True, people who seem more interested in taking than giving lose a blessing and turn others off, perhaps partly because if one needs to be continually taking from others it is a sign of personal discontentment and they create the feeling that others owe them something.  Usually drives others away (unless others are desperate to feel needed) or at least makes it very difficult to continue giving cheerfully.

However, we've probably all gladly and freely given someone something, but instead of simply giving us a sincere "thank you," they act like this is a competitive game and now you are ahead and in order to even things out they are going to have to give something back.

What happens to our joy in giving?  It is diminished, of course.  Because part of the joy of giving is the joy of seeing it received, with gratefulness and no sense of now being in debt.

That's hard.  I am not good at it.  It's hard to believe others are giving freely and not at some level keeping track of how much I am giving back.  Hmmm.  Maybe it's also hard for me to give freely without expecting something back??

I don't like to see myself as someone who needs to be loved by being given to.  I like to think I am beyond all that, that I am no longer a normal human being. :)  After all, isn't it a reflection on my adequacy as a person if I need to be given to?  But there are times when I am able to receive from someone and simply express gratefulness, and I know that when I do that there are two people enjoying the moment!

So, that's the life exercise for today.  When someone does something for you, however small, look them in the eye and say a simple, "Thank you." 

And when you do something for others today, think of how much you long for them to just receive it freely, look you in the eye, and say "Thank you." 

Such simple ways to spread joy.

"Jesus, I am in deep doodoo if your giving to me obligates me to give to you.  No way I can pay back what I have been given, and you don't expect me to.  You do long for me to have some awareness of how good you are and to respond in genuine gratefulness by giving to others, and gladly accepting what they give to me.  Maybe I can actually do that a little today.  I sure hope so.  Amen, so be it."

I work with individuals, couples, and families to identify the ways of life and death in their lives and help uncover the motivation to choose that which leads to life, whether it be through counseling or spiritual direction.  - Sheldon Swartz, MA/LMFT