Monday Morning Memo: On Being Happy

"Use the light that is in you to recover your natural clearness of sight." Lao-tse

There is this equation that reads, if you learn what is wrong with something, you will understand how to fix it. If something is broken, you take it apart and put it back together again. Break it down and then build it back up.

The importance of learning history, they tell us, is that history tends to repeat itself. If we learn what went wrong in the past, the logic is we will not repeat it in the future.

We are programmed to look at things in this way, and when the self-help movement came along, it seemed natural that we begin applying the same logic to ourselves. We figured, if we could just understand why the relationship failed, or the money was lacking, or our friendships dried up - if we could just figure all that out - we could somehow solve the problem and all would be right again.

This seemed a logical conclusion at our attempt to "fix" what seemed broken.

But then we learned about "Law of Attraction" which states that everything like itself is drawn. In other words, what we focus on, grows. Or stated another way, that which we give our attention to, we get more of. Uh-Oh.

And this created quite a conundrum.

Because the way these two played out together was that as we looked at what was wrong with us, law of attraction came into play giving us a magnifying glass to look closer and find even more. And the more we focused on this lack, the more tread we laid for this kind of thinking and the more evidence of lack we were given.

Has anyone found themselves in this situation? Focusing on what is wrong only to be given even more to consider?

If this has been your experience, you have experienced first hand: Law of attraction is a powerful force.

But for this same reason, there is good news. Because the reverse is also true. There is something powerful that happens when we stand in the affirmation of who we are.

Law of attraction is neutral. It's what we give our attention to that it magnetizes. The choice remains in our hands as to the direction of the magnification.

"Don't argue for your limitations", the leading proponents of law of attraction, Abraham-Hicks tells us. "Instead, focus on your strengths. Stand in your individuality."

I had a life coach once that started every call with "Tell me the good news." It was so contrary to what I was expecting, knowing that she was going to ask, I had to prepare myself in advance! I was calling with what needed to be fixed, what I needed help with. This is WHY I was calling. But she would have none of it.

And that made all the difference.

Pretty soon I was looking forward to our sessions so I could "tell her the good news."

There is something that shifts when we start out our day with praise and thanksgiving for what we already have, for who we already are. We end up on the lane with the least amount of traffic, we get the barista at starbucks who is in a good mood, the banker on the phone understands the mix up and waives the service charges. We get the police officer who pulls us over to give us a warning instead of a ticket. It's almost as if the world becomes a friendlier place, simply because we have set a new tone.

If you have been in the habit of speaking unkindly of yourself, to yourself or about yourself, consider this a worthy goal this week, and see if you can begin to shift the energy. If you're looking at what is wrong, look also at what is right. If you are focused on what is not working, give some time also, to what is working.

In other words, shift the energy to what you would like to experience more of in your life.

Not because there are not areas in which you would like to see improvement. But because law of attraction is a powerful force and you want to use it to your advantage. Not your detriment.

The answer to the question "why can't people just be happy with themselves?" is complicated, it's true.

But it is also true that happiness is a choice. And that there is a lot about our lives that work; a lot we have, right now, to be grateful for.

And that where we focus our attention can make all the difference.

In an effort to keep these short (I really do try!), there is often, much I leave out in favor of brevity. If you would like to apply some of the work or readings to your own life, and you need help, feel free to contact me for a free 15 minute consultation. sonya@omfreely.com

If you have comments or would like a topic addressed in a future Monday Morning Memo, feel free to share your thoughts: sonya@omfreely.com