Isn't Coaching for Losers?  

A client observed recently that "when you offered coaching to me shortly after I came to my church, I was somewhat offended.  'Why would I need coaching,' I thought to myself.  'I know what I'm doing.'  But working with you has been so helpful.  You bring different perspectives and help me frame issues from other angles that really help me be a lot more effective."

When leadership coaching began in private industry, bosses would refer subordinates who had problems to coaches.  The idea was that they needed to be fixed.  "Get a coach who will straighten you up and eliminate your problems!" 

But as coaching developed, leaders began to recognize that coaching not only helped those having difficulty, but it was especially helpful for those who were already good leaders and who had potential for significantly greater responsibility.  Fast forward a few years.  Now aspiring leaders are concerned if they do not have a coach!

The International Coach Federation did a global survey of coaches and clients - both individual clients and corporate clients to assess the impact of coaching.  Amazingly, nearly 50% of companies that hired coaches reported a return on investment between 10 and 50 times!  Put in church terms, if your church employed a coach to help strengthen your leadership, they could conceivably gain at least $10,000 for every $1000 spent!

Obviously churches cannot be compared directly with businesses, but to the extent that a pastor is a more effective leader and molds the church into doing really effective ministry, it will gain new members and have a greater impact on its community. 

What are some situations in which a coach might be especially helpful?

1.  You are new to a church and are faced with the deluge of new information that comes with being in a new system.  Who are the real leaders?  Where are the landmines?  What is the trust level?   What small steps might I take to build trust right away?  I can help you make a really effective entrance into your new church.

2.  You've been in a church for a few years and are feeling a little stale.  Patterns seem to be repeating.  What might you do to break some of the old patterns?  Perhaps you've participated in some church renewal seminars or even had a consultant work with leaders of your church.  What specific steps might you take?  How do you lead fellow leaders to make effective decisions for action and then follow through on their plans?  I can help you plan a course of action and hold you accountable to your best self.

3.  You're dealing with a system that enables and supports bullies.  Or perhaps the congregation and/or governing board is fight phobic - they don't know how to deal with differences.   How might you effectively address this destructive behavior?  I can help you develop effective ways of leading members to have constructive conflict.

4.  You are having difficulty maintaining balance between your work and the rest of your life.  Your spouse and family are hassling you about whether you care for them.  I can help you get clarity about this balance and bring some reality checks.

5.  You have lots of great ideas about what you might do in your church.  Members are taking the ideas and improving them.  You are losing control and aren't sure just how much control you need to assert.  I can help you design accountability systems and clarify what results you are most important.

So, as you reflect this summer on how you might strengthen your ministry, consider employing a coach - me or another experienced, certified coach. 

Email me and we can set up a demonstration coaching session by telephone (or in person if possible).

If you find this article helpful and think of friends who would benefit from it, please forward this to them.  

The Social Animal: The Hidden Sources of Love, Character, and Achievement -  by David Brooks

"Harold found that in Washington the highest status went to those who studied things involving guns and banks.  People who wrote about war, budgets, and global finance strode around like titans, but people who wrote about family policy, early-childhood education, and community relationships were treated like pudgy geeks at a frat party.  You could pull a senator aside and try to talk about the importance of maternal bonds to future human development and the senator would look at you indulgently, as if you were raising money for a group-therapy farm for lonely puppies.  Then he'd go off to talk about something serious - a tax bill or a defense contract."  (p 316)

New York Times columnist Brooks offers this entertaining, well written book reflecting on how we humans are at root social animals, not random individuals each acting in our own self-interest.  He organizes it around a couple, Harold and Erika, who come from dramatically different backgrounds, tracing their intellectual, emotional, and social development.

In one chapter especially relevant to church leaders, he writes:  "Without a healthy social fabric, politics became polarized.  One party came to represent the state.   The other came to represent the market.  One party tried to shift power and money to government; the other tried to shift those things to voucher and other market mechanisms... 

"In socially depleted nations, many people began to form their personal identities around their political faction.  ..Politicians and media polemicists took advantage of the psychic vacuum and turned parties into cults, demanding and rewarding complete loyalty to the tribe."  (p. 319)

Brooks is wonderfully quotable.  Some of his descriptions made me laugh out loud!   And I think he is absolutely on target in his analysis of our polarized nation.

I commend The Social Animal to you.

What books or resources have you found