Where do our beliefs come from?
Initially our beliefs come from other people like parents, teachers, peer groups, friends, family, the media and religion.In fact, from anyone who ever exerted, or still exerts, any influence over us. They are formed in childhood and during adolescence.
Think back to your childhood. How was your behaviour affected by what someone else said about you?
Prehaps a cutting remark from a teacher or friend such as, " What a stupid answer!" made you think twice about raising your hand again in class, for fear of ridicule or humiliation.
Can you remember any strong beliefs that you formed about yourself or your situation? It is very likely that those beliefs still influence your behavior today. If you received positive encouragement from your parents, teachers and peers, you will have the foundation of good, healthy positive self-belief.
If however, you were subjected to criticism, ridicule or blame, either real or perceived by you as such, then your belief pattern will be more negative and disempowering.
All children receive negative messages.Behaviour scientists and child psychologists generally accept that children, under five, receive ten or more negative phrases from their parents for every single positive one.Some of these are for the child's own protection but the subconscious accepts all negative messages with equal value, whether they are for their own good or not.
Very often there is a push from others to conform. For many, this is difficult to resist because of the very strong need to seek approval, to fit in and be accepted.
Thus, initial self-image originated from our reaction to the attitudes that other people had towards you.
Consider an intelligent, hardworking young man who left university with a good degree in computer studies. His creative and innovative ideas are often taken and developed by other colleagues because he simply lacks confidence to voice them in team meetings. His conversations are peppered with phrases like. " I know this might sound daft", or, "this probably won't work".
He is hesitant and always seeks approval before proceeding with anything. His beliefs were developed at an early age. The youngest of three, he was completely dominated by two older sisters who made fun of all his ideas, who thought they knew best and who took over and made his decisions for him. His resultant belief that he has nothing really useful to contribute completely disempowers and limits him.
Old beliefs established in childhood are projected forward on to new and current situations. The good news is that those beliefs can be changed and turned around. It is just a question of reprogramming the subconscious mind.
