remember to feed the cats and the fish?  Is their homework going to get done?  What about dance, gymnastics and theater? 

Tired yet?

Exactly.  If I am thinking that I have to control and take responsibility for all these things, no wonder I was panicked.  That's a ton of control! I had to let go.  And I know that some of you are laughing or even thinking, "Well of course.  Let go already.  Geez, do you reallyneed to control everything?  What a control freak."   But I also know that some of you out there don't even give yourself permission to go away for an overnight without your kids or by yourself.  I know people who stay in jobs they hate just so they can pay their bills.  Putting off what they really love to do for another time in their life.  Why ---- because we have "things" to do.  We have responsibilities that take precedence.

But guess what - when we think like this, like we have to control everything and put things off because of our responsibilities, we become resentful and we lack a zest for what life is really about.  We stay comfortable in our shell and complacent in our actions.  Not only that but if we do have children, what message does that teach them?  To put off their dreams for a better time?

Now I'm not telling anyone to run off to an impoverished country and be a "do-gooder".  What I am only suggesting is that we look at our life and notice if we are holding back.  Are we underestimating the power we have within based on fears and negative thinking?  Are we saying no to opportunities because we fear a loss of control?

If you are - notice it and be aware.  Ask yourself, what are my top 5 or even 10 passions?  Why am I not doing these things?  What am I afraid of?  Is there a valid fear?  Most likely not.

Make this a New Year that is full of vibrant energy! Stop holding back and let go!