I don't know which is most disturbing; watching Charlie Sheen's swirling eddy of despair, the media's ugly addiction to it or our collective fascination with someone else's dramatic meltdown (myself included). In the middle of watching the ramblings of an obviously malfunctioning brain, one thing struck me: winning. More specifically, how much we value this as a culture. And in my opinion, it is contributing to a growing problem within our society.
Don't get me wrong, I like winning. I like watching my sports teams win, although when you choose to be loyal to the likes of the Minnesota Vikings and the New York Mets you don't experience victory all that often. Still, winning is exhilarating; whether you experience it personally or vicariously. Except, I think we have taken the concept of winning too far. Winning is something best left on a court or on a field. When winning permeates our approach to life in general it makes us incredibly self-centered.
Now, before you give me that incredulous look, let me explain my reasoning. I think we have become so hell bent on winning that we apply it to our careers, our possessions, our relationships, our parenting, even our Facebook friends. We get caught up on how we rate relative to others in each of these areas; maybe not every area, but certainly many areas. Our competitiveness often negatively impacts how we interact with colleagues, customers, relatives and our friends. As a result we often set up situations that create a winner and a loser. We compare our own success to others in hopes of determining that we have prevailed. In doing so, we subconsciously contribute to an unhealthy desire to be better than others or for others to fall short of us. That is not a sustainable model for a society.
As Lowell George, the leader of the band Little Feat, once sang, "the same dudes you abuse on the way up, you will meet up with on your way down." When we win at the expense of others or revel in their losses we have created an environment where others want retribution. Think about it. When you lose at anything your first desire is to get even. Best two out of three, so to speak. Winners create losers who then want to even the score.
The only sustainable formula for winning is making sure we contribute to others' successes. Instead of asking ourselves, "How do I get ahead?" we should be saying, "How do I help others get ahead?" By doing the latter, we surround ourselves with winners; winners whose success we helped achieve. And, we help our customers win, which makes them more successful and appreciative. That is winning without losers and THAT is the hallmark of a successful society.
So, as Charlie Sheen fights CBS, Republicans fight Democrats and the Joneses fight the Smiths, remember to ask yourself not how do I win at life, but rather how do I help others win in their lives. It is a better long term strategy for contentment.