Weekly Om - Detachment

Weekly Om

Detachment

This is a really big challenge for most of us. How do we detach ourselves from our material items? Our titles? Our community? Our family? Our children? Our identity? What does that mean when we detach ourselves? Then what happens? Just this thought alone creates discomfort in the most peaceful of yogis.

And why? Because Patanjali says that this alone, vairagyam or non-attachment, is the key to inner peace. The consciousness of self-mastery in one who is free from craving objects seen or heard about is non-attachment. (Sutras 1:15)

Is this why then so many people are unhappy, unfulfilled, disillusioned and ill? Because we go through life wanting and desiring things? Then how do we stop our attachment to these illusions of our life?

The Vedantic scriptures say that "Even the desire for liberation is a bondage" because we desire to be liberated. Patanjali goes on to say that as long as the mind is there, its duty is to desire. (Sutras 1:16) So who is desiring? Our Self or our ego?

Wow - so now what?

Apparently the key to inner peace is to desire without any personal or selfish motive. To have no expectation in anything we say, feel or do. In this way we have no attachment to the outcome because we expect nothing.

When I hear this, karma yoga and selfless service comes to mind. Losing everything comes to mind. When we have nothing, we have nothing to lose. This doesn't mean we can't own beautiful things, enjoy our family or strive to get that promotion. It just means that we can detach ourselves from the outcome. We can enjoy that moment but be okay with it when it's over.

Still a difficult concept to digest? Yes, me too. Where I get stuck is the detachment from my kids. Even thinking about this gives me a lump in my throat. How can I experience nonattachment to my kids? Aren't I supposed to be with them, guide them, watch over them, teach them, cuddle them, and discipline them? How can I possibly be detached from those little spirits that obviously need my guidance?

Patanjali says to just enjoy being together and that is all. To have no expectation. Someone else told me once that the minute we have kids, our one goal is to be able to let go accordingly. That it's a continuous process of letting go. This felt like a stab in my heart at first. What, let go? I want to protect them... but what good does that do? Not much for them and it's pretty selfish on my part.

However, having detachment from who they are becoming and releasing expectation about who they are right now, creates a sense of lightness in my heart and mind.

Does it mean we can't love in order to detach? Absolutely not! It just means loving without attachment.

"Keep the heart in God and the head in the world. If you know how to put your heart in God, you can rest there always and still play in the world." I love that.

In the same way, we need never be afraid of the world if we learn to enjoy it without expectation. If we can detach ourselves and find only enjoyment in each moment.

Let's practice that this week. Enjoy what we have, enjoy each moment without expectation or attachment to it. See how light that feels.

Peace,

Go to our website