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Heard at a meeting
Favorite sayings:
Don't React How Important Is It When In Doubt Don't Let Go Let God Think Easy Does It No Is A Complete Sentence Feel Good About Saying No Listen And Learn Fake It Till You Make It
Recovery isn't winning, it's not playing.
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Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place.
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror.
"Hey Doc, it hurts when I do this!" - "Well, don't do that!!"
* * * What's a slip in Al-Anon?" A spouse has a compassionate thought for the alcoholic. |
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Dear Al-Anon or Alateen Member,
Welcome to the District 14 Al-Anon/Alateen Monthly Newsletter. This newsletter is created and distributed by Al-Anon members. Any member of Al-Anon or Alateen is welcome to contribute to this newsletter. |
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Recovery In Our Own Words
A share from a member:
Detachment with Love
As I'm early in my recovery process, detachment with love is a challenge. Detaching is not a huge challenge; it's the love part that I have trouble managing. How can I lovingly detach when the alcoholic in my life does things that affect so many in our family? Plus, other family members who haven't found recovery are often more of a challenge for me - phone calls that start positively and eventually migrate to, "How is his drinking? Is he better? What should we do?" My detachment from all of them and their insane behavior has come through meditation and creating strategies in advance - like the escape plan for verbal or physical abuse. I proactively notice all the symptoms that create situations where I need to detach: when the alcoholic starts casual conversations with "poor me" phrases - those spiral into irrational, irrelevant arguments; when the alcoholic says he's staying after work to meet friends, he'll certainly come home a mess; his mother or father calling me during the day which means they want to discuss his drinking or worse - visiting soon!
Now, I always have a Plan B. Those "poor me" conversations are my trigger to get up and busy myself with dishes or something else and not reply. I listen, but I don't comment. The pity party burns itself out very quickly when it doesn't have someone else to play with! When he's meeting friends, I make plans for me and my son to go shopping or have dinner with friends. We're not here when he returns in whatever state. We don't have to dine with him or listen to drunken stories. Caller ID is a Godsend for the in-law calls. I don't even pick up. If they leave a message asking for a call back, I tell my husband they called. Now, he usually calls them back knowing that I have removed myself from the middle of their relationship. If I do get in a conversation and it moves to a trigger topic, I make an excuse to get off the phone. I need to protect my own mental health and the tiny amount of guilt I have for being so abrupt is a small price to pay for protecting my sanity.
That's where the with love part works for me. The love is for me! I detach from them with love for myself. Eventually, I will recover enough to detach with love for them, but for now it's all about me! Selfish? Maybe. Serene? You bet!
Anonymous
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District 14 and Beyond News
 The District 14 Monthly Meeting is held the 1st Wednesday of each month from 7:30 -9:00 in the Lesher Auditorium at the John Muir Medical Center, Concord Campus, 2540 East Street, Concord. Preceded by Concept discussion at 7:00 pm. ALL are welcome. 
The July 4, 2012 District 14 Meeting has been cancelled due to the holiday. The next meeting will be Wednedsay, August 1st, 2012. 
Items of Interest from June 6, 2012 District 14 Meeting  A Question for You. We want your opinions on the Al-Anon/Alateen Convention (that's the fun one with speakers and workshops, talent shows, and fellowship, the most recent one being at Squaw Valley). Do you attend? Why or why not? What could we do to make it more likely that you would attend? EMAIL YOUR ANSWER to Carla G, our District Rep.
 Writing Workshop. We have a leader experienced in helping Al-Anon members write for the Forum and other Al-Anon publications (including our own newsletter!). This workshop is in the planning stages, so stay tuned and keep pen and paper at hand!
- PLEASE NOTE: The 7:00 p.m. Thursday night Al-Anon Meeting in Martinez has been closed and had been deleted from our online schedule.
- Need for Groups to Host November and December 2012 Monthly Speaker Meetings. All of 2013 is also open. Remember if you have a small group, you can consider hosting with another group. Written guidelines are available with exact instructions of how to be a host group. Please contact Sandy H. at 925-642-9909 to volunteer your group or get more information.
- New Reimbursement Form for District Expenses now available on the website or here.
- Literature Depot Reminder for LIterature Orders: Please pick up orders from the Literature Depot within a couple of days of the order being ready.
- NCWSA has new P.O. Box for donations. The new address is: NCWSA Treasurer, P.O. Box 728, Vacaville, CA 95696-0728. Donation form A-25 is available on the NCWSA website.
 Hotline Volunteers. Al-Anon Hotline still has gaps in the schedule that need to be filled. You can volunteer for any day, any period of time. Call Paula M. at 925-513-1770.
 Day In Al-Anon 2013 Planning Meeting June 10, 2012 - New DIA date is February 2, 2013 at Hope Center
- Call for Coordinators/Trusted Servants to create next year's DIA. Meeting June 10, 2012 at 1:00 p.m. at Shaw Environmental & Infrastructure, Inc., 4005 Port Chicago Hwy (2nd Floor), Concord CA 94520. Coordinators needed: Co-Chair (learn the ropes to become the Chair for 2014), See Flyer for other positions. Contact DIA Coordinator John H. 505-259-1232
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Service Corner
Check District 14 News section. The Alateen Coordinator position is still open. Please consider this vital service to the district. Three-year positions went into effect January 1st.
A member shares on service:
My Recovery is Accelerated Through Service
By John H., Antioch, CA
Service is a very important element in my recovery in two primary ways. Service helps me maintain humility, and helps me because it sustains the Al Anon program and I need the Al Anon program.
For me the simplest and easiest form of service now that I have been an Al Anon member for a while is participation. Sometimes expressed as "suit up and show up" just being there and filling a chair in a group meeting makes a difference. It sustains the group and it provides me with both the opportunity to receive the experience, strength, and hope of others, and to share my own. Once I'm there it is easy to give service by helping with set-up, clean-up, and by being there for others. Since my home group is small, and I want to sustain it, I started volunteering as chairperson every few weeks. Since then I have served as secretary and am now the Group Representative.
What I have found in giving service and taking on specific service positions at the group level and the district level is that I continue to grow in my knowledge and understanding of the Al Anon program, in my understanding and acceptance of myself, recognizing my defects, and more importantly recognizing and acknowledging my assets. Additionally service at the district level has greatly expanded my Al Anon family circle.
One of the best parts of service for me is knowing that I don't serve alone and there is help in the form of guidelines for various positions from the district and in the Al Anon/Alateen Service Manual. Those who have served before me have freely shared their experience, and I have found that many of my own life experiences are relevant to my succeeding in service as well.
The only requirement for service is willingness and the desire to help. The only expectation is that I do my best. The return on my investment is far greater than my expenditure. I receive expansion of my horizons, new perspectives and new options for solutions to my problems, a better understanding of my limitations and my strengths, new opportunities, new friends, and the genuine accepting and unconditional love of our Al Anon family.
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Bienvenidos a Al-Anon y Alateen
Sexto Paso
"Estuvimos enteramente dispuestos a que Dios eliminase todos estos defectos de car�cter."
mary dice:
hola�� soy una persona con mucha necesidad de ayuda,platicando co personas me han sugerido a un grupo de Al-Anon,pues vivo con mi esposo que fue alcoholico,y tengo tambien un hilo con el que tenemos muchos problemas por lo mismo,yo por lo que he leido se que este es el camino, pero la comunidad donde vivo no contamos con estos grupos de ayuda,y me urge!!!contactarme con ustedes,tengo treinta a�os consultando al psiquiatra pero ya estoy cansada.Por favor diganme como iniciar o que leer por internet. ���gracias!!!
Como localizar una reunion Esta serie de podcasts comenta la forma en que los Doce Pasos de Al-Anon les han ayudado a las personas a enfrentar exitosamente una variedad de retos asociados con la enfermedad familiar del alcoholismo El tema del podcast de hoy es: el Sexto Paso. Para la compra de Literatura Aprobada por la Conferencia (LAC) y materiales de servicio autorizados por la Oficina de Servicio Mundial
Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., World Service Office for Al-Anon and Alateen Boletin Informativo, Oficina Intergrupal Hispana Del Sur De Calfornia  Bienvenido al sitio web de Al-anon Familia Grupos para el Distrito 14 del norte de California del Servicio Mundial de la zona. Este sitio es creado y operado por el Distrito 14 miembros de Al-anon. Distrito 14 de l�mites se puede definir mejor el lugar de las reuniones que figuran en nuestra Reuniones Lista, y por lo general abarca las comunidades del condado de oriental y central Contra Costa. El sitio web está organizado en torno a los Tres Legados de Al-Anon
Al-Anon se enfrenta al alcoholismo 2012 |
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Institutions Corner
ATTENTION GRs: Please replace the cover on the PINK Al- Anon Institutions Donation Can for your group. The new cover has the correct information for donations. Obtain the new cover at the next District Meeting or call Mary A. at 925-914-9101. The 41st Annual Hospitals and Institutions Conference of AA with Al-Anon and Spanish speaking participating will be held May 18-20, 2012 in Redding CA. Flyer |
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Alateen Corner
To become a sponsor: Contact Alt. Alateen Coordinator Marilyn G. at 925-759-1452. Applications are also available to become an Alateen Sponsor through Kristine B., District 14 Alateen Safety Coordinator at 925-407-6053.NEWS: Twenty-seven Alateen sponsors were re-certified, plus three new sponsors and two more in process. A new Alateen group will be forming at St. Bonadventure.
 30th Annual Growing Together Weekend May 18 - 20, 21012 at Westminster Woods was absolutely fabulous. 175 attended. The "Jelly Roll" ceremony for teens transitioning into Alateen was the largest in Alateen history. 
NoCAC's First Bash: Come Camping with the Cool Kids! When: June 22-24, 2012 Where: Del Valle Campgrounds, Livermore, CA Registration: $20 per person for the weekend Contact: Jeff G., NoCAC Sponsor at 925-922-8750 or Cat B. NoCAC Chair Flyer
Save the Date: 6th Annual NCSWA Sponsors WeekendWhen: September 14-16, 2012 Where: Westminster Woods |
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Upcoming Events
District 14 Speaker Meeting - June 23, 2012 ~ 6:30 p.m.  Guest Speakers: Jake M. (AA) from Berkeley, George P. (AA) from Walnut Creek, Lisa M. (Al-Anon) from San Ramon, and Read P (Al-Anon) from San Ramon Topic: Moms and Sons (A MUST FOR ALL PARENTS OF ALCOHOLICS!) What: Refreshments, Birthday Chips, Donation Drawing, Literature, Tape Library, Meeting recorded. Hosted By: 8 a.m. Saturday Sunrise AFG, Concord Where: Walnut Creek Kaiser 1515 Newell Ave. Medical Office Bldg., Oak Room, 3rd Floor Directions and Flyer For Complete Listing of Events and Flyers: NCWSA Events
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Reflections from the Forum
Past Reflections
Prescription for when you're feeling down: Take 2 assets and call your sponsor in the morning. July 1980, Clarence C., La Ronge, Sask., Canada
Al-Anon's monthly magazine, The Forum, contains many personal stories of inspiration. Click on this link to subscribe to receive your own monthly "Meeting in Your Pocket." Only $11.00 a year.
Current Forum articles:
Getting off the emotional roller coaster
Although I grew up in an alcoholic home, I truly believed that alcoholism would not be an issue in my life if there were no active alcoholic drinking. I did not realize how much living with the disease of alcoholism as a child would affect my relationships with my children and husband.
I found Al-Anon when I finally realized I was raising my children on the same insane emotional roller coaster that I had survived. I was desperate for a new way to live.
My decision to get off the train
When I was four or five, my mother put me on a train, the kind that takes little kids on a spin around the grocery store parking lot. Behind the wheel of the train was a colorfully dressed clown, complete with makeup and red-orange wig. Because there were no seats left and I was the last to board, my mother directed me to get in the only seat left-the one next to the clown.
I was terrified and didn't want to sit there, despite my mother's and the clown's attempts to convince me that this was, in fact, the very best seat. They seemed to be telling me that I was the lucky one and I should be glad. However, my problem wasn't with the seat, it was with the clown. I was terrified of that clown.
I can see the real me now
I grew up in a family where anger, violence, and alcohol were part of everyday life. I was sexually molested and a victim of incest. I learned that God hated you if you were not straight. I learned that alcoholism can and will kill. I buried my uncle, an ex-wife, and a boyfriend-all of whom I lost to this disease.
I entered into relationships with drug addicts, alcoholics, batterers, and cheaters. The entire time I would do the same things I had always done-slowly lose sight of my desires, sacrifice things that meant a lot to me, and begin to wonder who I was without them.
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Contribute to this Newsletter
A few words from your share at a recent meeting, a thought you had while reading conference approved literature, your take on one of the Steps or Traditions. Any tidbit is welcome as long as you remember that we speak Al-Anon here, leaving other therapies and programs outside. Send your contribution to the Newsletter by email with "Contribution" in the subject line.
Submissions may be edited for length and grammar and will published at the discretion of the editors when space permits. Authors will be notified of changes to their submissions.
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Archives of Past Newsletters
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Sincerely,
Co-Editors: Karen, District 14 Newsletter Coordinator
Linda W, Alternate District 14 Newsletter Coordinator
Contact the Editors: district14newsletter@yahoo.com |
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