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Heard at a meeting
Help is the seamy side of control.
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Al-Anon is a place to go if you feel you need to be in control of stuff.
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A feeling of unity is as close as an Al-Anon meeting.
Al-Anon is the place to go when you're feeling dis-eased..
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Use the power of silence.
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Our past, no matter how painful, is a huge treasure we can share with others.
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Draw a circle around your feet. That's your domain.
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Sponsoring keeps me honest. I have to walk the walk.
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Your mind is like a bad neighborhood, you should never go there alone.
* * * There's a new 12 step group for people who can't stop talking. It's called Al-anon and on and on..
* * * One old-timer jokingly spoke of Al-Anon as: "Our Ladies Of Perpetual Resentment." |
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Dear Al-Anon or Alateen Member,
Welcome to the District 14 Al-Anon/Alateen Monthly Newsletter. This newsletter is created and distributed by Al-Anon members. Any member of Al-Anon or Alateen is welcome to contribute to this newsletter. |
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Recovery In Our Own Words
 A Share from Diane:
God led me to share my experience of "pity verses love" at a recent meeting.
PITY: Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve
it.
LOVE: A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection.
When pity is partnered with guilt then I usually choose to act from an
absence of connection instead of from deep affection. This happened when I was a child. When my mom was upset or feeling down I would try to make her feel better. The only connection I remember having with my mom was when she was not feeling well. She stayed in bed a lot and I was allowed to touch her by massaging her head to relieve her migraine pain. She did not touch us as children. I pitied her and was allowed to be with her in a connecting way through helping her feel better. For me, this pity led to connection with someone I loved when nothing else allowed a point of contact. It was what I knew and what I needed to feel connection and to get relief from a sense of abandonment.
Sometimes we pity the addict in our life because intimacy and attachment are absent. Pity can become a kind of false bridge to our needed connection. This can cause us to become attracted to abusive or unavailable people due to the familiar sense of isolation and lack of connection.
I now realize that love is about having a deep attachment for someone in a way that is motivated by affection and deep caring for them. It is not about living from a place of lack but about giving from a place of caring and connection. It is a wonderful experience to give and receive love from a heart that is living from affection and affirmation verses seeking to fill an empty place inside through pity.
When pity is partnered with love a wonderful deposit can be given. Having a deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with a profoundly tender affection can make a deposit that is needed in the moment and guard the dignity of the one in need. The seen need is not always the real need.
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District 14 and Beyond News
 The District 14 Monthly Meeting is held the 1st Wednesday of each month from 7:30 -9:00 in the Lesher Auditorium at the John Muir Medical Center, Concord Campus, 2540 East Street, Concord. Preceded by Concept discussion at 7:00 pm. ALL are welcome. 
Items of Interest from February 1, 2012 District 14 Meeting - Budget for 2012
The District 14 budget for 2012 was approved. A conservative estimate on income necessitated reducing the budgets for particular line items, but this was done with care and the approval of those who met to create the budget. Monies reserved for service conferences has been moved over into the 2013 budget to allow for more people to attend to the Al-Anon/Alateen International Conference in Vancouver.
- The Literature Depot has been moved without a break in operation. Address is available when orders are placed. How Al-Anon Works (in paperback) is back-ordered.
- Speaker Meeting needs hosting groups for May through August and November and December this year. Remember, smaller groups can co-host the meeting together. Food and donation gifts are needed for the February 25th Speaker Meeting since the hosting group is a smaller group.
- Outreach Car Window Static Stick-On's saying "Does Someone's Drinking Bother You?" with Al-Anon Family Groups contact info are available. You can take them off and re-apply as you like. Ask your GR for more information.
- Newsletter: This newsletter will no longer be printed by the district due to the expense. It is recommended that groups who want to print them for members do so out of their own budgets or through volunteers. Submit new email addresses to: distict14newsletter@yahoo.com
 District Coordinator Positions: Only 2 positions left. - Institutions - taken by Mary
- Spanish Liaison OPEN
- Alateen Coordinator - OPEN Please note that our prior Alateen Coordinator is serving as Alternate Coordinator and can lend support to whoever fills this very important position
- Archives - Taken by Dan
 Hotline Needs Volunteers. Al-Anon Hotline still has gaps in the schedule that need to be filled. You can volunteer for any day, any period of time. Call Paula M. at 925-513-1770.
- Northern CA Council of AA Annual Spring Conference with Al-Anon participation. Openings for service at the Al-Anon literature to be available at this conference. It will take place March 16-18, 2012 at the San Ramon Marriott. Volunteers still needed. Contact DR Carla G. Flyer.
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Service Corner
A Service Share from Beth J. - On Being a Group Rep (GR)
I learned a lot of discipline and grace through my sponsor and the group I represented. I loved learning more about Al-Anon history at Assemblies. I met new people and felt a new sense of purpose. I felt important and had a sense of recovery from giving it away and doing service, especially when I was distracted by unhealthy relationships. I had opportunities to do new kinds of service. I grew from being available. I developed new perspectives about what was really important. I learned I wasn't alone. Being a GR got me more involved in the program and in a community focused on recovery. In turn, I developed new confidence, new hobbies that I thought were gone forever. I feel younger, happier, stronger because of service.
Check District 14 News section for positions that are still open. Please consider service to the district. Three-year positions went into effect January 1st.
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Bienvenidos a Al-Anon y Alateen
Aniversario AL-ANON HIJOS ADULTOS 18 DE FEBRERO.
Hola queridos companeros, les mando el volante del aniversario en pittsburg CA (ALEGRIA DE VIVIR) de nuevo ya q me lo estan pidiendo ya q parece q no les llego la informacion a muchas personas. solo me queda invitarlos de nuevo a nuestro noveno aniversario y dejarles saver q estamos contentisimos de tener las puertas aviretas ya q personas como tu yo pueden beneficiarse de el banquete espiritaul q tendremos, esto sin contar con dinamicas y muchas otras sorpresas mas. nuestro objetivo principal es informal aquel q todavia sufre por el beber de alguien y no se ha dado cuenta de lo maravilloso de la vida. por eso nos concentramos en hacer dos volantes uno para ya los mienbros y otro para informar . para mas preguntas cumunicate con tu servidoras Araceli y Ana (925) 206-7069 o si necesitas de un grupo en tu area comunicate a la integrupal HISPANA del noreste de la bahia al (925) 432-1821 los lunes y viernes de 12 del mediodia a 3 de la tarde. recuerda el simple echo de pasar este mensaje a tus contactos ya es servir. tu poder superior esta contigo.
 Bienvenido al sitio web de Al-anon Familia Grupos para el Distrito 14 del norte de California del Servicio Mundial de la zona. Este sitio es creado y operado por el Distrito 14 miembros de Al-anon. Distrito 14 de límites se puede definir mejor el lugar de las reuniones que figuran en nuestra Reuniones Lista, y por lo general abarca las comunidades del condado de oriental y central Contra Costa. El sitio web está organizado en torno a los Tres Legados de Al-Anon
Al-Anon se enfrenta al alcoholismo 2011 |
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Institutions Corner
 Our new Institutions Coodinator has oodles of experience in providing Al-Anon service in this important area. We look forward to her leadership. |
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Alateen Corner
Alateen Sponsors needed:
Please see District 14 Announcement Section above about critical need for sponsors for our youngest children. Plus the need for parents to support the Al-Anon meetings that have simultaneous Alateen meetings. The Alateen program at Juvenile Hall is expanding. BUT...we need Alateen sponsors in order for this to happen. Let's not let our children most in need down. For Questions: Contact Alt. Coordinatior Marilyn G at 925-759-1452. Applications are available to become an Alateen Sponsor through Kristine P, District 14 Alateen Safety Coordinator at 925-407-6053.
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Upcoming Events
From Carla G.: Good news!! District 14 will have the honor and privilege of hosting our May Assembly 2012 at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Concord. This is wonderful news for us as it allows us to welcome all of Northern California to our district. There will be terrific service opportunities for all members of our groups.
Typically the Assembly is held from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. More details will become available soon. Please be thinking about the love gifts that we would like to make to and share with the attendees at the Assembly. Anyone interested in stepping up to coordinate this effort?
Please give me a call or drop me a note if you have any thoughts or ideas. You can reach Carla G. at sstop16@att.net or call 925-586-8021.
District 14 Speaker Meeting - February 25, 2012 ~ 6:30 p.m.  Guest Speakers: Mark J. (AA) from Brentwood and Anne M. (Al-Anon) from Brentwood Topic: Speaker What: Refreshments, Birthday Chips, Donation Drawing, Literature, Tape Library, Meeting recorded. Hosted By: Friday 8 pm Brentwood Where: Walnut Creek Kaiser 1515 Newell Ave. Medical Office Bldg., Oak Room, 3rd Floor Flyer For Complete Listing of Events and Flyers: NCWSA Events
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Reflections from the Forum
Past Reflections
Before Al-Anon, we had a lot of beef stew at our house. I did the beefing and my spouse did the stewing. Sept. 1978, Eledia S., Columbia, Missouri
Al-Anon's monthly magazine, The Forum, contains many personal stories of inspiration. Click on this link to subscribe to receive your own monthly "Meeting in Your Pocket." Only $11.00 a year.
Current Forum articles:
I put myself at the top of my 'shame list'
Until I came into the Al-Anon program about six years ago, I was ashamed of my alcoholic family-my father, brothers, uncles, and aunts. I blamed them for their behavior. I'll never forget when I brought a guy I liked to my house and he said, "Are you sure you weren't adopted?" He was serious. We never went out again.
When I was 16 years old, I ran away from home and never went back...
"I love you" were the hardest words-making amends to my dad
The hardest amends I have ever done was to my dad. My parents divorced when I was one year old. I only saw him on weekends or summers. He really wasn't around all that much. He lived with my grandparents who were more or less the caregivers.
Until I turned 20, I never once saw my dad sober and clean a day in my life...
I thought only another man would understand
It may not be the case in your meeting but in my meeting, the member count is typically ten women for every man. It is said that every alcoholic affects the lives of at least twenty people but, certainly, those twenty people can't all be women. So why aren't there more men in Al-Anon? Some evenings, I'm the only man in the room.
When I first came to Al-Anon more than seven years ago, I sat in my car wondering if I was really going to do this...
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Contribute to this Newsletter
A few words from your share at a recent meeting, a thought you had while reading conference approved literature, your take on one of the Steps or Traditions. Any tidbit is welcome as long as you remember that we speak Al-Anon here, leaving other therapies and programs outside. Send your contribution to the Newsletter by email with "Contribution" in the subject line.
Submissions may be edited for length and grammar and will published at the discretion of the editors when space permits. Authors will be notified of changes to their submissions.
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Archives of Past Newsletters
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Sincerely,
Co-Editors: Karen, District 14 Newsletter Coordinator
Linda W, Alternate District 14 Newsletter Coordinator
Contact the Editors: district14newsletter@yahoo.com |
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