MMM: On the Power of "NO"

"A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble".    Mohandas Gandhi

I want to begin by saying that I'm a huge fan of the word YES.

But I also realize that sometimes we say YES to things that don't matter to us. We pass the time with the word YES, and don't really utilize our choice in the matter.

I had a teacher who used to tell me "Your 'Yes's mean nothing until you learn how to say 'No'".

My assignment for a month was to say NO to everything. Or at the very least to tell people, "I'll think about it and get back to you." This was very difficult for me because I wanted to be all things to all people. To not say "Yes" on the spot was to risk disapproval.

But after the initial discomfort I found it quite liberating.

No, I can't do that. No, I don't have time. No, I'm not interested. No, it's not a match. No, maybe another time. No, I need more. No, but how about this?

If we say yes to everything, never discerning the right YES for us, what difference does it make what we're saying yes to? Our yes loses it's authority.

Learning the power of the word NO is about learning the power of discernment and becoming deliberate in our choices. We have to get rid of the old before we can take on the new. We have to say NO to the things that don't serve us to make room for the YES in our life that does.
Why is this so difficult for some of us?

Because it forces us to be deciders. It forces us to choose. And in forcing us to choose, it makes us very conscious of what we're choosing. And in being very conscious of what we're choosing, we become vulnerable or fearful that what we are desiring may not be available to us.

Easier to say "Yes" to what's coming our way than to actively choose to say NO and risk something closer to our desire being unavailable to us.

Right?

But even if this is the argument - and for some of us it is - for the sake of self-expansion, what would be so wrong with learning how to make deliberate choices in the direction of our desires, anyway?

What would be so wrong with just pausing on an automatic yes and asking ourselves, "Is this what I really want? Is this something I'm passionate about?" and allowing ourselves to answer before making a final decision?

Because, the thing is, sometimes we say "yes" to things because we are afraid that this is as good as it gets. We say "yes" to things to pass the time. But what we are told is, if we have the ability to ask, the universe has the ability to deliver. "Ask and it will be given" is the quote in the bible.

So, then the question becomes one of faith: Do we believe that we can have what we want? Do we have the ability to receive our good? Are we in a place where we can allow our Yes from the Universe?

Or have we so cluttered our life with our small yes's, that we miss out on the one YES that truly matters?

This week, take some time to consider what you are saying yes to. Ask yourself, "is my heart in this? Or can I let this go to make room for something that matters more?"

And realize that it's not the "something" that matters more. It's that YOU matter more, and it's time to simply decide.

And trust.