January 4, 2011 Dear Blue Ridge Institute Friends, First of all, Hi Dee Hi and Happy New Year to All! I hope you are well and have survived our brief "respite" of the Holidays. It's now back to work and service we go! I regret that that I have some poignant, sad news to share about the passing of another of our dear, dear Blue Ridge colleagues and "true legends." Mary Free passed away on Sunday, January 2, 2011 at the nursing home where she had been living. Anne Kilpatrick had gone over to share the Holy Eucharist with her, as she had been doing as Eucharistic Minister, and Mary left us shortly thereafter. Anne said that Mary and her family were at peace. Thanks be to God. Mary's funeral will be held on Thursday, January 6, 2011 at 2:00 pm at the Cathedral of St. Luke and St. Paul in Franklin, VA. Anne sent me a beautiful remembrance of Mary that I am including with my own remembrances, especially for those of you who were "new" to knowing Mary Free. We all knew that this news would be coming sometime, but it still is a shock to the system. What a plucky, wonderful role model Mary was for all of us, but particularly the BRI women leaders. I remember my Fresh-person year when us "newbies" performed in the Talent Show for the first time and made great, but reverent, fun of the "oldsters" in the rocking chairs on the porch of Abbot Hall. First, we approached Larry Betts, the reigning President and asked if he thought we could "borrow" the li'l ole red shawl to use in our skit on stage. He refused to part with it, informing us that it would not be proper. So, our only other recourse was to invite Harold Weekly, former and oldest reigning BRI President to portray himself in our skit. Harold was flabbergasted, then said that he would be delighted and honored to appear with us! Larry "relented and lent the shawl" and Harold was the hit of the evening. Our next "adventure" was to wrestle away the vintage Yellow Straw Hat from Mary Free so that one of us could portray her. I remember that when we approached her on the porch of Abbot Hall, she had it resting on her head as she was drawling some fascinating story, rocking and throwing her head back in laughter. The Yellow Straw Hat kept up so nicely with her every move....We thought, dang, that hat is not just on her head, it's a part of her head! How are we ever gonna get that hat away from her, even for an hour! Well, my dear friend Ann Oldham turned on her also considerable female southern charm and persuasion, and successfully got the hat .... on short loan... and only for the brief performance ... and then we promptly placed it back on Mary's head where it definitely belonged. In the following years, Mary often mentioned to both Ann and me how much she enjoyed seeing her Yellow Hat on stage! I'm sure we all have great Mary Free remembrances to share with each other. Here are beautiful words from Anne Osborne Kilpatrick, who, as Harrison Rearden told me, "extended many courtesies and much care to Mary". Briefly, I am not in Florida, as I came home to SC after almost two weeks with 14 members of my family. Will think of all of you and will be there "in spirit" tomorrow. However, I think I was also supposed to be in Charleston, to say goodbye to our friend Mary Free. Here are some thoughts I wrote last night: If I were writing her obituary, I would start with the fact that she grew up in Tidewater Virginia, the daughter of Quaker farmers. She had a half-brother, and a biological brother who still lives on the family farm in Virginia. Her undergraduate degree in music was followed by a master in medical social work degree from Richmond. Her internship service included work for the Catholic Bishop of Richmond accompanying babies born in England back to Virginia (I think it was through Catholic Charities). While in Richmond, she met Buck Free, a divorced father of two small girls, and her condition of marriage was that she adopt his children as her daughters. She moved to Greenville, SC where she helped Robert Toomey build his social work department in the Greenville Hospital System. They also had a son, Mark. When she died, she had five grandchildren and multiple great-grandchildren. When her husband was offered a position in Charleston, they headed for the Lowcountry. She had known Charlie Fruit at Blue Ridge, and both had already served as Presidents of the Blue Ridge Institute for Southern Community Service Executives. She joined him at the Trident United Way. When I met Mary at the Trident United Way in Charleston in 1970, she was working as Director of the Community Welfare Planning Council, and was helping staff the Community Relations Committee. This committee had emerged from the Hospital Strike of 1969, and continued to work to facilitate peaceful conflict resolution between the police and the community. She helped develop and implement numerous programs and services, including comprehensive health planning, area agency on aging, child care, volunteer services, information and referral and other programs. Many of those programs and services still exist in the community today. After she left the United Way, Mary opened the Ronald McDonald House (50th in the nation) and served as its first director. She obtained a second masters degree in special education, and worked in contained classrooms. She also briefly ran a juvenile justice program. Her Quaker upbringing was reflected in the way she viewed her "clients" (she always had people who were her "projects" - from a small child she taught to read through informal or formal literacy programs, or in her neighborhood), to an elderly (and she was 80!) man she shared Chinese food with for a time. And the confidentiality she had learned as a social worker meant that she kept all these "projects" very private from those around her. Her last residence for over three decades was a three-story frame house that was divided into apartments, and that gave her income and served as her retirement program. She drove a car, and lived alone until December 2009. She could have lived with or closer to her children, but refused to leave Charleston, which had become home, her neighborhood of thirty years, where she had observed people, and most of all refused to impose herself on her children. She told me she was so proud of her children. When they asked her to perhaps come and live closer to them, her response was that it was sufficient for her to know that they were doing well. She didn't want to meddle (her word) in their lives by being geographically too close or too involved in their affairs. The Blue Ridge Institute for Southern Community Service Executives was a special part of Mary's life. A past president of the Institute, this 80-plus year summer institute recognized Mary's 50th anniversary in recent years, and noted that she had never missed attending a single year. Her daughter Jenny and Jenny's husband Danny surprised her by coming to the recognition event the opening night of that year's session. She loved sitting on the Abbott Porch, and regaling newcomers with stories of the founders and attendees, all told with laughter and love. Thanks, Anne. Happy New Year and please take care. --Mary Jo Mary Jo Monahan, 2010-2011 BRI President (813) 541-4971