My dear friends in Christ,
So many of you have shared, either through email or survey comments, just how difficult a time you have had with your divorce. During this season of Lent, and especially because tomorrow is Good Friday, I wanted to share with you some thoughts for reflection.
When you have a few minutes to yourself and can find a quiet place, close your eyes and imagine the scene of the Last Supper. Try and place yourself at the table with Jesus and the disciples. Take a look around and see the table with all the food, the bread and wine, the candles. Watch the disciples deep in discussion. Look at Jesus sitting at the head of the table and you will see that, although He is with the ones He loves so much, His heart is full of sorrow. He knows Judas will betray Him, and soon. He knows Peter will deny Him three times. He knows that the rest of them will run away and hide in fear when He needs their support the most. Yet Jesus still treats them with love and great care. Christ understands you well because He has suffered as you have. He knows the pain you suffer because of your divorce. He knows how difficult it is for you to think or say anything good about the one(s) who has betrayed you. He knows your anger and disappointment. As the disciples go on about their discussion, Jesus meets your gaze and His eyes encourage you to be strong.
Follow Christ to the Garden of Gethsemane where he sweats blood under the weight of what is about to happen. Jesus is so distressed that he prays, "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me . . ." He knows how you feel when you are overwhelmed - the hurt, the anger, the shame - He knows. And yet, His words show us the way to courage: "Yet not as I will, but as You will " (Matthew 26:39).
Follow along as the soldiers take Jesus away and lead Him to the home of Caiaphas where a huge crowd has gathered in the courtyard and the high priests question Him. He is antagonized, insulted, belittled, and in the end, they beat Him up. Look into Jesus' eyes as He stands there before His accusers and you will see that He understands how difficult it has been for you to go through your court battles. He knows first-hand how lies are perpetrated, facts are twisted and how painfully unjust it is. Because He sees what you've been through and because He's experienced it Himself, let yourself draw your strength from Him as His trial continues.
Now Jesus is picking up His cross and heading toward Calvary. He is beaten and bloody - barely recognizable. He has not slept, He has not eaten, He has been flogged within an inch of His life. He has been laughed at, spit on repeatedly, beard plucked, punched in the face and stomach repeatedly, crowned with thorns, and heard the entire town of people - who just a week ago welcomed Him as their Messiah - shout angrily for his death. You watch Jesus struggle to carry His cross like a newborn lamb that can't quite stand up on its own yet. How do you feel as you watch? Do you feel your own cross weighing upon your shoulders? Christ falls again and again under the weight of his cross, and each time, he embraces the cross and tries again. He did that for you. For your ex-spouse. For your children. For all those who have hurt you so much. And He wants you to press on with Him.
And now you have arrived at the top of the hill where Jesus hangs on the cross, dying a criminal's death. You look around and see Mary, His Mother and Mary Magdelene, weeping. You look the other way and see the drunken soldiers laughing and throwing dice for His clothing. And then you look up and see Jesus. What are His eyes saying to you? What do you want to say to Him? Take some time to talk to Him about your situation and how you feel.
In the end, Christ was not concerned with showing those who had hurt Him just how wrong they were. He wasn't concerned with getting even or any form of retribution. When a divorce tears a marriage and family apart, the pain can seem unbearable, and WE WANT JUSTICE! And there will be justice, because everyone must stand before God at the end of their lives and account for every deed they have done, ourselves included. But until that time, Christ shows us the path to peace amid the horrible injustice . . . "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do (Luke 23: 34)."
This Good Friday, take time to be with Jesus as He suffers the greatest injustice of all time. Stay with Him, comfort Him, and tell Him His death was not in vain, for you will draw your courage from Him and love the ones who persecute you. Unite your suffering to His. And I pray that one day, you will hear Jesus say to you, "From this day forward, you will be with me in paradise (Luke 23: 43)."
