The doctor would watch this guy do this day after day. So the doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing.

So he turned to the mental patient and said "I don't hear anything". The mental patient said "Yeah, I know. It's been like that for months!"

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A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.

She finally overtook him at the checkout and she turned to him and said "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease... it's just that you look so much like my late son".

He answered "That's okay". "I know it's silly, but if you'd call out 'Good bye, mum' as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy".

She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out "Goodbye, mum".

The little old lady waved and smiled back at him.

Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries.

"That comes to $121.85" said the clerk. "What the hell!? How come so much? I only bought 5 items!"

The clerk replied "Yeah, but your mother said you'd be paying for her things too".

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These guys decided to go golfing one day.

They went over to the starter's booth to see how long the wait was before they could get out and play a round.

One of the men went up to the person in charge and asked how long it would be to get a round going on the course.

"That's going to be a problem today, sir," the starter told him. "We're all booked up for the entire day".

"There's nothing available at all?" asked the man. "I'm very sorry, sir" he replied. "Nothing all day".

"Just out of curiosity" said the man "let me ask you something. If Rory McIlroy, Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson and Ernie Els showed up here right now, do you think you'd be able to get them out on the course right away?"

"I'm sure I would, sir" said the starter.

"Well fine then" said the man. "Seeing as they're all playing on the Tour this week, we'll just take their spots".