Dear Julie

My boyfriend and I broke up a year ago. We had been together for 6 years and I thought he was "the one."
He has moved on and is now living with a new woman. I understand that the relationship is truly over.

However, now that I am single, I seem to be attracting married men. At parties, the married men seem to gravitate towards men. I signed up for an online dating service and met two men who were separated, and weren't really available.

What am I doing wrong? Please help.

Sandra

Dear Sandra,

Thank you for your email. It's not uncommon for a man to move on quickly when a relationship ends. The fact that you are not pining or jealous that your ex is in a relationship, while you are not, is a good sign that you are healing and moving forward with your life.

Now let's get to the heart of the matter here. You have become a married-man magnet. Perhaps you are more comfortable talking to unavailable men offline as you know you won't get rejected. The relationship can't go anywhere. Keep in mind this is only a friendship, and probably an acquaintance at best.

The truth is, you probably are not ready for a new relationship yet. I suggest you take it slow and make the most of your online dating site. Don't respond to men whose profiles say "separated." Ask more questions before you get to a first date.  When you become an available woman, you'll become a man magnet (without the married).

Keep me posted and best of luck with your search.

Julie