|
A Deeper Look at Trust
The foundation for building a successful pastor/church relationship is trust. If the members of your church don't trust you and/or you don't trust them, then you're dead in the water. You will make no progress.
I have found that trust depends a lot on what has happened before. If previous pastors have been trustworthy, then churches are inclined to trust their new pastor. But if there have been betrayals of trust, then people are cautious - sometimes too cautious.
So how do you build trust? Especially if it has been broken?
Stephen M. R. Covey has written an excellent book, The Speed of Trust - The One Thing That Changes Everything. ( he is the son of Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People) I encourage you to get it and reflect on his detailed analysis of trust. He asserts that lack of trust is responsible for most of the laws, rules, and regulations that slow progress. High trust organizations can work much faster and spend much less on regulatory behavior than low trust organizations. He suggests that lack of trust becomes a "trust tax" that costs unimaginable amounts.
He also notes that there is a kind of trust bank in an organization. Members of the organization, as they behave in trustworthy ways, build up the trust balance. But when someone or a group of people betray trust, then the balance goes down, sometimes into negative territory!
Covey describes trust as a combination of character and competence.
Character = integrity and intent
Character has two dimensions: integrity and intent. Covey notes that people of high integrity convey a sense of congruence (i.e. their words and actions hang together). People can spot phonies fairly quickly, letting themselves be fooled only once. Think of persons you have initially trusted but whom, after you got to know them, didn't ring true. Perhaps you caught them in a lie. Perhaps something just didn't feel right. Whatever the cause, you wondered about their integrity - their character. And you didn't trust them.
Another dimension of congruence is humility. Isaiah prophesies a suffering servant. Jesus embodied the ultimate servant leader. Think of the leaders whom you most respect. Chances are they carry a sense of humility. Jim Collins, author of Good to Great, declares that some of the most effective leaders they found in their research "are a paradoxical blend of personal humility and professional will. They are more like Lincoln and Socrates than Patton or Caesar."
Another dimension of integrity is doing what you say you will. That implies that you don't make commitments lightly. Consider whether you can really respond in the way someone wants before you say "yes." But, on the other hand, don't undercut yourself by not making and keeping commitments.
Intent is character's other component. Pastors and theologians speak of "call." Why are you doing what you are doing? What is your motivation? I've known pastors who always seem to have their sights on that next position, who see serving a church with 350 members to be the stepping stone to being pastor of a church of 1000.
My sense is that while leaders might get away with this attitude in the business world, they won't last long as a pastor.
Isaiah prophesies a servant leader who would deliver Israel. Most theologians would describe Jesus as that ultimate servant leader. And Jesus, when confronted with disciples who were vying to be his top lieutenants, declared that "whomever would be master of all must be servant of all."
How does an attitude of service show up in your congregation? How effectively do members step up to support another member in crisis? Are there some lurking norms that declare that the pastor is somehow more entitled than members?
Building a foundation of trust begins with character. You have to be real, congruent, humble. You do what you say you will do. Your intent is clear. Both staff and members of the church are committed to building up the Body of Christ.
Competence
Competence combines with character to build trust. You need both. My friends and colleagues consider me a person of high character but they shouldn't (nor would they) trust me to be their accountant, plumber, or surgeon.
Covey suggests competence is a product of both capability and results. To really be trusted as a leader, you need to show you are capable of doing what is expected and to also deliver results.
I think of a pastor friend who had been in a church a very short time when the church's book-keeper told her about some financial irregularities. After some preliminary investigation, a special meeting of the governing board was convened. At that meeting, a fairly new member of the board who was a respected business leader exclaimed "This is all astounding! Doesn't the church do a regular audit and have good financial practices?" Because this board member was obviously capable and delivered results, the board immediately voted to bring in an outside auditor to examine everything.
Are you demonstrating both capability and results? Are members of the governing board capable - and do they accomplish things?
Breakdown in Trust
What if there is a breakdown in trust? If someone, especially you or a previous pastor betrayed the people?
I think the keys are repentance and grace. And real repentance means much more than the sappy, sobbing politician or preacher caught dallying with someone else's spouse. Most of us know that it's really hard to make up after a betrayal. So a genuine, humble, "I'm really sorry. I let you down. I let myself down." is a start. But then there must be a turning around. Behavior must change. And then, slowly, trust may be rebuilt. Grace is necessary both to begin and to continue the process of renewing the relationship.
Best, of course, not to break trust in the first place!
I have discussed trust in previous newsletters (see archive on my website).
The bottom line is that trust is the bottom line. If you don't get it, you don't get it.
If you are wrestling with lingering problems of mistrust in your congregation and would like me to coach you through a trust-building process, I'd love to help. Please email or give me a call. I'd love to talk with you.We can set up a demonstration coaching session.
If you know someone who might find this newsletter helpful, please forward it to them - and please use the button in the newsletter.
Here's to healthy churches - with healthy leaders! | 
