"We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. " - Paul, in I Corinthians 13:12a
The other day someone took their first finger and thumb and, holding them up and together in such a way as to make a little square of about a half inch, said that because this is all we see, through a very little glass that at best is clouded, we have no right to be judgmental of other people, since we know so little of where they are coming from, what their lives have been like, and therefore why they have made the choices they have.
Perhaps that also applies to ourselves, that we have no right to be judgmental towards ourselves, since we know so little of where we are actually coming from, what all has impacted our lives, and where we are really at in the present. Is that possible?
Paul, in the context of the quote above, is talking about the supremacy of love and that while we can anticipate fully knowing and being known, we can't have that now. All we get are glimpses of that wonder, of really knowing. It's interesting that Paul connects, to each other, knowing and loving well.
Sometimes I have the awful experience of thinking I see clearly. Of looking through the glass and seeing all there is to see. The reason that is awful is that if I relate to others out of that belief, I shower them with ignorance as I bask in my own tub of self-righteousness.. Of course if they don't see much themselves and are really lost and are desperate for direction, they just might believe I see clearly! That's why it is awful.
Sometimes I find the idea that I see so little reassuring. Yesterday morning one of the fellas in our men's group told us about a town in Mexico where all 38 of the police force had resigned because two or three of their number had been beheaded by those in drug cartels. What must the people in that town feel with no protection at all? What about the whole country of Mexico?
We went on to talk about other troublesome realities - about the inability of the parties of government to truly work together, seemingly doing everything they can to discredit the other side in the hopes of getting their agenda across. I know it is so much better than the situation in some other countries, but it still hurts! By the time I left the meeting and went to my office, I was feeling pretty sad and feeling pretty helpless to make any difference in this mess. I just wanted to go away.
And I am aware of other situations where there seems to be no healing resolution, where, naturally speaking, there is no hope.
But yesterday morning, I was given grace to be able to bring the grief in my heart to God, to fall on his mercy, to recognize that I see very little, to become willing to be about the little I can be about, trusting that as Reinhold Niebuhr says in the Serenity Prayer:
"trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next"
But I wish I were graced this quickly every time I begin to lose perspective, to be brought to this point of surrender! So, one question we can ask ourselves when we begin to believe all is dark and stressful and hopeless, is "What might it be that I am not seeing?" This question is a sign of humility and of taking our place as just a little container of the inexpressible glory of God, but a container nonetheless, with something in us that is light and responsive to Light that overcomes darkness. It's ok. Be small. You don't need to know anything more than you know right now. The Light is within you. Let your despair lead you to your own powerlessness and openness to the Light within you giving you a way to live. You can't make anything happen, but you can let yourself be in a place where something does.
"God, this thing of needing to be as a child, so vulnerable and helpless and dependent, isn't really very appealing to me as an adult. Seems the world needs something strong and powerful to save it. But when I start thinking that way, help me to remember what you seemed to believe about love and light overcoming apathy and darkness . . . May it be so for me, Lord Jesus."
I work with individuals, couples, and families to identify the ways of life and death in their lives and help uncover the motivation to choose that which leads to life, whether it be through counseling or spiritual direction. - Sheldon Swartz, MA/LMFT
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