So does that mean that one who has been forgiven much loves much? That seems to be the point in the context of this passage. This is the story of the sinful woman who showed up where Jesus was in a Pharisee's house and unashamedly shed tears on Jesus' feet, wiped them with her hair, and annointed them with expensive perfume. Interesting what Jesus observed: "Her many sins have been forgiven, for she loved much."
Seems he was saying that the evidence showed that she already had experienced forgiveness - one could not love the way she did without having had a rich experience of forgiveness. Jesus does say to her, "Your sins are fogiven" but it's almost as if she could have said in response, "I know, I know! Thank you!" By the time He says that to her she is already living in that forgiveness, demonstrated by her love.
I confess that I am a religious addict, recovering in an agonizingly slow fashion! I "know" that I am forgiven, but most of the time I'm afraid that I live as though my loveability still has to do with my performance - I just don't get the truth in that deep, all-pervasive, long-lasting sense that I long for.
I was reading this morning from I John where it says "God is light. In him there is no darkness at all." Everything is exposed, clean and bright. For some unknown reason it struck me that unforgiveness is dark and that there is no such thing in God. And if it is in me it isn't because God wants it there. There is no virtue in holding anything against myself. If I am, I am doing it all by myself - God is not helping.
So, here's how my thoughts went: "I need to accept the reality that there is no mistake or shortcoming that I need to or can make up for from the past. Every sin in every moment previous to this moment is forgiven (recognized as wrong and consciously forgiven) by my God, in Christ." I am freed from the weight of "viewing life as demand, as oughtness, as duty, as obligation, and from the unspeakable pressure of trying to meet the demand." (Gordon Cosby) Instead, the invitation is to receive life as "'gift', as grace, as feast, as banquet."
I suppose one could say that until one knows, deep down, that one is forgiven of everything one could rightfully be condemned for - past, present, and future - one is obsessed with one's self - in getting it right, in justifying oneself, in becoming good enough to deserve forgiveness and love. :-)
Cosby adds, "One is freed from the unconscious but very constant attempt to make atonement for his (her) inability to live up to the demands which press in on him (her)." We all know we are not faifhful in living up to God's greatest commandments (loving God, loving others) and instead of reassuring ourselves by trying to make ourselves believe we are doing "good enough," we get to accept the truth that we are not good enough, that we never will be, that we can't be, and in order to be free to live a life of love, we need to be forgiven.
The deeper the depths we are willing to face our own sinfulness (how far we fall short), the more precious and life-giving forgiveness becomes. I think if I had only 5 minutes to relate to either one who knows he has sinned greatly and been completely forgiven, and one who does not have that awareness (having been a "good" person), I would take that 5 minutes to relate to the former. I think I'd feel more loved. I still think that's why Jesus loved the "sinners" - he knew they were much more likely to benefit by exposure to truth and grace, because they knew they were sinners - no question about that.
I do believe that nurturing a sense of self-righteousness is the greatest way one can fall short of God's commands. But, however ugly that is - and it is terribly ugly - it is forgiveable.
If I am truly forgiven today - if I recognize my need for it, if I fully receive it - how will I live? If I am free of the burden of needing to make up for anything in the past or prove anything now, how would I live today? That's my invitational question to myself. And to you, if you want it!
