Dave Mitchell

the Leadership Difference

 

Laugh and Learn

April 2011

Welcome to the Leadership Difference

Greetings!

In this newsletter, Dave shares his thoughts on "winning."  He also shares a bit about a recent session he facilitated with the National Association of REALTORS. Of course, you won't want to miss the section on some great wine picks for this spring.

Winning...or NOT! 

 

I don't know which is most disturbing; watching Charlie Sheen's swirling eddy of despair, the media's ugly addiction to it or our collective fascination with someone else's dramatic meltdown (myself included).  In the middle of watching the ramblings of an obviously malfunctioning brain, one thing struck me:  winning.  More specifically, how much we value this as a culture.  And in my opinion, it is contributing to a growing problem within our society.

Don't get me wrong, I like winning.  I like watching my sports teams win, although when you choose to be loyal to the likes of the Minnesota Vikings and the New York Mets you don't experience victory all that often.  Still, winning is exhilarating; whether you experience it personally or vicariously.  Except, I think we have taken the concept of winning too far.  Winning is something best left on a court or on a field.  When winning permeates our approach to life in general it makes us incredibly self-centered.

Now, before you give me that incredulous look, let me explain my reasoning.  I think we have become so hell bent on winning that we apply it to our careers, our possessions, our relationships, our parenting, even our Facebook friends.  We get caught up on how we rate relative to others in each of these areas; maybe not every area, but certainly many areas.  Our competitiveness often negatively impacts how we interact with colleagues, customers, relatives and our friends.  As a result we often set up situations that create a winner and a loser.  We compare our own success to others in hopes of determining that we have prevailed.  In doing so, we subconsciously contribute to an unhealthy desire to be better than others or for others to fall short of us.  That is not a sustainable model for a society.

As Lowell George, the leader of the band Little Feat, once sang, "the same dudes you abuse on the way up, you will meet up with on your way down."  When we win at the expense of others or revel in their losses we have created an environment where others want retribution.  Think about it.  When you lose at anything your first desire is to get even.  Best two out of three, so to speak.  Winners create losers who then want to even the score.

The only sustainable formula for winning is making sure we contribute to others' successes.  Instead of asking ourselves, "How do I get ahead?" we should be saying, "How do I help others get ahead?"  By doing the latter, we surround ourselves with winners; winners whose success we helped achieve.  And, we help our customers win, which makes them more successful and appreciative. That is winning without losers and THAT is the hallmark of a successful society.

So, as Charlie Sheen fights CBS, Republicans fight Democrats and the Joneses fight the Smiths, remember to ask yourself not how do I win at life, but rather how do I help others win in their lives.  It is a better long term strategy for contentment.

Book 

If you've seen Dave's Live and Learn or Die Stupid Keynote and would love to revisit the concepts he presented, this book is perfect for you.  Maybe there is someone in your life that could benefit from reading about Dave's unique perspective on how to live a happy life.   

 

 

 

Shout Out to NAR

  

I recently had the wonderful opportunity to speak in front of over 500 association executives at the National Association of Realtors AE Institute in Dallas, Texas.  We spent a total of three hours exploring how people make meaning of the world and how that impacts the way they communicate, how they build rapport and how to build better relationships.  The group was fantastic and I was so excited by the enthusiasm in the room.  Considering the challenges that have faced the real estate industry the last several years, I found these professionals to be incredibly impressive.  A special thank you to Brian Paul of the Burbank Association of Realtors for all your support and a killer introduction!

This Spring Think Pink!

As the weather warms, it is time to start buying Rosé wine.  Slowly but surely, our country is beginning to understand that Rosés are a lovely dry wine with a body that falls right between most white wines and most red wines.  Unfortunately, persistent memories of bad White Zinfandel have created a major hurdle to the success of world class Rosé.  This year, grab one of these three fabulous pink wines, head to your porch, experience strawberries and watermelons in a bottle and revel in the fabulousness of Rosé!

 

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the Leadership Difference

www.theleadershipdifference.com

407-929-9521