DEDICATION
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This article is dedicated to the family and friends of David Baran.
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In Memory of David Baran
Apr. 10, 1958 ~ Aug. 25, 2008
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David Baran
Just spent some time with one brave man. Dave Baran owns the UPS store where I get my mail delivered. Dave was really helpful when I moved to town, he knows everyone (OK, so maybe there are a couple of people Dave has not met, but I am pretty sure they are not movers and shakers) and hooked me up when I needed stuff done. He also has a great staff, and many times when I pull up in front of the store, they have my mail out and waiting for me.
Dave drives a Yamaha motorcycle, big touring bike. He was recently on a ride out on the north side of town, and things did not go well. He was doing fine until he hit a patch of oil on the winding, mountain road that we motorcyclists love to ride down. The bike got away, he hit the ditch on the right side of the road, then did a high side dismount. That is where the bike is sliding away from you, and you try to keep it up and ride it out. When the bike quits sliding, and hits dry pavement, you are thrown over the front end, rather violently, and in some cases the same bike you were riding now runs over you.
Dave ended up breaking his left hip and right ankle. Now, to be perfectly clear, he had a history of breaking his ankles. Dave is one of those sports guys, he likes to hike, climb mountains (or even large boulders), racquetball, all kinds of outdoor activities. So he has broken his ankle before. In fact, both, and more than once. So he was not surprised when the doctor said it would be tough to put it back together. He was in the emergency room for a couple of days, they had a huge halo on the right ankle. Yup, a halo, like you usually see on a person's head to keep the neck stable. He said it hurt now, the last time he broke that ankle, it started a cycle of pain that bothered him constantly.
...He always had a bag of painkillers with him, taking them daily for years. The conversation with his doctor went like this...
Doctor: "We may be able to rebuild the ankle, but it will take several surgeries, and you may be in some pain." - When the doctor says there may be some pain, it is a definite, you will be hurting.
Dave: "So you MAY be able to fix my ankle, but no guarantees except that it will take lots of surgery and pain." - He was already in pain, he had several operations prior to this latest accident, so he was no stranger to vicodin.
So he told the doctor, "Chop it off!" His words, not mine, but I'll use them as he spoke them...
So he made an important decision. He told them to chop his lower leg off. Wow. Not something you do lightly, but he had thought it out. After years of pain, he decided to take drastic action, and move on with his life.
So how did it go?
I visited him in the hospital a few days after the surgery. He was in the break room getting a bottle of juice. I started to help him, since he was in a wheelchair. He told me not to help, he would get the juice himself. I was impressed. He said if they tell him to do things for himself, he is doing exactly what they say, all by himself. He is doing all kinds of funky exercises, working muscles he did not realize he had. So I asked him how he felt about his decision. His answer surprised me. He looked me in the eye, and said: "Best thing that could ever have happened". Wow. Not the answer I expected. He went on to say that the ankle had bothered him for years, constant pain. After surgery, he felt immediate relief. Immediate. So he is sure it was the best solution for him. He went on to say that he would be back on the bike in Oct. He is getting a prosthetic leg in the next few weeks, he wants a bright shiny one. It is his right leg, so it works the rear brake on the bike. I asked if the bike was OK to ride, he said it was not hurt, in fact a friend rode it home from the accident. He is doing just fine, looking forward to tomorrow.
The Back Story...
Another important fact is that David is laid up for a while, can't get into work like he used to. Not that he had an actual position at work, he is the owner, and did some of every job from time to time. His business is doing fine, he has some great people in place. That is one mark of a successful businessman, when you can walk away for a while, and things keep moving with the team in place.
Back to the story.
Dave is in trouble. He can't stand on his right leg, since it has been chopped off, and he can't stand on his left leg because that hip is broken. Usually when you have a bad leg, you favor that leg by putting your weight on the opposite side. Dave cannot do that. So he is sent home, but has to spend 30 days without standing. Not much fun.
Dave soon realized that it takes a lot longer than he imagined to do anything, showers, dressing, and all that. He also understood that if he was to spend 30 days at home, he needed a better chair. He goes out shopping on the first week-end home to find a new chair. Now, do you believe that this world is a small world? I do, and so does Dave. He is sitting in a huge furniture store, and a woman comes up to him, says she is glad to see him. Dave asked if he knows her, she says not yet, but they have something in common. She rolls up her pants leg, she has a prosthetic leg as well! She told him her leg hurt for years after several operations, so she had it removed. Dave said, you had it chopped off! It is emotional, and they immediately bond.
I talked to Dave a few days later, he was still in good spirits. He is talking about starting a web site, a blog, a support group, all kinds of stuff. Dave is creative, and has been successful in the UPS business.
My question to you is this.
What is bothering you today? Do you have a project that did not go well? Key employee quit, and happened to forget that the customers he was working with were your customers, not his. IRS send you a letter this week? Your market down some this year? I just talked to a client in Milwaukee who told me the summer never came. They finally had 4 or 5 days of over 90 degrees in the first week of August, too late. His customers believe that if they made it to August, fall is right behind. Not good for business.
Dave understands that he has a lot of work ahead, but he is thinking of ways to make his life as positive as possible. He knows he cannot change the past, but he can embrace the future. What he does have control over is his reaction to life. That is true for us as well, we cannot change the way life works out, just how we react to what situation we find ourselves in. So when you find yourselves surrounded by problems, and there seems to be no way out, remember Dave. He is a brave man who is making the best of a situation he is in.
So my message is this, what is keeping you up these days? Don't let it. Think of Dave and just get past it.
P.S.
I was just at the UPS store on Wednesday, a couple of weeks after writing this message. They were in morning; Dave had passed away the night before, had a heart attack in his sleep. We had a celebration of his life on the next Saturday, about 60 people came to share what Dave had meant to them, and what he had done for them. It was moving, and a tribute to an amazing, brave man. His memory lives on in the spirit of those who knew him, loved him and honored him with their presence. You never know when the last conversation with a friend will be the last conversation with them. Years ago May and I were in Phoenix, took some photos of friends at the Starbucks we frequented. A week later, one of them had passed away. We sent the photo of him to the family, it was the one they had enlarged for the services. They said it represented him perfectly. So to a certain extent, nothing is random, there are no coincidences, everything has a part in a much bigger plan.
We just need to see how we fit into that bigger plan.
Thanks for listening, we'll talk later.
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Sincerely,...
James Hinshaw
Sales Improvement Professionals Inc.
Direct: (602) 369-8097
JimHinshaw@SIpTraining.com
www.SipTraining.com
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