1. Reserve some knowledge that will be private among parents.
2. Reserve some feelings that will be private among parents: unresolved negative feelings toward certain family members, co-workers and others.
3. Reserve some topics that will be private among parents: sexual issues, unhealed personal family history, financial, family status.
4. Reserve some time to be private among parents. Get a lock on your bedroom door. Children should knock before entering.
5. Verbally acknowledge the "oneness" of your relationship in front of others. Greet your spouse with a hug, allow the children to "catch" you hugging, hold hands, sit together when watching TV.
7. Allow children to see signs of caring: giving gifts, flowers, serving each other or doing chores for each other.
8. Go on dates at least twice a month. Dress up and model proper dating habits and good manners.
9. Support your spouse when they discipline the children. Be sure to confer privately if you do not agree.
10. Support your spouse's parenting policies when they are absent. Support the rules that have already been set and if rules should be changed, both parents should discuss the changes together and privately. If a child asks you for something, see to it that the child has not already asked the other parent first.
11. Show praise and appreciation for your spouse in front of the children.
12. Encourage your spouse in front of the children. Focus on praising character qualities of spouse apart from what they do.
Project: Ask your spouse to honestly share with you, ways in which you have not prioritized your marriage and specifically, ways in which you have chosen the children over your spouse. Ask forgiveness for this wrong. You might need to talk to the children, explaining to them how you have been wrong and how you intend to correct the situation.
The well-being of your marriage and your relationship with your children will be strengthened as you prioritize the intimacy in marriage.
