As I was driving from my office to the church we go to the other day to help with a skit for Summer Bible School I was aware of how feeble I felt in spirit and was having a little chat with God about that.  It felt like my spirit had absolutely no strength, no ability to stand up and fight for anything and that there was nothing I could do about it. It wasn't triggered by anything in particular that I know of - it was just one of those times when I felt totally depleted in spirit.  I was also aware that I was judging myself as inadequate, wondering what was wrong with me, wondering where my passion went, and feeling responsible for how I was being, etc.

Then the words came to me, from somewhere, "Rest in Me."  Who was that?  Where did that come from?  My wishful thinking?  The Spirit of God?  I don't know.  I still don't know.

What I do know is that that invitation was a wonderful combination of grace and truth.   I accepted the invitation, let myself down into the strong arms of Life, and let my spirit/myself rest there.  I stopped holding on.  I let myself be.  It was exactly the opposite of what the judge in me thought I needed.  The judge thought I needed a swift kick in the pants and a good chewing out for being the way I was.  Apparently he doesn't know everything about what is needed!

Over the next number of hours the words stuck with me and, like a computer program running in the background, helped me stay connected to the place of rest.  Everything was not ok, but something was ok that had not been.  I began to feel stronger, nurtured by the place of rest.

I felt graced.  As Henry Cloud says in Changes that Heal, "Grace is the first ingredient necessary for growing up in the image of God.  Grace is unbroken, uninterrupted, unearned, accepting relationship."   I felt it - undeserved and wonderful. 

I also experienced the effects of something else - truth.  As Henry says, "Truth is the second ingredient necessary for growing up in the image of God.  Truth is what is real; it describes how things really are.  As grace is the relational aspect of God's character, truth is the structural aspect of his character.  Truth is the skeleton life hangs upon . . . "
I heard the truth - there is a place of Rest for the Soul (and I am not it!)

Jesus said it's the Truth that makes us free.  He didn't say grace makes us free.  Could that be because it doesn't?  An experience of grace often helps people be open to new truth that then frees them, when embraced.  And an experience of being "truthed" often helps people open up to grace, which then relaxes them and enables them to live the truth with spirit freedom.  Hmmm . . .  I don't know if I even followed that!

No wonder people were drawn to Jesus, the one full of both. He spoke the Truth in Love and the needy hungry people came to him to receive what He had to offer.  Some other kinds of people came, too, but it wasn't to receive what He had to offer.  It was to shut it down, kill it.  It was too threatening to the system that was designed to control things.

"Lord Jesus, while I need grace and truth, they also threaten me, undercutting the false structures designed to protect and control my life.  Help me to receive Your grace and Truth, so that I am free to extend it as a gift to others.  Amen"

I work with individuals, couples, and families to identify the ways of life and death in their lives and help uncover the motivation to choose that which leads to life, whether it be through counseling or spiritual direction.  - Sheldon Swartz, MA/LMFT