Chaplain or Leader?

"I don't want to be a '50's chaplain!" exclaimed my client. "This church needs a leader! I want to lead them to be a new kind of church!"

Do you feel this way sometimes? Or do you know pastors who do - or at least act that way?

How does a pastor (or other leader) deal with this issue?

First, those of us who grew up in or before the 1950's know that while there were some who saw their calling to be simply a chaplain, there were plenty who didn't. Think of all the churches that were started.

However, this isn't the point. What we're dealing with here is not an either/or issue. It's a both-and polarity. Roy Oswald and Barry Johnson frame this as the "Inreach AND Outreach" polarity. How do we respond to members' needs AND take care of those outside our membership? (see resource below)

Vital churches manage this polarity well. On the Inreach side, they have people, both staff and trained lay leaders who respond to the needs of members. Stephen Ministers and many small groups provide this kind of care. More mature Christians nurture newer disciples in their spiritual journey. Growing spiritually is a priority.

While both pastor and lay leaders attend to this Inreach, it is critical that the pastor demonstrate real care for people. This is particularly important in family and pastoral sized churches where generally people expect the pastor to be the primary care-giver. But it's not just in smaller churches - or churches generally.

The Gallup organization surveyed some 10,000 people around the world, asking them to identify a leader who has made or makes a positive contribution to their life and then, in their own words, to list three words which described what the leader contributed to their life. The results had remarkable consistency, with over 1000 listing the exact same words.

Gallup pollsters found that people need a leader who:

• Builds trust
• Shows compassion
• Provides stability
• Creates hope

(from Strengths Based Leadership - pp 82 ff)

Showing compassion, really caring, is critical.

However, the downside of Inreach is that pastor(s) can spend too much time providing hands-on care. They become hand-holders, encouraging narcissism and self-centered behavior. They enable neurotic behavior. The church will lose credibility in its neighborhood with people noting that "First Church members are very caring for each other but don't give a hoot about anyone else. They're a country club."

Enter Outreach. The positive side of Outreach is that the church demonstrates real care for its community and the world. Members (including the pastor) engage in hands-on care for the poor or hurting, helping with a Habitat House, delivering Meals on Wheels, engaging in community action for social justice, or going on a Mission Trip to a third world country. The church gains a reputation for living out the Great Commandment. Members give generously to mission outside the church's walls.

The downside of Outreach is that needs of members are often overlooked. Staff and lay leaders burn out and don't attend to their own spiritual growth and refreshment. Members think that taking care of the building and other necessary stuff isn't all that important.

Bottom line: it isn't Inreach VS Outreach; it's Inreach AND Outreach.   Both-And.

What are some of the polarities in your church? To what extent are you treating them like problems to be solved rather than polarities to be managed? How might you reframe issues so that people will stop fighting and start working together on both dimensions of a polarity?

I'd love to help you explore your situation.

Email or call me and we can set up a demonstration coaching session by telephone (or in person if possible).

If you find this article helpful and think of friends who would benefit from it, please forward this to them.  

Managing Polarities in Congregations: Eight Keys for Thriving Faith Communities - by Roy M. Oswald and Barry Johnson  

Churches and other organizations have to deal with many issues. Some are clearly laden with doctrinal and theological dimensions - e.g. ordination of women, homosexuals. Church members - good "Christian people" - sometimes become unbelievably nasty as they contend over such issues.

But many issues are not problems to be solved, where one side or another wins. They are polarities. They are both-and." Oswald and Johnson offer a really important resource for pastors and leaders dealing with polarities. First, a definition:

"Polarities are interdependent pairs of truths that are a natural and integral part of our daily lives. Like all other natural phenomena, they are a gift from God."

Exercise and Rest is one such polarity. We need both. The right amount of exercise keeps us in shape. We feel better, are able to deal with stress, cholesterol levels are better, etc. We also need rest to rejuvenate from all our exercise (and sitting at a desk or driving or other daily activity). There is a positive side to both exercise and rest. However, there are negative sides. Exercise too much and you can hurt yourself. Rest too much and you get flabby.   Both exercise and rest are essential for health. It's not either/or.

Oswald and Johnson describe eight polarities most congregations must manage. One I've been helping two clients handle is Strong Clergy Leadership AND Strong Lay Leadership. In these situations, strong lay leaders see the pastors (both women) as weak and incompetent. The lay leaders want to run the show and cut the pastors out of decision making. In one sense they are bullies. More charitably, they are seeking (from their perspective) the well being of their church and that involves protecting the church against these inexperienced clergy. These lay leaders emphasize only the strong lay leadership side of the polarity, resulting in dispirited pastors and poor decisions.  

Conversely, I've seen churches where pastors and staff micro-manage everything. Capable lay leaders are reduced to setting up for pot-luck suppers and ushering. They take little initiative, waiting for direction from the pastor. They often leave such congregations for one that appreciates and uses their gifts. And the pastors and staff are burned out, wondering why nobody helps.

The other polarities described are:

• Tradition AND Innovation
• Spiritual Health AND Institutional Health
• Management AND Leadership
• Inreach AND Outreach
• Nurture AND Transformation
• Making Disciples - Easy Process AND Challenging Process
• Call AND Duty

The authors describe each polarity, give excellent examples of how it is managed poorly or well, and suggest both early warnings that the congregation is sliding too much towards one pole and some action steps to balance the polarity.

For an article about this, see the Alban Institute website http://www.alban.org/conversation.aspx?id=8797

If any of these polarities sound familiar, I urge you to get this book asap. I'd love to coach you as you wrestle with how to reframe the discussion in your congregation and better manage the polarities you face.

What books or resources have you found

• March - The View From the 20th Floor     
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