It's hard for me to think of God as longing for something.  To me longing implies lack, and for the life of me I cannot conceive of God as lacking anything.  Doesn't God feel whole within himself?  Why would God want more than He's got already?

But Scripture clearly portrays God as wanting something he does not have and cannot have without our consent, and that is our heartfelt love, trust, and service.  It was the relational risk God took in creating human beings made in his image - that He would be rejected.  Sure enough - you know what happened.  Unless we are going to make God into something other than a relational God, that had to hurt, really bad. 

It would be a bit like not only being rejected by a girl/boyfriend that one loves, but knowing beyond a shadow of doubt that you are absolutely the best and only person for him/her, i.e., that there is no one else who can come close to doing for them what you can.  Then the pain is not only about the loss of relationship.  It's also about the loss of good that the other would experience because of being out of relationship with you.

Now if you don't love people, no problem.  Let 'em suffer.  More power to 'em.  Didn't need 'em anyway.  But no, God keeps longing, even sacrificing Himself in order to make restored relationship possible.  To be honest, I don't think I care that much . . .

It is very difficult to keep desires in the desires category and not move them over into the expectations category, where we begin to think we are entitled to what we want and if we don't get it someone needs to pay.  Andy Stanley illustrates this well in his DVD iMarriage by using two boxes and demonstrating how easily in marriage legitimate desires move from the desires box into the expectations box. Like, "I want you to take care of us financially" can move to "You owe it to me to take care of us financially."  "I want to have sex with you" can move to "You owe it to me to have sex with me." And he points out that this always destroys the freedom and intimacy in the relationship and always will, until we let the desires become simply that again, desires that are voiced, perhaps with great passion, that don't have to be fulfilled.  The only truly loving response to the question, "What does my spouse owe me?" is "Absolutely nothing."

Well, much easier said than done, of course.  It's easier to do one, two, or all of the following:  1) only ask if I believe I will receive, 2) desire/ask in such a way that the other feels obligated to fulfill, with some sort of payback if they don't, and 3) kill the desire.  "If I can't have, I won't want."  I think I could give some trainings on how to do all three, just from experience!

The other option is to desire as much as one desires, ask for exactly what you want, and be willing to surrender to whatever happens.  Sounds painful, but also enlivening, don't you think?  Then there is mystery and curiosity, and wonder ,i.e., "I wonder how things are going to turn out?"

Maybe the minimum I could do today is think of what I am taking for granted in my relationships - my marriage, my kids, my friends, my fellow workers, my pastor, etc., and let that person(s) know how much I appreciate what they do or who they are to me.  Any maybe I would like to let a person or two off the hook of my expectations so that love and freedom is possible in the relationship.   Or maybe I am not ready to do that and want them on the hook awhile longer!

"God there's something freeing about thinking that no one owes me anything, maybe because it is true.  I long for that kind of freedom in my relationships - to give, wanting/asking but not expecting return, and to receive without feeling indebted. Use the events of my life to help me learn this so that I move a little closer to the way You love.  Amen"

I work with individuals, couples, and families to identify the ways of life and death in their lives and help uncover the motivation to choose that which leads to life, whether it be through counseling or spiritual direction.  - Sheldon Swartz, MA/LMFT