Welcome to "I'm Just Lucky"
Greetings!
It started about 41
years ago, August of 1968. I had
just come back from Fort Benning, GA. ROTC summer camp. I was in great shape, no hair on my
head or fat on my body. It was
rush week at Rolla school of Mines, Rolla, Mo. So I was out with a few fraternity brothers at the
Blackberry Patch right off of highway 66, first exit into Rolla. As we ate, I was attracted to a couple
of girls at another table, one in particular. We ate and I tried to strike up a conversation, not very successfully. She was with her roommate, and I was
with mine. So we agreed to double
date the next week to a school dance.
My fraternity brother decided he liked the girl with long hair, the same
one I was interested in, so the girl with short hair and I were left to each
other. It turned out to be a lucky
move for me.
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Years Later...
Years later we would
share what initially attracted us to each other. She never used foul language, was very polite in her
conversation, that made an impression on me. I was going to an engineering school, 5000 guys, 300
girls. The girls loved to talk
touch, it was not that attractive to me.
She said that she was impressed by my politeness, I opened doors and
held them for her, said please and thank you, that sort of stuff. So I was lucky that my fraternity
brother decided to move in on the girl with long hair. We started dating, it went well. At one point we were at a restaurant,
she asked me to get her wallet. I
pulled it out, fell open to her driver's license. I looked at it, told her that they had made a mistake on her
birth date, showed her as 16. Not
possible, since she had been out of high school a year at that point. She laughed, said maybe so. So I said, just exactly how old are
you? She finally admitted she was
just 16. Graduated two years
early.
Smart girl, guess I am just
lucky. We got married the next
year, at age 17, in 1969. That is
important cause we are celebrating 40 years of marriage this year, kind of a
big deal! Especially when you
consider that is to the same woman, the first woman I married!
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40 Great Years!
My wife and I have
had a great 40 years, moved a lot, traveled a lot, ended up in Fort Collins,
CO. entire family is there with
us, most under one roof. I have
had many people ask me how do you stay married 40 years these days? It takes a lot of work, don't go to bed
mad, argue without getting personal, all that sort of stuff. May and I have added a few additional
ideas to the list you hear in those seminars, so here we go.
First of all, it
takes a commitment. Not just a
marriage commitment, a commitment to each other regardless of what
happens. We are fortunate that we
have had a relatively calm, peaceful life, not much has happened. Right! Lots of things have happened, still are happening
today. So the commitment is that
no matter what happens, we are still in the right relationship, with the right
person. One of the tough things we
see today is that is seems to be easy to quit. Quit the job, the relationship, even the marriage, when
things are not moving in your desired way.
Second, we have
placed God as first in our lives.
Not trying to get preachy, but we understood early on that there is a
higher power whom we call God, who knows exactly what we are going
through. We trust that he can get
us through any sort of situation.
And he does.
Third, we made a
decision to stay in Love. Not some
Oprah-feely stuff, a conscious decision.
When you make that decision, it makes it easier to handle the rough spots
that come your way. You act
different, think different, even talk different. When you make that decision, it makes all the other
decisions easier. Not that they
are easy, just easier.
Forth, we realize we
don't have all the answers, and get outside help when needed. Many times we have relied on
professionals to help with family issues of all kinds, just as we do with legal
matters and financial matters.
Fifth, we don't sweat
the small stuff. If it can be
fixed with time or money, it is not critical. OK, so some decisions HAVE to be made now, but in most
cases, we get all worked up about things that are not critical. Make a plan to understand what is
critical, what is important, and what may actually work it's own way to the
surface. Medical issues can be
critical, a family member in danger, your business on the edge of bankruptcy,
those require your immediate and undivided attention. Important issues are cash flow, credit card bills, see where
I am going? Also, while I'm here,
be sure you know what you can affect and what is out of your hands. That is the summation of the prayer
that they recite at AA meetings.
Because it works.
Sixth, we have a open
door policy, complete honesty. At
all times, in all situations. Even
if the significant other doesn't care for the answer, give it with complete
candor. When we try to shade
things, go around an uncomfortable topic, it will rise up later, and usually be
even more uncomfortable. So get it
out on the table now.
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How Does this Apply?
I have no idea what
your situation is, this may fit you or not. Start with the commitment. Be sure that you have a commitment to not only your business
but family as well.
Many of us
work long hours, every day of the week, trying to get ahead. Take some time to reconnect with the
family from time to time. May and
I still go shopping (note I did not say buying, just shopping) on a regular
basis. I am blessed that she can
travel with me much of the time, and we love to see other cities when I am
involved in training. When I am at
work, even on the road, I am fully engaged. But when I am with my family, I am also fully engaged.
Your employees also
need to know you have a commitment to them and the industry. That you will do what it takes to
succeed in business, as long as it does not violate moral and ethical
standards. That they can trust you
to do the right thing each and every time. Invest in your business, weather you are the owner or not. Be sure you are continually improving
your game, we must raise the bar each year.
This is not your father's economy; we have never been here
before. Since that is the case, we
must be more prepared than ever, and have a better skill set than we have had
in the past. And when you get into
some new project (think internet marketing), get some outside help.
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Get Advice! When you are faced
with an issue that is new to you, it is OK to get outside advice. In fact, that is critical to your
success today. With today's
markets moving at microwave speed, we must move fast and accurately, no time
for false starts and mistakes.
So my message this
month is this: I hope you have a relationship that you can count on. The best way to have that occur is to
be the person others can count on.
DWYSYWGTD. Do what you said
you were going to do, it sounds easy, but sometimes it is the hardest thing in
the world to do. In work, family,
love, all the relationships, it works the same way. People flock to the person who can be depended on.
Now, if you are in a
new relationship, congratulations!
Now, work hard today (and every day forward) to not only maintain but
improve that relationship. May and
I are in a small community, not many make it 40 years. We understand that, and also realize we
have to work on the relationship constantly to make sure it goes on for many
years to come. For me, I was lucky
to find a person with the same values, goals and morals as me. We matured together as we went through
life, enjoying the process and the journey.
Thanks for being part
of our family, more to come.
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