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 April 2011

Emily Cameron, a member of the International Coach Federation, is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC) trained by The Coaches Training Institute.

 

Emily specializes in self-discovery and personal transformation. 

 

"Emily is very professional and knowledgeable in her area of expertise. I learned more about myself and the person that I was and wanted to be during my sessions. She really used her skills and techniques to really make you do some soul searching about yourself and it was a wealth of information and life changing. I highly recommend Emily for anyone who is looking for direction and clarity in their lives." --Donna Huelsenbeck

 

"As my coach, (Emily) patiently guided me as I connected to my deepest values and, over time, began honoring them.... I feel more myself than ever before."
--Kristann Montague, Auburn, Washington

 

Emily is a partner with her clients during Life/Career transitions.

 

"Emily's coaching work really changed my life. I had been considering becoming an independent consultant but had some trepidation about leaving the supposed security of a salaried position. She helped me assess my strengths, weaknesses, and capabilities and provided the personal tools I needed to make the switch. I have since had years of success and career growth as a proposal consultant and give her most of the credit for the positive direction my career has taken."                --Jan Butorac

 

"I had a great paying job in the career field in which I had majored in college, but I wasn't happy at all... that's when I began working with Emily Cameron. Her coaching style helped me ...to find out what my needs were and (she) encouraged me to keep these needs in mind when seeking employment. I am now working in a field that is 180 degrees away from my old job, and I couldn't be happier. I enjoy going to work again, and I feel that my contributions are making a difference."
--Nate King

 

 

Services Offered:

  • Personal/professional coaching over phone or in office
  • Relationship coaching over phone or in office
  • Group facilitation
  • Teleclasses
  • Myers-Briggs qualified
  • Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)

phone: 703.409.2287

email:emily@focuscoaching.info


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or visit her on the web www.focuscoaching.info

A Note from Emily 

 

March's teleclass, A Spiritual Approach to Weight is well underway.  The class is based on Marianne Williamson's latest book about surrendering weight forever. This 22-week charter class is teaching us all so much about taking a spiritual approach to a healthy lifestyle.  This approach connects the dots from diet and exercise to spirit.  As I write, I'm preparing for a retreat with Marianne on this course.  I'll share a few nuggets of what I learn in next month's Evoke.  The next teleclass will be in early fall.  Please let me know of your interest (click here) and I will keep you informed on what you can do now until that next class.  If I get enough requests I will consider running a concurrent class.

A New Look at Selfishness

  

Think back to when you were a child.  Remember being told, "Don't be selfish."  Modern culture prizes selflessness and abhors selfishness, in effect setting the two against each other. 

 

"The alternatives are either to love others, which is a virtue, or to love oneself, which is a sin," wrote social scientist and philosopher Erich Fromm, in his essay entitled "Selfishness and Self-Love."

 

While no one would argue with considering others, it could be worthwhile to re-examine our beliefs around being selfish.. Do we really aspire to be without concern for ourselves? Or is it important to value and love ourselves, to think for ourselves, to have a life of our own and to be able to love others without losing ourselves? How do we differentiate between valuing ourselves and egotistically indulging ourselves?

 

The answers lie in self-knowledge. When we undertake an inner journey and come to truly understand ourselves-the sacred and profane dimensions of our lives-we develop the capacity to deal honestly, thoughtfully and lovingly with ourselves, as well as other people.

 

"The process of attaining self-knowledge both softens and strengthens us and serves to help us love and appreciate life and other people," says Bud Harris, author of the book Sacred Selfishness: A Guide to Living a Life of Substance.

 

Understanding ourselves better means discovering the negative effects of our histories, working to change them, building on our strengths and potentials, and relating to people in a more straightforward, authentic manner. It also means learning to love ourselves, to take in the fullest meaning of the biblical maxim "Love your neighbor as yourself."

 

"Self-love is the firm foundation that determines how strongly we can give love and receive love," Harris says.    

 

Consider how being selfish can lead to selfless acts.   From years of personal experience, as well as coaching great men and women, I've come to understand that selfishness leads to selflessness.  When we care deeply for ourselves, we naturally begin to care for others - our families, our friends, our greater global community, and the environment - in a healthier and more effective way. We tell the truth. We make choices from love instead of guilt and obligation.  We soon realize that we're all connected and that our individual actions affect a greater whole. There's so much wisdom in the advice we all receive from our flight attendants, put the oxygen mask on yourself first so you may assist others around you.

 

So many people come to my coaching practice having "lost" their "self" along the way.  They yearn to connect or reconnect to their authentic self and life purpose.  We begin our co-active coaching with self-discovery exercises and quickly move on to strategies of self care.  Dis-covering (literally uncovering) your true, authentic self is not only a gift to you but a valuable gift to others around you.  The strength and confidence gained through self-discovery work and taking care of oneself first leads to more focused productivity in life, work and community.  Going from self-lessness to self-focus can release more energy to be used in service of others. 

 

Inner work, or the quest for self-knowledge, is greatly aided by the following tools of self-discovery. Inner work is not a quick-fix but a life-long deepening of the connection to your truest self that can enrich all life beyond words.

 

Journaling

Writing in journals is not just recording events, as in a diary. To journal is to explore feelings, thoughts, experiences, to look for connections and themes, to express the innermost aspects of your life experience. Best is to pick a time-the same time every day-for regular journaling. If you can't think of anything to write at first, just write, "Can't think of anything, can't think of anything," until the hand begins to fly with the stuff just under the surface. You can start with a question:  What went well today?  What am I grateful for?  What am I wishing for?  What hurt or upset me today?  What am I afraid of?  Read Julia Cameron's book, The Artist's Way, for great suggestions on journal writing.   http://www.theartistsway.com

 

Self-Description
Take a sheet of paper. At the top and write two columns labeled positive attributes and negative attributes. Under each heading list your attributes that fit in that category. Include anything that describes who you are as a person from your perspective and from what others have said about you. If you find yourself putting more items on the negative side, then stop! Make sure your positive side keeps up. Remember you may even find that the same attribute goes on both sides of the sheet.

 

When you are finished writing your lists, review them. How do you feel about the description? Are there any attributes you want to change? Which ones are you most proud of? Take time to reflect on the attributes and honor them. Recognize that every person has a combination of positive and negative attributes - that is what brings beautiful diversity to the world. Rejoice in the magical, complex person that you are. Acknowledge and accept others as magical, complex people as well.

 

Without first loving and caring for yourself, you will not have the internal resource to love and care for others. Don't get caught in the trap of believing that self-love and self-care are selfish. They are not. Genuine self-knowledge and self-acceptance increase your ability to support and give to those around you. Remember, you cannot give away what you don't have.

 

How do you show yourself love and appreciation? 

 

Personal Insight

Not too long ago I had a conversation with someone who asked me what I did professionally.  I told her about my coaching practice which led the discussion to all the details of owning a business.  Her exclamation of, "You're quite the business-woman!" brought an immediate response from me of, "I'm not a businesswoman!"  She looked perplexed and I was stunned by my visceral response to her proclamation. Since then I've put a lot of thought into that response.  Where did it come from?  I realize I have a deep-seeded belief that business people and entrepreneurs are only out to get my money.  So if I'm identified in that category, then that must be what others think of me.  Wow!  It's true that we are all bombarded by ads and sales emails that promise true happiness if we will only buy this or that product.  And we've all experienced the let-down that comes with the realization that we just wasted our money when that happiness didn't really come in a box.  This belief has kept me from viewing my coaching practice as a business.  However, I have a business license, legal business name, a place of business, and clients.  If it quacks like a duck....  I've found that a lot of us in the human services field have issues with the business end of our practice, from running the business to taking money from clients for our services.  No wonder I've resisted taking my practice to the next level, from expanding from one-on-one coaching to reaching a larger audience.  It would mean more marketing, more messaging of how coaching "will make your life better."  The fact remains I do want to expand and the only way to do this is through marketing whether it's through word of mouth or the internet.  The fact remains that coaching is my purpose and happens to be what I do for a living wage.  Being able to pay my living and business expenses is how I take care of myself so I may make my skills and experience available to others.  Client feedback and testimonials tell me that what I do is valuable.  In reality, I know countless business owners and entrepreneurs who provide valuable services and products.  I personally know service providers who give much more than what is promised in their marketing.  This is the way I run my practice, I always look for ways to add value to a client's experience of coaching.  The testimonials I receive from my clients is proof that what I have to offer does change lives.

 

I'm choosing to re-look at my belief that the terms "business" and "entrepreneur" are negative.  "Being" integrity in my business and life will be my guiding principle just as it is for countless business owners and entrepreneurs.  I will no longer allow those few who are only in "it" for the money define my false belief that all are only out for the money.

 

My strategy now is to really pay attention to those business people who are truly in service of their consumers.  As I'm changing my view, I'm discovering more and more entrepreneurs who take a spiritual approach, a purpose-filled approach to serving and, by the way, earn a living doing it.  These are my new role models and I am thankful for this personal insight!

  Relevant Reading

   The Art of Extreme Self Care, by Cheryl Richardson

 

The Portable Coach: 28 Surefire Strategies for Business and Personal Success, by Thomas Leonard 

 

   April's Quote

We shall never cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
~T. S. Eliot

 

  

UPCOMING TELECLASS!

The Art of Extreme Self Care based on the book by the same name written by Cheryl Richardson...details next month!  Just in time for Mother's Day!

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Focus Coaching | 9300 Forest Point Circle| Manassas, Virginia 20110
703-409-2287