MMM: On the Art of Appreciation

I used to have a coach that would start out every session with, "So, tell me the good news!"

It took me a while to get used to this. Knowing she was going to ask, I had to prepare myself before hand so I had something to say. Because really, I just wanted to jump in and tell her everything that I needed to change.

At first it was tough. I'd go through my memory bank and try to think up what, actually was the good news? Often, I might be able to come up with only one thing. "Um, I'm calling you?"

But as I anticipated this each session, I started looking forward to the question.

I knew that something had shifted when she launched into her anchoring prayer and then asked me what I wanted to focus on. I had to tell her, "Wait, I first have to tell you my good news"

Which in a round about way brings me to my point.

Often we have a number of things we want to focus on. We need to make more money. We need to make new friends. We need to find a new job, career, apartment, life partner, etc. We need to improve our emotional lives, our sex lives, our love lives, our financial lives. We need to be more, do more, and have more. We need to always, fill some kind of lack or void in our lives.

But the thing about this kind of focus is that we are focused on what is missing and we come from a place of lack.

Not that this is a bad thing.

Contrast and looking at what we don't have, always gives us clarity on what we want in our lives and this is a very good thing.

But often, in our looking at what we don't have and/or what may not be working in our lives, we completely overlook what we do have and what is working.

This is what I want to focus on.

Abraham-Hicks, the leading proponents of law of attraction states that as we ask, it is given, every single time. The only reason we are not getting what we want is that we are in a state of "resistance" or not allowing.

And one of the easiest ways to get into a state of allowing, they tell us, is to get into a state of appreciation.

They say, if we kept a "Book of Positive Aspects" (which I'll explain later) for a month straight, writing in it every day, that our whole point of attraction would change and we would begin receiving the things we've been asking for. It is the quickest way, they tell us, to "raise our vibration."

This is a pretty amazing promise.

But get why this is true. When you are in a state of appreciation, you are in a state of receiving, you are in a state of euphoria, you are in a state of excitement and anticipation, and you are in a state of ALLOWING.

Lately I've been being diligent about this practice. I like playing with the many different practices of law of attraction and seeing what happens. Are they right? Let me find out.

Here are some exercises I will share with you. Do one or do them all, and see for yourself how they shift your mood, your day, your outcome, your anticipation, your life.

Monotype S. Derian

1) Before you go to sleep at night, while you are lying in bed, go over the day's activities and think back to everything you did right. Make a list of everything that worked out for you. You made it to your appointment on time, traffic flowed well for you, your friend bought you lunch, you got a call from someone you hadn't heard from in awhile, you got a check in the mail, the sun came out, you enjoyed a really well made café latte, etc. Go through the day and consider everything that worked, everything that pleased you, everything that brought pleasure or ease or grace to your life in any way.

If you are new to this sort of practice, it may feel stilted, or uncomfortable. You may not have immediate access to these things, which simply means that you haven't been in the habit of noticing. And that's okay. Just see if you can come up with 10 things. And then the following week, come up with 20 things a day, and then maybe 30 things, or whatever. Work with yourself.

2) When you wake up in the morning, take an extra 10 minutes before you have to get out of bed and start the day in gratitude. For example, "I love these new sheets on my bed. I love the way they feel on my skin. I love that I have fluffy pillows to sleep on. I love the weight of my comforter and how much fluff I have all around me. I love that my cat greets me in the morning. I love that I get to wake up next to the person I'm in love with. I love that I have a job to go to today. I love that I have central heat and my house is warm. I love that the sun is shining outside. I love that my roof kept out the rain last night and that I live in such luxury."

It's the most ideal to do this in the morning before you get out of bed because you are setting a tone of gratitude right at the start. But if you are in a rush, you can do it in the car. See if you can start in the car, the fact that you have a vehicle that has a heater, or windshield wipers that work, or a cup holder, etc. It's easiest to start with the immediate environment and then move outward.

In other words, wherever you are, start there. If it's difficult, pick a number. Come up with 10 things, or 15 or 20 things. If you don't feel anything, imagine your life without those things or remember a time when you DIDN'T have these things and then give thanks for having them. Count the ways in which your life is already blessed and rich and abundant and full.

3) Keep a Book of Positive Aspects. This is great because it makes it a formal exercise. Actually, you can even make it a practice, go to a coffee shop and make it an event to write about all the positive aspects in your life. This is very similar to the other exercises but you're actually adding another one of the senses and writing it down. You can use it to write about everything you appreciate about another person. Have you been taking your friendships or your partner for granted? Write about everything you love about them. Write about how much you've gained in knowing them. Write about what they have added to your life. Or maybe you don't want to be that specific; you just want to savor your life. Write about your kids, your animals, your travel expeditions - anything and everything that gives you full access to a state of appreciation, aliveness and play.

In other words, bliss yourself out. Deliberately.

Because the thing is, what we focus on grows. So, if we create a regular practice of focusing on everything that we appreciate in our lives, then we will simply begin attracting more things to appreciate.

These are just three exercises that are very doable, accessible and free. And there is a power in them that plants you in your life, as it is right now, in a magnificent way. Loving what is and eager for more.

So, while you can still want more money, more love, more friendships, more projects, more romance, more time, more fun, etc. you can relish, at least, in the moments in which it already exists.

Because if we cannot appreciate what we have, if we cannot count our blessings now -

Then, when?

Do it.

Mark your calendars. Practice it for 30 days.

See what happens.