"Do to others as you would have them do to you"  - Luke 6:31

It's such a simple reference point for how to relate to others and yet so difficult to practice.  One could paraphrase this guideline: "One of the most loving ways to relate to others is to, as best you can, put yourself in their shoes and then relate to them as you would want to be related to."

This is especially helpful when there is conflict in relationships.

You know what the problem with this is?  It takes too much time and work!  If I follow that guideline I have to check those urges to respond or react impulsively or compulsively - in other words, with no thought.  I can't follow this guideline unless I get to know you and your circumstances.  How can I know how I would want to be treated if I don't have an idea of what it's like to be living your life?

What does it mean to practice this:

• when someone is coming down hard on us, harder than we "deserve"?
• when someone won't talk, won't open up to us?
• when someone is struggling to make ends meet?
• when someone is tailgating us?
• when someone always seems to have a chip on their shoulder?
• when someone is trying to get us to do something we don't want to do
• when someone else won't do what I believe is very important to do?
• when the children won't listen to me?
• when I found out that my spouse has been unfaithful to me?
• when someone wants time from me when I don't have any to give?

Obviously there's no quick obvious answer to any of these.  I don't think learning to love was intended to be quick and easy but there is something satisfying about seeking the way of love in all circumstances and at least occasionally finding it! 

"Lover of my soul, I often judge others instead of stopping to think about what they may be experiencing and because of that I miss openings for life-giving impact.  Help me to be aware of how I like to be treated and give out of that awareness to others.  Amen"