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Our Generation Gap
Hitting a Tar Baby- Discussed (by Pat Vache)
Last month we asked our readers to share with us who they thought said, "it's like hitting a tar baby" and what it meant.
How it started: In a recent Kinections meeting I made the comment, "it's like hitting a tar baby." After seeing the confusion on Mia's and Trish's face- between the three of us, we discovered that one grew up with the Uncle Remus stories, one knew only that they had become politically incorrect, and the third never heard of Br'er Fox and his woodland friends.
What we discovered was that we were not only spinning in a generation gap, but at the same time grappling with the movement of mores from generation to generation.
Little did we realize that while we were engaged in a fun dialog exploring how language can change with time, others were mired in their own sticky situation brought on by a lack of connection between their words, perceived meaning, and history- Not sure what I mean? If you are curious take a peek at a recent political article.
For us, the tar baby was a metaphor for a "sticky situation" and a lesson on the easiest and most elegant way to avoid unhealthy conflict. The term tar baby comes from a 19th-century Uncle Remus story, in which Br'er Fox made a figure of sticks and tar in order to trap his adversary, Br'er Rabbit. Predictably Br'er Rabbit gets stuck in the stick and tar figure, and the more he struggles to free himself from the tar baby, the more he gets mired in his own struggle. Only when he quits his aggressive behavior, does he get free and live to tell the tale.
We found an easy modern day lesson to learn from Uncle Remus in our Sexual Harassment training program. It is there that we explore the 3 step plan for speaking up when encountering an offensive situation. In the 3 step plan, we discover that when facing a sticky situation the best course of actions is to:
1) Walk away (to give yourself time)
2) Gather you thoughts
3) Speak up (to stop the offensive behavior)
By following this simple strategy in what is often a quickly escalating moment of crisis, one can defuse the immediate situation as well as give yourself the time and space to develop a plan for resolution. From time to time it is impossible to avoid the "sticky situation", but it is also not necessary to fight your way deeper into the trap.
Thanks to our many responders for taking the time to answer our post, and a special thanks to our Starbucks gift card winner, Lynn, for being the first to respond with the correct answer!
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