"For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business." T. S Elliot
I remember a teacher that used to tell me - don't wait for the feelings to change before you take the action. Take the action and the feelings will change.
How often do we wait for our fear to dissipate, or our situation to change before we take the next step?
The truth is whenever we move into unfamiliar territory we will always have uncomfortable moments. It's a new experience. We don't know what to expect. There is no assured outcome. We just know that we are called to move forward.
Recently, I've stepped out in business. I've been called to find out more of what I'm capable of doing, how I'm capable of showing up, what I'm capable of making happen.
Each step along the way, I get a little dumbfounded. Okay, I've taken this step, now what?
I'm constantly stepping into new arenas, and I don't always know the answer. Sometimes, I have to sit in the not knowing until something reveals itself. And eventually, the way is made clear.
But from my experience, I am never informed about the next step until I'm there.
I'm never aware of the new fear, feeling or revelation that is going to come up until I show up for what preceded it. I never know the next logical step until I'm facing it. So, I have to get there, first.
In other words, there is no way to prepare for taking the leap, before well, taking the leap.
We have to be open to clearing the path where there are blocks. But we cannot know the blocks before we get there.
We don't know what kind of issues are going to surface with intimacy in relationships or money and power in business or success or failure in our creative endeavors until we actually come face to face with them.
But it seems, from what I can gather, that this is the dance.
We take a step beyond our comfort zone, and then give ourselves a chance to catch up with our new self.
This is not a cerebral experience. We don't work it out in our head while sitting in our living room.
It's kinesthetic. We learn by doing.
And I'll tell you what begins to happen:
We begin to get comfortable with the discomfort. We begin to get clear on where we end and where others begin. We begin to recognize where our true gifts and talents lie and how we best serve in the world. We begin to build the confidence we need to proceed in the direction of our dreams.
The little step outside our comfort zone that doesn't kill us the first time, gives us the courage to do it again the next time.
Enough times of doing this and we are living out our true potential.
I love T. Harv Eker's saying: "How you do anything is how you do everything."
Because, pretty soon, our courage rubs off and we begin to embrace it in other areas of our lives.
We become willing to step out in ways we never allowed ourselves before. We begin to ask ourselves the question: Is this really possible? And we answer it with: Let's find out.
And we move from thinking out loud to living out loud.
Sound daunting?
Here are some strategies that have helped me:
- Stay away from the "GOAL" and instead simply move in the "DIRECTION". In other words, don't expect a certain outcome. You don't want to set yourself up for an either/or situation (either I succeed at this goal, or I fail). Instead, simply move in a direction and stay open to the possibility with a strong intention toward your goal.
- Keep FORM. It doesn't matter if you are feeling particularly insecure about a new approach, or unclear about the next step, or don't know "the how". Do what you know how to do. Be consistent. Stay with "form".
- Act as if. There's a person in me that is a confident business owner, but when she is scared or unsure, she doesn't show up. So, I have to go within and get her. I ask myself, what I would do if I were that confident business owner right now. And I act as if.
- Cut yourself some slack. Even baby steps are good enough. And you're not always going to get it right. How many times has a child fallen down when he was first learning how to walk? We're growing new legs. We're going slip up sometimes. It's part of the process. Have a relaxed attitude about it. Just remember, three steps forward and two steps backward is still progress.
- Embrace failure. Robert Kiyosaki, author of Rich Dad Poor Dad has a saying: "If you're not failing, you're not trying". 'Nuf said.
- Don't wait for your feelings to change before you take the action. Take the action and your feelings will change. When I first started having to call high profile speakers like Caroline Myss or Dr. Daniel Amen, or Jack Canfield inviting them for the teleseminar I was producing, I was so nervous. Who was I? I wrote a script out and read it enough times out loud to get the shakes out of my voice, and then I picked up the phone. Had I waited for the fear to dissipate, I would have never gotten past go.
- Ask for help. You don't have to know everything. There are people that have been where you are and would love to share their wisdom with you. You don't have to do it alone.
- Trust yourself. We each have our own internal guidance system. It's called our intuition and it shows up for us very strongly when we honor it. Honor it. It's the most important thing you can do.
- Be flexible. Sometimes things show up differently then we expect them to. But that doesn't mean it's not happening the way it's supposed to be. There are no wrong turns. We will be informed by all of it.
- Use everything. Everything is an opportunity for growth. So, none of it is wasted. Whether we succeed or fail, we will get deeper to the truth of something and have the opportunity to do it the same or differently next time. There are no wasted opportunities.
Just remember above all else that everything happens in good time. Our ship will never sail without us. It will present itself again and again and again. Our only job is to continue to be ready for it. If not this time, the next time.
So much of life is about continuing to show up.
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