There is something about light that attracts us, that draws out from us the desire to be connected to what is warm and visible.  I would get a little suspicious of someone who said they prefer the darkness to light, unless its because they believe there are treasures in the dark, which there often are!  Other times people prefer the dark because it matches their mood, they are hiding something, etc.  But for the most part we like the light, probably because we can see better (duh) and usually the ability to see well is important to us.

This season would be a good one again to think in terms of inviting Jesus into the dark places in our lives.  After all, He wasn't born in this world because it was such a bright wonderful place to be!   It was more because it was dark and He thought He could help.  (It didn't appear to be much help right away, in fact it got really dark for several hours when He was on the cross. (Matthew 27:45)) 

I confess that I live with more darkness than I would like.  Sometimes it takes the form of mild depression.  No, it's not from the people I talk with.  It's from within me.  I have always been my biggest problem and I suspect that will always be true!  

Do I know what it is to see light?  You bet!  Sometimes I get glimpses of light that are just too, too wonderful - one of those times being when I am in the presence of a person who is really getting it that he/she is loved by God. (And sometimes I am that person.) Nothing is brighter, warmer, more inviting, more compelling. That feels like so sacred ground.  (I know, I am 57, too old to use "so" in such a way but I couldn't help it!)

But those are partly the reasons why I am not happier with darkness - I have seen the light and I want more!  I have a big problem though - I cannot create light.

I think I have seen a whole lot more light by going through darkness than I ever have by seeking light.  This I believe: Light is on the other side of darkness, and we need to go through the darkness for the light to appear.

Darkness takes a particular way of being in you and I.  Sometimes it is chronic resentment and bitterness (which can be camouflaged very well for awhile by a very pleasant niceness.)  Sometimes it is a general feeling of worthlessness, or unloveability, or incompetence.   Sometimes it is the "second life" that goes on behind the scenes, maintained by lies and diligent hiding.   Sometimes it is anxiety, eating away at one's insides.   Sometimes it is fantasies that one may be appalled to admit, or, worse yet, proud to admit.  Sometimes it may be a pervasive feeling of deadness.

Whatever it may be for us, no place of darkness is surprising to God.  God of course knows what is there all the time and what it is doing to us.  And God doesn't just stand back and watch.  God does everything he can short of violating our will to increase our desire to have light penetrate the darkness and take away it's power over us.  He comes our way (the Incarnation), speaks to us, confronts us, invites us to another way of living - everything He did and does in Jesus.  And if that wasn't enough, He leaves, so He can send his Spirit to indwell us so that we have the Light within us, shedding light into our inner world and shedding light on our outer world.

And sometimes we start to get it, and sometimes we don't.  Sometimes we think the darkness is actually light. Sometimes we think we have to live with the darkness forever, that there is no hope. Sometimes we think we deserve to live in the dark because of our sins.  Sometimes we are afraid of living in the light, thinking the darkness is safer.  Whatever the reasons God seeks to bring us to points of realization that we cannot get rid of the dark.  We can only become willing to let down our guard and let Christ into it.  And we live with the results.