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Friends and Colleagues,
Are you entering a new church? Or do you know someone who is entering or about to enter one? If so, the main article could be incredibly helpful. It features a questionnaire I developed (and have used) that helps give a really good look at this new congregation.
The resource section highlights a terrific new book by Tony Campolo and Mary Albert Darling.
As you conclude your fall planning, I'd love to coach you, asking deep questions to help you clarify and focus. Give me a call or send an email.
If you know someone who might benefit from coaching and/or my thoughts here,
please use the "Forward to a Friend" button in the newsletter (that
way you'll avoid problems with spam filters).
Here's to clarity about how God is leading us!
Peace,
Bob
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Entering that New Church - Carefully and Effectively
The Search Committee tells Joe that the church wants to start using contemporary worship forms. He tries some that worked well in his
previous church. After two months there's
an uproar!
Susan,
a new Associate Pastor, is assigned to work with the youth and a liberal young
couples group. Her "liberal" ideas
outrage some powerful conservative leaders.
Alex
is confused by the governing board's inability to reach decisions on anything potentially
controversial. What's happening?
Has
something like this happened to you or a friend? From conversations with the Pastor Search Committee (or others), you thought
that you had a really good understanding of the church. You had great ideas for fulfilling their
dreams. But things fell apart! Did the the Search Committee lie or intentionally misrepresent
the situation?
I
have worked with or known pastors who have found themselves in all kinds of
difficulty because they didn't take time to understand the inner dynamics, i.e.
the system, of their new church. They
didn't know who the real leaders were, the untouchable practices or rooms or
furniture, what landmines to avoid. Unexpectedly, they had to seek a new call.
How
might these missteps be avoided?
Following
is a simple questionnaire which has really helped me understand a new
church. Several clients, pastors new to
a church as pastor, associate, or interim, have found it helpful. One could use it to interview a Search Committee in the
final stages of discussion.
Interview
25 - 35 leaders using these questions as a springboard (don't just send it to them). Then analyze your results. Share your insights with leaders. Describe reality as you see it. Explore questions and confusions. What are the norms of the congregation? What landmines have you uncovered?
There's a further bonus to doing this: taking the time to interview leaders does more than give you information. It shows members that you are interested in them and their perceptions and opinions. Your stock will go up with them. Further, it will help you avoid some minefields!
Here
are the questions with some reflections about what you might discover.
A Form for Interviewing Leaders early in a Pastorate-
Date:
Person: (Or group and its
members)
(assure them that their answers
will be confidential)
Tell me about a time ...
1. when you felt especially
proud of some members or leaders of your church - you felt they were really
following Christ.
This will give clues about the heroes and heroines - and what they
did. What and who does this church honor
and respect?
2. when you were disappointed with members or
leaders
Listen for stories about how your predecessors disappointed this
person. What do they tell you about the
church's norms and its expectations for pastors? Are people supportive or
critical?
3. when the church was particularly creative and
exciting, you knew the Holy Spirit was at work.
Similar to #1, this tells about where the Spirit is working now.
4. when fellow members were especially helpful
to you
This gives an idea of the kind of mutual care that people expect and
receive.
5. when being part of the church helped you
deepen your faith.
Is growing in faith an important value?
Who leads in this process? What
is the excitement level?
6. when church members resolved
a conflict or difference effectively so that they exemplified the grace of
Christ.
What are norms around conflict?
Do they even deal with conflict at all?
How did former pastors handle differences? What do they expect of you?
7. Tell me why you're glad you are in this
church.
This gives important clues to the church's strengths and
challenges. It tells you whether leaders
are close to burnout.
8. What makes people anxious?
This is really important. Again,
listen to what they say about previous pastors.
It also tells you about what's going on in the community.
9. Why did you join this
congregation instead of another church. (Did you try other churches?)
10. How was it becoming part of this church - how
easy was it to move from surface conviviality to deep friendship? (Or are you to deep friendship?)
These two questions tell you about whether this church has a spirit of
welcome or simply a surface conviviality.
Vital churches demonstrate warm hospitality.
11. What have you especially valued about your
pastors and other church staff? (be
specific)
Though this elicits positive regard, inevitably people will bring up
old gripes. Note them, but push people
to be aware of what they have valued.
12. What chronic frustrations or differences do
you hope I can help the church deal with?
This could open a big box, but listen anyway. Be clear with them that at this point you're listening
and learning, that there is no way that you can handle everything.
13. Who are those you especially respect as
leaders?
After doing 25 or so interviews you'll have identified the real leaders.
14. Complete this sentence: "God is calling this
church to be..."
This gives an indication of their sense of the church's identity. It should correspond closely with the
mission and vision study done in preparation to seeking a pastor.
15. What do you think God wants your church to
emphasize in the next 3-5 years?
Similar to the preceding question, this gives an idea of the consensus
around the church's stated priorities.
This is critical to your setting your priorities.
16. What else do I need to know in order to
thrive in this church and community?
One friend reflected on the culture shock he experienced in moving from
the DC metro area to a small city in the Midwest. "No matter where I am, I'm always on duty,"
he mused. "I almost always run into
someone who knows who I am!" He had to
adjust to being much more visible.
17. Any other concerns or suggestions?
You may get nothing from this question, but it opens the door. If something does come up, listen for
parallels in responses from others.
Try
using this (adapting the questions as you deem best). Listen and learn. It will help you avoid landmines, build a
stronger leadership team, and thrive in your new church.
If you want a Word version of the interview form, send me an email and I'd be glad to send it to you.
I'd love to coach you
and/or your governing board
regarding this process. Give me a call
and we can discuss possibilities.
If you know
someone new to a church who
might find this newsletter helpful, please
forward it to them - and please use the button
in the newsletter.
Here's to healthy churches - with healthy
leaders!
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Resources - books and other resources that have been helpful
(alternately - How to Hit the Ground Running)
Connecting
Like Jesus: Practices for Healing, Teaching, and Preaching - by Tony Campolo and Mary Albert Darling
Connect like Jesus?
I'd love to connect half as well as Tony Campolo!
Campolo, master teacher/preacher/communicator, and Mary Albert
Darling, Associate Professor of Communication at Spring Arbor University,
collaborate to offer a practical, delightful, and theologically solid book
Declaring that the Kingdom of God is "A place where
people are healthy, happy, and safe and everyone lives in soul-satisfying
relationships," they note how too many non-Christians perceive church
folks as bigoted and hypocritical, that churches are sometimes anything but the
Kingdom. "It's not likely negative
perceptions of Christians will change if we can't see how wrong our own harmful
communications patterns are." In
short, we need to connect like Jesus. Why? Because to connect like
Jesus is to engage in soul healing.
Campolo and Darling pepper the book with spiritual practices
designed to anchor the leader with God and better connect with others.
Building on their own education and experience, they draw
from extended interviews with Mindy Caliguire, Brian McLaren, and Shane
Claiborne as well as from spiritual giants such as John Wesley and Francois
Fenelon.
After jointly writing the first two chapters, Ms. Darling
writes the heart of the book - Practices
for Soul Healing. She draws on her
work with Richard Foster and Dallas Willard, sharing practices designed to help
the leader love both neighbor and
self and to deal with fear. For example,
she identifies six crucial questions for increased self-awareness:
· How good do you think you are at seeing
situations from someone else's perspective?
· Are you willing to say you are or could be
wrong"?
· Do you more
often than not see the negative things that happen in your life as the
fault of someone or something other than you?
· Do you often cut yourself slack in situations,
but do not cut others slack who are in similar situation?
· Do you have the tendency to think of other
people instead of yourself when responding to any of the previous questions?
· Do you believe you are the exception who doesn't
show the behavior pointed to in any of the previous questions?
She encourages the reader to use the Ignatian Prayer of
Examen, exploring strengths and weaknesses in the light of God's grace.
Undergirded by God's grace, the reader is led
to face and overcome those fears which throw up barriers to connecting.
Sacred (prayerful) listening , i.e. listening with the help
of the Holy Spirit helps break through barriers. Ms. Darling notes that asking is better than
telling; questions help us really connect the other to us and also to God. Most pastors and counselors have learned the
importance of powerful questions. A
powerful question leads a person to significantly deeper understanding and
subsequent commitment . It helps the
leader enter the other's pain and brokenness.
Building on these foundation stones, Darling then moves to
better ways of handling conflict, noting that the how is more important than the what.
A helpful concept Darling introduces is that of "Consensus Minus One." A person can surrender veto power for the good of the order, provided
he/she has the opportunity to be heard. She quotes Tony Campolo's candid assessment of how he and his wife have
surmounted major differences. "We
are able to maintain the dialogue in a loving relationship because each of
entertains the possibility, 'I could be wrong!'"
Campolo and Darling collaborate again in an excellent
chapter on the power of stories to tell the Story. They
affirm the preacher's telling personal stories, but suggest that someone make
sure they aren't told "too big!" (maybe a spouse?)
Campolo wraps up the book with some very helpful pointers on
preaching and teaching. Emphasizing the
importance of preparing oneself spiritually and intellectually, he shares what
has guided his own speaking:
· knowing your audience
· getting good material
· preaching good news - through solid Bible study
and studying other thinkers
· narrowing and organizing
· using appropriate humor
· practiced and passionate presentation
· letting the Holy Spirit run with you while you
are preaching or speaking
· making a clear call to commitment ("If we
lose this generation it will not be because we have made Christianity too
difficult for them but because we have made it too easy."
As a long-time pastor now coaching pastors to be better
leaders, I find this to be a most helpful book. Campolo and Darling combine a wealth of suggestions and experience. Novice pastors and teachers should spend
significant time with it. Experienced
pastors will find many helpful reminders.
You will be glad you read it - and spiritually refreshed if
you follow the practices outlined.
What books or resources have you found especially helpful? I'd be glad (with available space) to share your reviews and/or suggestions.
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Previous Newsletters
Here is a link to a list of my previous newsletters. Just click on the link and you'll be able to select what you'd like:
http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs032/1102564328120/archive/1103213242238.html
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Future Issues (monthly)
- Building a Leadership Team - a reprise
- Polarity Management
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I hope you have found this newsletter informative and helpful. Please subscribe to continue receiving it (or unsubscribe to stop). If you'd like to explore coaching, please email or call me.
If you have found it helpful, please forward it to friends who you think would appreciate it. (And please use the forward button on the newsletter itself.)
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Bob
Robert Harris
Harris Coaching and Consulting
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