Frankie Waldo Perez's MindGym

Tip of the Week -  Disconnect to Connect




I love the creative process of writing, the crystallization of a concept, the attempt at cohesive thought, and the molding of words, all in service of connecting and communicating soul to soul.

But prior to this newsletter, I took a vacation and a conscious break from writing and from posting on my Facebook page. I powered off my laptop, phone, and Ipad and without fanfare took my foot off the gas pedal and peeled my white-knuckled hands off of the steering wheel of the imaginary race-car I'd been driving for the past year.


Quitting my hyper-connectivity cold turkey was more difficult that I'd imagined. I fought the urge to check email, write, or browse the Internet every chance I had. It helped that I was away on vacation with nothing but blue waters and a Kindle full of fiction. I knew that I needed to disconnect in order to re-connect with the stillness of my soul and to bring myself back to center.


I'm glad I'm back to my keyboard and to connecting with you. But this time, I'm placing my foot on the gas pedal little by little, remaining mindful to not push it to the metal yet again, and to honor the sweet sound of the stillness within me.


I invite you to join me.


With love, 



P.S. In case you missed them, here are some selected previous newsletters: 

 The Joy of ConnectionTalking to MyselfIn Someone Else's Shoes


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October 16, 2011                                                                                                                Issue #44



I'm in a love-hate relationship. I love and respect technology and the super-fast evolution of a communication rich culture where there is nothing you can't find on Google search, from how to peel a mango to the name of the actor who played Riff in the movie version of West Side Story. With smart phones and computers, information is at our fingertips, literally, and we can interact with high school friends, family members, and friends in any part of the world.


But the access to all of this available communication comes at a cost. We are expected to be connected and to respond via text, email, of Facebook post to our employers and friends 24/7. As long as our phones or computers are powered on so are we. This fascinating connectivity has created an unbalance in our culture where there is less and less stillness and a lack of outer and inner silence. With wireless connections, the very space around us is bombarded with bits of constant communication.


The Internet is a wonderful tool for connection, but it was never meant to replace human contact or touch. At a recent concert, I observed a row of five people seated a couple of rows in front of me. We were waiting for the show to start and all of them were on their smart phones instead of talking with each other. We can observe similar scenes at restaurants, movie theaters, schools, and even in our own homes.


This lack of empty space sometimes results in being hyper-connected but devoid of necessary substance, like eating a cardboard apple instead of its fleshy and juicy counterpart in front of us.


As social animals, our brains hunger for face-to-face interactions with others, our bodies thirst for human touch, and our souls crave depth of connection.   Our spirit requires connection with others as well as with ourselves, which is challenging to accomplish when there is no space or stillness.


So how do we balance and navigate the wonders of technological connectivity with the social needs of our brains and the spiritual needs of our soul?




1. This week, challenge yourself to take a 24-hour technology fast.   As much as possible, disconnect from anything with an on/off button: television, computers, phones, Ipads, Nanos, ITouch, etc.


2. Seek to connect with yourself first. Sit with the stillness of your soul and listen to the whispers of your heart. Meditate, smile, feel, cry, laugh, breathe, and visit with yourself as with an old and dear friend whom you haven't seen in a long time. Allow yourself to enjoy and relish your own company and to feel connected to this present moment.


3. Then, seek to connect with others face-to-face. Re-acquaint yourself with your loved ones over a cup of coffee, or bring out the board games; nothing compares to heartfelt human interaction and loving connection.


4. From now on, commit to people over technology. Use technology to connect with others when that is your only alternative. If there is someone in front of you, put the gizmo down and begin by asking, "How are you?"


5.  For inspiration, check out this video from Thailand:  

Cool Thai ad - Disconnect to connect with Eng sub
Cool Thai ad - Disconnect to connect with Eng sub


© Frankie Waldo Perez, MindGym, LLC


"Within you there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself. 

- Hermann Hesse






















"Stress is basically a disconnection from the earth, a forgetting of the breath."

- Natalie Goldberg





















"When you have once seen the glow of happiness on the face of a beloved person, you know that a man can have no vocation but to awaken that light on the faces surrounding him. In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."

- Rachel Naomi Remen


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Frankie Waldo Pérez, LMFT, is the founder of MindGym, LLC, a psycho-educational service offering counseling and/or coaching to individuals, couples, and groups.

He is a writer, psychotherapist and Franklin Covey Certified Personal Life Coach. His approach is ecclectic, blending cinematherapy, psycho-spiritual, cognitive, Imago, and Emotionally Focused approaches.

He also presents workshops on Couples Communication, Dating, Mindfulness Meditation & Soul-Centered Psychotherapy, Sports Related Communication Excellence, and Peak Performance using Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Time Line Therapy

He may be reached by phone at:  (214) 289-7995
Frankie Waldo Perez, LMFT

©  MindGym, LLC; 2011