A baby seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender asks the seal what he would like. The seal responds "Anything but Canadian Club on ice!"
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A group of blondes walk into a bar shouting and cheering "Yeah, 31! Let's hear it for 31!" They order a round of drinks, continuing toasting each other and the number 31.
After about 15 minutes of this the bartender is starting to get really annoyed. "What's the deal about 31?" he asks the girls. One of them turns to him and says "We bought a puzzle that said 2-4 years and we finished it in 31 DAYS!!!"
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WIFE'S DIARY
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner.
I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.
I asked him what was wrong; He said "Nothing". I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving.
I can't explain his behaviour I don't know why he didn't say "I love you, too". When we got home I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.
Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep. I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
HUSBAND'S DIARY
I five putt... ???
who the hell five putts!!?
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Bacon and eggs walk into a bar after a long day of being Bacon and Eggs. They walk up to the bartender and ask for a beer. The bartender takes one look at them and says "Sorry fellas, we don't serve breakfast".
reviewed by D Fraser
Partagas 
