Ok, so which is it?  Am I bad at the core (heart) and need that badness supernaturally replaced with good, or is there something very good at the core and I need to recognize and guard against that which diminishes or hides that goodness?  Which we believe can make a difference in how we live.

Some of us have a problem believing in our hearts that God delights in us just because we are his precious children that resemble him and not for any other reason.  We may still be working to be delighted in because we just can't receive the good news that we are delighted in as we are, brokenness and all.  We may believe we are bad, wanting desperately to be loved but never feeling like we deserve it, never feeling "forgiveable."

I remember some time back reading the account of a woman who always felt her father valued her just as much as her brothers.  It would have never occurred to her that she was in any way inferior to them just because she was female.  Her gifts were affirmed and she was valued for who she was.  She felt acceptable. 

Then she wrote about the confusion she felt when she began to be exposed to some Bible-believing Christians in churches who seemed to believe that men were somehow on a higher plane than women.  Even the women seemed to believe it.  Somehow it seemed that the men's gifts and viewpoints held a little more value in the community than that of the women's.  What intrigued me about this was how this puzzled her - she simply had no reference point to feeling inferior to men - it just wouldn't have occurred to her to think that way!  She was indeed blessed!  She related as though she was acceptable rather than as though she wasn't.  I suspect that kind of innocence was delightful.

This reminds me of something Byron Katie said in one of her books, may have been Loving What Is, that demonstrates this spirit, "When I walk into a room I know everyone there loves me.  I just don't expect them to realize it yet."  I love it!  Paraphrased she might be saying "I love that I am acceptable, but it's ok if you don't know that yet and I'm not going to try to prove it to you.  I'll just let you enjoy me as I am and if this touches your desire to enjoy yourself as you are and deal with whatever stands in the way of that, I will be even more blessed."  This is not arrogance.  It is the freedom to live in a wonderful state of grace and love, and releasing others to believe and relate however they want to, hoping that love and truth has its way.  How much better would this world be if we all believed and lived that?

Part of the delight I get to experience as I engage with people at their points of pain and hope is when they begin to truly value parts of themselves from which they had cut themselves off because they believed they were bad.  I see God's saving work as being about restoring the glory of the image of God in humans that had been lost or badly tarnished by the Fall.  It's the work we all get to be engaged in - and it is a messy, glorious work. In his book The Wounded Heart: Hope for Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse Dan Allender quotes Francis Schaeffer as saying, "Man [mankind] is a glorious ruin." (p. 42) The context is picturesque enough to quote:

"Man, as Francis Schaeffer has put it, is a glorious ruin, a stately castle, intricately and masterfully constructed by the hand of an Artisan who designed His work with no thought of expense or practicality. . . The castle, however, was giving a life of its own, capable of rearranging itself.  When man (speaking of both men and women) took it on himself to be as God, he ruined everything.  Crumbling walls, rotten wood, and overgrown gardens: the decay became so extensive taht only one with the eyes of a craftsman could see the structural beauty that remained underneath the overgrown foliage and overthrown walls.  Nevertheless, it has glory in its form and composition.  Man is an amalgation of dignity and depravity, a glorious ruin."

So, the question is, when I look in the mirror, when I look at others, can I see the splender of the castle and be awed? Can I also see the damage and grieve?  Am I willing to enter the castle and join Jesus who is already there in the mess, waiting for me to join Him in his work of restoring beauty and dignity to what was badly marred by others and myself?

That was rather long. You got this far?  Congratulations!

"God, it's spring, about time to get out into our garden and do some work.  It looks a mess - wet, covered with soaked leaves, food scraps, sticks, etc.  But I know the potential for beauty and productivity is there, under the mess.  We will by faith till and plant, let the beauty emerge, enjoy it, eat of the fruit and say, 'That was very good!'  Will you help me to 'get' what this has to do with my life?  Thanks.  Amen"

Sheldon Swartz, M.A, LMFT works with individuals, couples, and families to identify the ways of life and death in their lives and help uncover the motivation to choose that which leads to life, whether it be through counseling or spiritual direction.