"You hem me in - behind and before . . ."  David, in Psalm 139:5a


We don't usually think of being "hemmed in" as a good thing.   Being hemmed in is about being forced to be in a place that feels restrictive, where there is lack of freedom to move, where the forces around us are more powerful than the forces within.  However uncomfortable this can be, whether it is love we are being "cornered" by or forces that seem to be out to get us, being hemmed in can have a freeing effect. 

Most of us are in places at times that we would like to get out of, whether that be places of physical suffering, social suffering, emotional suffering, or spiritual suffering.  We are "hemmed in" by forces outside of our control.  It seems that freedom is simply not possible until we get out of our place of discomfort. 

Recently I had the privilege of working with someone who felt so "hemmed in" by the fact that she was by far taking most of the responsibility to take care of things at home while her husband drank and was insulting to her that she and the children left for a weekend.  She had to get out. 

After the weekend was over she went back home, and after meeting with her once for some reason she got in touch with her value as a person and she simply began living in that reality.  Something had changed on the inside.  She let go of looking for value from her husband and unapologetically stood
up for herself.  That resulted in some real changes in how she was relating to her husband, which, of course, put him in the position of having new respect for her.  He is sensing a new strength and freedom in her to be herself, this healthy kind of resolved, settled, relaxed "you won't be messing with me anymore."

Same circumstances, new inner freedom. 

As we get wiser we become more convinced that it is not what's going on around or outside of us that is our biggest problem.  It's what is going on inside us that determines whether or not we are free to live in expansive space.  Spirit has no physical restrictions.  Spirit is free no matter where he/she is. 

If that is true, then we can use those times we feel" hemmed in" by life in some way to go deeper into the Life of the Spirit, seeking the freedom to live more fully, graciously, and generously.  We experience to a greater degree our oneness with God and with others.

"God, I long for the vision that allows me to consider the times of feeling hemmed in as an invitation to something richer and deeper and more freeing, so that I love You and others more richly and deeply.  Would you help?  Thanks.  Amen"

 I work with individuals, couples, and families to identify the ways of life and death in their lives and help uncover the motivation to choose that which leads to life, whether it be through counseling or spiritual direction.  - Sheldon Swartz, MA/LMFT