MMM: On Self-Appreciation

"Every time you say, "I appreciate that. I really like that. I applaud that. I acknowledge the value in that." Every time you do that, you spend some of your Energy, and it is the spending of the Energy that creates a vacuum, so to speak, or an attraction, so to speak, that draws more and more and more and more."
--- Abraham-Hicks

Okay, so maybe it's a touchy feely topic, one that we don't like to talk about. Because it seems strange to pat ourselves on the back for doing the right thing, or progressing in a direction of our choice, right?

But is it so strange to do this? Why do we think self-criticism and monitoring our flaws is more constructive then self-appreciation?

I've noticed something about people. The more they appreciate themselves, and adore themselves and think the progress they've made is great, the happier they are as people, and the easier they are to be around. But how many of these people do you actually meet?

More often we are trying to prove our worth, not just to others but to ourselves. And because we don't measure up to what someone else is doing in their life, or the place they are financially, or socially, or personally, or creatively, or spiritually, we think we are somehow flawed.

But are we really?

For everything that we may have done wrong, I'm going to guess, we've done at least 10 things right. But where does our focus go? The one area we may have not lived up to our full potential. It's like people have sometimes experienced: They go to make a presentation at a conference and they get raving reviews. But the only one they remember is the one brooding in the front row that refused to applause.

But this doesn't happen to the one in self-appreciation, the one mentioned earlier, who adores themselves and thinks they're all that. For these people, the disapproving individual doesn't even enter into their radar. They only hear the applause, as it should be, and pat themselves on the back for another job well done. They go home pleased.

So, how do we get from here to there?

Like anything else, self-appreciation is a habit and needs to be cultivated as such.

We are so humble, sometimes. we don't even give ourselves credit for the talented, creative and fabulous individuals we are.

So, the first thing is to begin. Here are a few ways to start:

1)       Make it mandatory, that if you are going to look at what you did wrong, or ways you need to improve, that you also list at least the things that you did right and/or acknowledge the ways you already have improved.

2)       When you get stuck in the trap of comparison, that leads to self-judgment, back up a bit and instead of comparing yourself to the other, compare yourself to the YOU that you were 5 or 10 years ago. Take note of all the areas that are new and improved.

3)       Before going to bed at night, make a mental note to yourself of all the things you did right that day. Or, if you need tangible proof to remind yourself later, write them down. Make this a habit until it is second nature that what you do right and what you do well is in the forefront of your mind.

4)       Finding it hard to find things to appreciate about yourself? Send an email to your friends; tell them you're doing research. Ask them what they appreciate about you, or the things they find about you that are unique. Take them in.

I was at a birthday party not long ago, and the woman's husband asked everyone who was invited to send him something they appreciated about his wife, what they loved about her. And on the day of the party, when everyone was gathered around for cake ready to sing her happy birthday, he read all the responses that were sent. She just stood there and took it all in. These were her friends. They loved her. What a great way to bring in a new year!

5)       Find something to appreciate about someone else every day, and pay them a compliment. You cannot appreciate something about someone else without it, in part, being within you. If you had no affiliation to it, you wouldn't be able to see it in others (for example, you wouldn't be able to recognize someone good in business, if you didn't have that aptitude yourself). So, in your appreciating of others, you are also appreciating yourself.

6)       When someone pays you a compliment, do not disprove, quantify or deny it! Take it in, hear it, make a mental note, and say "thank you". I had a teacher once tell me "Let others invent you." And it was sage advice. How we perceive ourselves can sometimes be so far off from how we are perceived by others. Take note. Add it to your arsenal of fabulousness.

I know. I know. To some of you this is touchy feely crap. But it happens to be touchy feely crap that is also IMPORTANT.

Why? Because it makes your life better. In ALL areas.

And isn't this one of the most simple ways to improve your life?

What you focus on grows, and in focusing on your flaws, you bring more attention to your flaws. In focusing on your strengths, gifts, talents, beauty and everything else wonderful about you, the more attention you bring there.

Also, as Abraham-Hicks, the leading proponents of Law of Attraction, says "Appreciation is the quickest way to dissolve resistance." And "resistance", in case you haven't heard them talk about it, is that thing that stands in the way between you and your greatest desires.

So, have I made a case for it yet?

How many of you would rather be partnered with someone critical, who was always telling you of ways to improve, of how you're okay, but could be better? Is that who you would choose as a partner over someone who was doting, loving and appreciative?

Think about it. We are our own partners 24/7.

Maybe it's time we switched it up a bit?

Om Freely