A Few Thoughts From Sheldon Swartz

I've been reading through the book of John and came across one of my favorite stories - Jesus' encounter with the Samaritan woman at the well. In that story, after some confusing conversation with Jesus, she goes back to her village and says to them, "Come see a man who told me everything I ever did."

Now come on. Either she hadn't done much, or they were at the well for days, or she was a drama queen, because there is no way that statement could be true.

Of course it could not be true because the disciples couldn't have been gone long enough for him to tell her everything she had ever done.

But, in another sense, could it be true?

Poor woman didn't have a chance. She had no idea what Jesus was doing with her. What we know is that when she leaves him and goes back to her village she wanted them all to meet him because she said that he had told her everything she ever did and she wondered if he was the Messiah. They could well have thought, 'Yeah right. Another guy. We've heard your stories before. We've heard your excuses before.. . . But it is a little strange that she would ask us to meet him. Usually she's hiding this sort of thing. Hmmm. She even seems a little different, almost like she feels innocent. What's going on?"

Well, what was going on was that Jesus had told her about herself and she felt known in a way that touched her deeply and she wanted others to have the experience she had had. She also wanted help to discern if Jesus was the Messiah, since He seemed to know so much about her and God, and since he even admitted to being the Christ. This could be good news!

Somehow I think this woman had been caught off guard and felt uncomfortably exposed. She even tried to change the subject when Jesus starts messing with her personal life. Jesus goes right along with her change of subject and engages her in the discussion about the coming Messiah.

But when she goes home her first statement is not theological - it is personal. "He told me everything I ever did." Why didn't she say, "He told me some things about myself that there is no way He could have ever known unless he had special powers"? No, it's "He told me everything I ever did."

I wonder if she said what she did because somehow in Jesus' interaction with her - asking her for a drink, offering her living water, bringing up the "men" thing - she felt like she had been seen through, that he had taken a trip around inside of her, saw everything there, and was not dismayed, and the effect was as powerful as if he actually had mentioned in a compassionate way everything she had ever done wrong.

We know how wonderful it feels when someone speaks exactly what is going on inside us, when we are exposed and loved at the same time. It's a wonderful experience. Tears of gratefulness still come to my eyes when I think of my experience many years ago of being on the "hot seat" in the counseling program and Dan Allender (prof) responding to something I was sharing (I don't remember what) about which
I felt a lot of shame. It was like he saw through me to the deep pain connected with my shame and was absolutely and compassionately accepting. I loved him, and for maybe the first time in my life, actually loved myself. I felt known and clean and I will never forget it. It's still amazing to me! That was good news!

"Lord Jesus, deep down I long to be seen and known as I am and that any fear or shame that lurks there would be transformed by the power of your honest exposure and profound acceptance. And God, as you give me opportunities to share the gift of Your grace to others, may I take those, because if this good can get passed on in some way I will be presently and eternally grateful. Amen"

I work with individuals, couples, and families to identify the ways of life and death in their lives and help uncover the motivation to choose that which leads to life, whether it be through counseling or spiritual direction. - Sheldon Swartz, MA/LMFT