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Moving Towards Freedom in 2009
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Purpose
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The purpose of these email reflections is to stimulate the God-given longing we all have for that which is truly life-giving, and to encourage sacrificing the lesser, more immediate "satisfactions" for the greater, in all areas of life, so that one may Live and share that Life with others!
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Contact information
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Contact Email
Website
Phone: (574) 533-2812
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Hello ,
As 2009 dawns I am aware of wanting to become more fully free. Belief systems have such power to pen me in without me even knowing it, so I'm trying to let my desire for freedom move me to question my belief systems. So, I'm scared . . . and hopeful. - Sheldon Swartz
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Moving Toward Freedom in 2009
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 "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." - Paul (II Corinthians 3:17)
Our four children, their spouses, and the four grandchildren are coming for our Christmas get-together this New Year's weekend. I so want to enjoy the time; to enjoy each person that will be there, including myself; to enjoy each moment. I want to be free to take in the good, let the bad roll through me, and absorb every bit of legitimate pleasure in these times. I can taste the desire for this sort of freedom.
I will not be as free as I long to be and as I believe my good God longs for me to be. That's a little sad, you know, to miss out on legitimate pleasure. What's with me?
Well, I still have some hangups, some false beliefs that when believed diminish the freedom I experience during these times. One of those beliefs is "I am a good husband and father. I must make this be a good time for all." Ooo . . . that's a binder.
Here's another: "Everything must go well (meaning there must be no upset between anyone and anyone else.)" Ay yie . . . I can feel my free space shrinking fast.
Yet another: "It's essential that I feel good during the whole time together." Whoa . . . I'm down to just a little living space.
And here's the one that wipes out all freedom that may be left: "I must be what everyone would want a husband, father, and grandfather to be." I'm gone. There's nothing left to do but pretend and perform, and hope it's over soon, real soon.
Now, if I don't have a good (meaningful) time, who is responsible? Right. Velma. She's the one who does the most to get things together for this, so that leaves a lot that can be screwed up!
Ok, enough of that. Why does it always need to come back to me? Is it really true that the way I am is because of my beliefs and my ways of living them out, not because of anyone else? Ouch. I'm not sure I want to be that responsible for my life! I'm not sure I want to pay that price for my freedom!
I've been challenged recently to contrast the concerns of ego and the concerns of spirit. What does ego care about? What does spirit care about? After looking at the list I am quite sure I want to move away from ego concerns towards spirit life, because all the ego does is keep me bound up, not free to be myself. And that is a blessing to exactly nobody.
So, more next week on the ego/spirit contrast. By the way, I'm doing a two hour seminar Tuesday evening, January 13 here in Goshen entitled Moving Toward Freedom in 2009 where I'm going to explore this stuff. So if you are from this area and want the info, just reply to this email and let me know and I'll get it to you.
"God, I confess I often settle for the security of restrictions rather than risk the danger and wonder of freedom. I'm sure glad you didn't do that, and I'm also glad when I see others not doing that - though I confess it makes me a uncomfortable (as anything really good does, right?) Anyway, would you help me to recognize the beliefs I hold onto to keep myself small and 'secure' so that I can discard them for the truth if I want to? I would be grateful . . . I think. Amen"
P.S. "God I sure hope you know what to do with my ambivalence about this!"
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