Share Your Story!
For our July issue, we would love to give you the opportunity to tell your story of healing, or other good things that have happened in your life. God brings about many good things even in the most terrible circumstances and many of you have already seen good things come out of the bad. We'll call these stories, "Praise Reports." We would love to hear your Praise Report. Send your 1,000 word or less story to newsletter@divorcedcatholic.com.
|
We asked and you responded!
Our website poll's recent question was "Would you consider forgiving your ex-spouse?"
Click here to find out the results.
|
Our Prayers for You...
For all our readers:
we will be praying the novena to Padre Pio for your welfare,
consolation and all your intentions. Please pray for us, too.
Efficacious Novena To
The Sacred Heart Of Jesus
(This novena prayer was recited every day by Padre Pio for all those who asked his prayers)
O my Jesus, You have said,
'Truly I say to you, ask
and it will be given you,
seek and you will find,
knock and it will be
opened to you.'
Behold, I knock, I seek,
and I ask for the grace of
(state your intention, then say)
Our Father...
Hail Mary...
Glory be to the Father...
Sacred Heart of Jesus,
I place all my trust in you.
O my Jesus, You have said,
'Truly I say to you, if you ask
anything of the Father in my name, he will give it to you.'
Behold, in Your name,
I ask the Father for the grace of
(state your intention, then say)
Our Father...
Hail Mary...
Glory be to the Father...
Sacred Heart of Jesus,
I place all my trust in you.
O my Jesus, You have said,
"Truly I say to you,
heaven and earth will pass away but my words will not pass away."
Encouraged by Your
infallible words, I now ask
for the grace of...
(state your intention, then say)
Our Father...
Hail Mary...
Glory be to the Father...
Sacred Heart of Jesus,
I place all my trust in you.
O Sacred Heart of Jesus,
for whom it is impossible
not to have compassion
on the afflicted,
have pity on us poor sinners
and grant us the grace which we
ask of You, through the Sorrowful and Immaculate heart of Mary, Your tender mother and ours.
Hail, Holy Queen,
Mother of mercy,
our life, our sweetness,
and our hope!
To thee do we cry,
poor banished children of Eve.
To thee do we send up our
sighs, mournings and weepings
in the valley of tears.
Turn, then, most gracious advocate, thine eyes of mercy
toward us, and after this,
our exile, show unto us the
Blessed Fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
O Clement, O Loving,
O Sweet Virgin Mary!
Pray for us, O holy Mother of God,
that we may be made worthy
of the promises of Christ. Amen.
St. Joseph, foster father of Jesus, pray for us.
|
|
|
|
"Choosing To Forgive" An Interfaith Religion Special To Air Sunday, June 8, On The Cbs Network
WASHINGTON - Choosing to Forgive, an interfaith religion
special on the meaning and practice of forgiveness, will be broadcast
Sunday, June 8 on the CBS Television Network. For exact airing time
check your local station.
Choosing to Forgive presents the idea of forgiveness from both a
religious and a scientific point of view. Several major faiths teach we
must forgive those who do us wrong. In recent years, the subject has
interested psychologists who have studied it as a potentially effective
means of getting past wrongs and injustices.
This special presentation is produced in cooperation with the
Interfaith Broadcasting Commission (IBC), including the National
Council of Churches, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops
(USCCB), a consortium of Jewish organizations and the Islamic Society
of North America.
Read more here.
|
| _______________________________________________________ |
A Great Article on Forgiveness!
Forgive Us Our Trespasses
by: Marcellino D'Ambrosio, Ph.D., Catholic Author and Speaker
Just about everyone can recite the Lord's Prayer from memory.That's precisely the problem, though.We often rattle it off without really thinking about what we are saying.
"Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." Whenever we pray this line, we are asking God to forgive us exactly in the same way as we forgive those who hurt us.In other words, if we are harboring un-forgiveness in our hearts as we say this prayer, we are calling a curse down upon ourselves.
Read more here...
|
| _______________________________________________________ |
By Lisa Duffy
I will never forget this story my friend Laurie told me about her divorce experience:
I actually began going to a divorce support group a month before my husband left me. I knew he would soon announce his decision to leave and I wanted to see what I had to look forward to, so I found a support group at a local church and began attending. There was this one woman who spoke each week, and she was very angry. Her comments were terribly bitter, but what I remember most about her was her face. She had so many wrinkles and her features were pinched with tension. Her small eyes constantly squinted with pain and resentment. I remember observing her closely, thinking to myself, "I don't ever want to look like that!" And so after my husband finally left me I had to find a way to suffer the loss of my marriage without carrying that burden of bitterness on my shoulder. This was no easy task, for my husband had been having an affair and in the end, he left me for that woman. The pit of my anger seemed to have no bottom. But it was my faith that carried me through that terrible time, and I believed that God would help me if I stayed as close to Him as I could. So I did, and through it all I realized that forgiving my husband was going to be a major key to my being able to get through this terrible pain. That became a turning point for me, and I worked on forgiveness throughout the next several years.
One evening, I had the opportunity to meet his new "wife" when he and I met to sign the papers for the sale of our house. I can't say I was happy about this or in the slightest way comfortable, but I had worked so hard to forgive them both that I was able to be pleasant and conversational. I wasn't filled with rage, nor was I biting my tongue to avoid rude remarks. I was painfully sad, but even in that moment, I was forgiving them.
Toward the end of our meeting, my ex-husband left the room and "she" and I were alone. As I began to talk, she actually started to cry. As she dabbed her eyes with a tissue, she told me how surprised she was that I could treat her so charitably after all that had happened. She said she was truly touched by my friendliness. She cried! How many tears I, myself, had cried over the two of them, but in the end, forgiving them was what healed me, and God had given me the grace to forgive this terribly unjust hurt. I am so grateful for that and for all the other ways He has helped me heal.
"Forgiveness" is a powerful word and one such that in the height of anger, many people choke on it. Why? Because the crime deserves a punishment! Well, yes, but primarily because forgiveness is hard. We don't want to let the offender off the hook! We want justice! Make them pay!! Forgiveness doesn't feel good. Making the offender pay feels good! Well, maybe only momentarily...
And there are so many people to forgive throughout the course of our lives, heck, even throughout the course of our day. There's the driver that won't let us change lanes even though he's seen the blinker blinking for two miles. There's the child who has taken a permanent ink pen to a piece of furniture. A nice piece of furniture. There's the family member who criticizes us endlessly. There's the one who stole your wallet. There are many people who have hurt us so terribly, and yes, there are many opportunities to forgive each day. But some days, we feel so beaten down, we just want justice... we just want someone to say, "I'm sorry." But no one does, and forgiveness becomes even harder.
Anger takes a physical and emotional toll. When I went through my divorce in 1993, I dropped 13 pounds in a matter of two or three weeks. I was consumed with rage over what was happening. My anger burned night and day, and it clouded my perspective and my ability to think straight. I had trouble sleeping and eating. I was filled with resentment and held tightly to these emotions as if they were precious gems. I was so wound up with anger that I couldn't see that by holding tight to unforgiveness I was only prolonging my pain. It wasn't until I learned how to forgive that I began to heal. It wasn't just my ex-husband that needed forgiveness, either. I needed to forgive his family, the other women, the friends who protected him in his infidelity, and myself, for reasons I knew of deep in my heart.
So many people hold on to the resentment day after day. We replay scenes of hurts occurring in our heads, wishing we had reacted differently. We may have hurts that occurred years ago that we are still acting out in our memories. This means our hearts are in battle each day, maybe even all day. We get no satisfaction from it whatsoever, and we expend huge amounts of energy on feeling lousy.
There are many reasons why taking the high road and relaxing our grip on our need for justice is the good thing to do, the right thing. First and most importantly is because Jesus asks us to forgive. He tells us in the gospel of Matthew that, "unless you forgive your brother from your heart" God will treat us with the same justice (cf. Matthew 18: 21 - 35). Yikes! But there are many other reasons, as well. Let's focus on one: our own physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.
A priest once asked me in confession if I loved my children and of course, I said yes. He then asked me how I could say that I "love" my children if my heart was so full of anger and resentment toward those who had hurt me in the past? How could I love when my heart was full of anger? I saw his point and I knew he was right. But recognizing it was one thing and actually curing the disease was something different. How could I forgive my offenders of the hurts they have caused? How could I let them off the hook? Why would I let them off the hook?
The answers are simple, but they take our resolve and God's grace. We must resolve to forgive which means we need to set aside our pride and our desire for justice. We need to let go of the "rights' and "wrongs", the "deserves" and "don't deserves" and think of Christ with the little children on his knee and all around Him saying, "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 18: 3). Wow. That's powerful. Becoming childlike certainly means forgiving.
Then, we must acknowledge there will be times when we don't want to forgive. That's when God's grace takes over. God will fill in what we are lacking. He loves to do this for us, He waits for the opportunity to help. We simply need to give Him the authority to take over our hearts.
Forgiveness is a process. It happens gradually, just like most of the healing process. It's amazing how God's grace can free us of the most terrible hurts and fill us with love so we never need to cling to the hurts again. All He needs to heal us is our open hearts. My prayer for you is an open heart and freedom from the past.
Copyright © 2008 Lisa Duffy
|
|
| ______________________________________________________ |
Words of Wisdom
from Divorced. Catholic. Now What?
But true forgiveness is not developed and put into place in a few moments or even in a few days. Because your situation causes you to be constantly confronted with the details and bad memories every day, you need to practice forgiveness every day (PFED).
The practice begins simply by asking God to grant you the desire to forgive. It may be extremely difficult to forgive your ex-spouse, your in-laws, your own family members, the "other man/other woman," and/or any other person whom you hold captive as a prisoner in your heart, and this is why it's so important to ask God in prayer for this desire and the strength to act upon it. When you stop and remember how awesome God is, you can understand that he alone can make this desire grow within you like a tiny spark growing into a flame. Then, beginning with small and simple steps, eventually working into deeper and more sincere forgiveness, you will reach the point where you can say "all is forgiven" (p. 183).
© 2007 Lisa Duffy and Vince Frese
Available at DivorcedCatholic.com
|
|
|
