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Heard around town
When I need God with skin...I go to a meeting.
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Let go and let God...in.
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When I say "no" to something, I am saying "yes" to something else.
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Advice to alcoholics: Go to meetings and don't DRINK in between. Advice to Al-Anon'ers: Go to meetings and don't THINK in between.
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There's a lot of value in restraint of pen and tongue.
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Where's the growth if I do it over and over.
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If you don't deal with your own issues, they'll deal with you.
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Today can be the "someday" I've always wanted.
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An elderly man is stopped by the police around 1 a. m. and is asked where he
is going at this time of night.
The man replies, "I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body."
The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"
The man replies, "That would be my wife."
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Dear Al-Anon or Alateen Member,
Welcome to the District 14 Al-Anon/Alateen Monthly Newsletter. This newsletter is created and distributed by Al-Anon members. Any member of Al-Anon or Alateen is welcome to contribute to this newsletter. |
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Recovery In Our Own Words
From Our Newsletter Co-Editor: A great big "Thank You" to those members who shared their first experiences with the Al-Anon program. I have at different times been privileged to lead a Newcomers' meeting. One of the things most seemed curious about was sponsorship. For me this was the first commitment I made to my own recovery. I arrived not knowing how much of me I had lost. I didn't believe in myself. I was so focused on the people in my life whose behavior brought me first to therapy then to Al-Anon. Looking back now I see that my Higher Power directed me to ask someone to sponsor me. The asking for help was definitely the beginning of my recovery.
I'm sure many of you have great stories to share about your first experience with sponsorship. I'd love to hear about them. Please send them to:
district14newsletter@yahoo.com Linda W
A share from Gail M. on her first experience in Al-Anon:
My family counselor told me about Al Anon. It took me over four years to take her advice and attend my first meeting. When I finally reached my bottom, I drove through a torrential rain storm and went to the wrong room when I arrived. No one was there. Then a stranger stepped out of a room down the hall and asked if I was looking for Al Anon.
I walked into a room of about 50 people who had also driven through that same storm... I was amazed, and terrified. I slunk into a seat in the back and listened to a perfect stranger, and a man to boot, describe how "I" felt inside. All I could do was cry and hope no one said anything to me. They didn't, but I felt safe and understood.
I really don't know what I expected, other than that I would be told to leave my qualifier... something I didn't want to do...the truth is that on that Saturday morning I felt as if I had no where else to turn. So I turned to the place I had been told could help me. Boy, has it helped me!
A share from Karen Sc. on her first experience in Al-Anon:
I got to Al-Anon after my youngest son got into rehab. Every week he would ask me if I had gone to an Al-Anon meeting. Sooooooooo, I finally went so I could tell him I'd gone to one! I saw a friend there which made me feel a little better...and made her a little scared that I would destroy her anonymity!! That was about 7 years ago. It felt like "coming home" for me, and my friend is still anonymous! I remember thinking that the whole world should be taught the steps and traditions, because they are real guides on how to live a happy and serene life.
My youngest son is still sober and is manager of a clean and sober house. We always talk "program" whenever we're together. My oldest son has been to rehab twice and still uses today. He has ADHD and is Bi-polar and MJ makes him feel "normal". I continue to pray for him and know that someday he'll "get it"! But it may not happen in my lifetime and I have serenity in my life in spite of that! I am a "lifer" when it comes to AlAnon and the life I have learned to live, and the friends I have met in the program!
I'm not sure what I expected when I came to AlAnon, but I have to say that the life I have now is more than I ever dreamed it would be! And I give AlAnon all the credit for that!
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Special Report from Half Day in Al-Anon
 Thanks to a very dedicated planning committee (Lois O., Kathy M., Cathy B. and Liz R.) and the participation of nearly 60 Al-Anon members, a very successful inaugural Half-Day in Al-Anon event took place on Saturday, September 10th. Tapes of the Sponsorship workshop and the women's Sex and Intimacy Workshop will be available at the monthly Speaker meetings for a minimal fee. It was not possible to tape the men's Sex and Intimacy workshop--but find someone who attended and get the low-down! Here are some highlights from the Sponsorship workshop led by two gracious sponsor/sponsee pairs (Tom and Gene and Sophia and Lois). - One view of sponsoring is that a sponsor provides a road map (using the Steps) to help the sponsee reach a goal of spiritual transformation.
- A sponsor, living the Steps, can also be seen as an advocate for their sponsee. A sponsor can see the sponsee in his/her wholeness.
- Sponsors use many resources such as Paths to Recovery, the Blueprint for Progress (4th Step) or appropriate sections from the Big Book of AA. Often they use what has worked for them with their own sponsor.
- Everyone who spoke focused on sponsoring as a "process" that has no specific time limits but does require both sponsor and sponsee to show up on a regular (usually weekly) basis and be willing to participate.
- Sponsorship is about listening, about holding a space open for the often painful but immensely rewarding change that takes place.
- A relationship with a sponsor is sometimes the first trusting, open relationship many in Al-Anon have ever experienced and can be the model for future healthy relationships. A reminder that we are as sick as our secrets.
- The Steps are always there to help us let things unfold.
- Sponsors can help us discover what instincts are powering our resentments and what character defects then emerge from those instincts.
- Sponsors can help us accept and get rid of resistance to "what is," and help us remove obstacles to our relationship with our HP.
- Sponsors need to be comfortable with limits and to know when to recommend professional help for their sponsees.
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District 14 and Beyond News
 Items of Interest from September 7, 2011 District 14 Meeting - Public Outreach: Want to spread the word? Ask your GR about obtaining a FREE window sticker for you car saying, "Does someone's drinking bother you? Al-Anon Family Groups can help," and containing the World Service Office number and website. It can easily be removed and reapplied depending on your need for anonymity in different settings.
- Need English speaking coordinator for the 32nd Annual Al-Anon/Alateen Hispanic Convention. If you are available to coordinate this wonderful event please contact Martha G. or Ruth S. at 650-766-7121. A complimentary meeting room has been reserved for English speaking members.
- New meeting schedules are available. Ask your GR.
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Service Corner
Vicki H., Past Delegate and current Trustee shared her experience with service at our September District 14 meeting.
Vicki start by holding several service positions in her home group. She even survived having the funds in her care as group Treasurer stolen--everyone understood and pitched in to replace them. Returning from a vacation, she found she had been appointed GR for the group. When difficulties arose around the use of AA literature at the meeting, she sought support and advice about her role. She learned that healthy meetings that follow the traditions will survive any contention.
She attended her first Assembly as a GR, having the privilege of watching her own mother chair that event. She recalled being "in awe" and learned that she didn't have to know more than anybody else to fully participate and have her voice heard. Then she accepted an alternate coordinator position, planning conventions. She warned all of us that accepting an alternate position means being ready to step up to the coordinator position if needed, as she had to only 2 weeks later. Then she became DR for her district and learned how to listen and to step into the role of a facilitator. In her next position as Area Chair she instituted the "district hollers" and other cheers. Everyone burst into a loud rendition of the "Good Job" cheer at this point!
Moving on to the World Service Office as a Delegate brought her one step closer to the world-wide fellowship. She said, "We hurt locally, but we can reach world wide." Now, as a Trustee serving her 2nd term, she helps see that Al-Anon decisions and policies are consistent with the traditions and legal. Her job involves world-wide travel.
At the beginning, Vicki says she didn't know how to have any kind of a relationship. Now she can run into lifelong friends in any state in the country. She reminded us that doing service is how we get the word out instead of peering through the blinds, waiting for someone we love to come home drunk.
Remember Area positions and our own District positions are up for election this October and include: District Rep and Alternate (only positions where you must have served as a GR prior), Treasurer, Secretary, and coordinators for Literature Depot, Hospitals & Institutions, Newsletter, Lending Library, Public Outreach, Meeting List, Speaker Meeting, Alateen Safety, Alateen, Telephone Hotline, Spanish Liaison, Website, Day-in-Al-Anon. (There are a few additional guidelines for Alateen positions.) Why should you serve...because it keeps you coming back and because you'd be good at it!
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Bienvenidos a Al-Anon y Alateen 
XXXII Convencion Hispana Al-Anon/Alateen del Estado de California. Fuente de fortaleza y esperanza
(Fountain of fortitude and hope)
Lugar: En el Hotel Westin, San Francisco Airport
Direccion: 1 Old Bayshore Highway, Millbrae, CA 95030 Dia: Viernes 18, sabado 19, domingo 20 de noviembre del 2011 (November 18th, 19th, and 20th, 2011) Para hacer reservaciones peuden hacerto por medio de este link directo a la pagina del Hotel que se a criado solo para la Convencion, o llamar al 1-888-627-8404 o (directo) 650-692-3500 clave Al-Anon (Cost: $100.72/night + $5 parking) Registro Al-Anon 20.00, Alateen 10.00 para mas informacion peudes comunicarte con servidoras en publicidad. Araceli Vasquez cordinadora (925) 206-7069 o convencionestatal32@yahoo.comRegistros: Carmen Cervantes (510) 499-1518 o (510) 633-7942 y Maria Bunuelos (510) 520-0897. Banquete: Maria Lopez (510) 377-3714, costo $50.00. Attention English speakers: English speaking Al-Anon meetings will be included. Registration $20. Bienvenido al sitio web de Al-anon Familia Grupos para el Distrito 14. Información para el recién llegado a Al-Anon Preguntas de los individuos que buscan información sobre la recuperaciónAl-Anon se enfrenta al alcoholismo 2011 |
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Institutions Corner
 From Yvonne de G on serving in institutions: Two months ago Yvonne shared part of her story about asking Jenny, an Alateen, to help her in doing Al-Anon service in institutions. Here is the continuation of that story: When I texted Jenny the day before our presentation, she was exited and double checked with me about her colors and clothing. I picked her up the next day at BART and off we went. When I asked her if she was scared or nervous, she smiled and shook her head, "No, just excited and happy that I get to do this so I get to focus on something different, because it has been a long and difficult week." Our journey inside the prison was smooth as she cleared the metal detectors and all the right paperwork was in the place. We set up in a large classroom. I brought newcomer packs and other material for the inmates concerning Al-Anon & Alateen. Jenny and I shared our stories and how Al-anon and Alateen work and then opened it up to questions The guys were very respectful and curious. Now remember, these guys did not know about Al-anon/Alateen and were getting information to use in their Prison Outreach Program( P.O.P ) working with teenaged delinquents. The Staff member that runs that program discovered that most off their participants come from homes affected by alcoholism. The teens come with the parents to the prison to be talked to by the lifers. One off the questions they asked was, "So how do you get the teens to talk?" I answered, "Now that's the million dollar question, there is no exact answer except that we share our experience strength and hope." Jenny was asked, "What advice do you give your friends when they talk to you about their problems?" She answered, "We don't give advice. If it is something I have experienced I will share what worked for me." Slowly they wanted to know more and more about Al-Anon. As I kept sharing from experience, they started sharing their stories with me. Amazing how that works! On our way home I asked Jenny "How did you like it?" She said, "Just like a meeting...the only difference is they all wear the same clothes!" When she brought her experience back to her Spanish home group, five more volunterrs signed up to go and support our 1st Spanish Al-Anon Meeting in Soledad. Yeah, Jenny! For further information on the inmate correspondence service, please contact: Words from the Inside: On Step One: My biggest issue was denial. It's already costed me 27 years of my life. Manny from Solano
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Alateen Corner
Alateen Sponsors needed:
More schools in our area have invited us to establish Alateen meetings for their students. BUT...we need Alateen sponsors in order for this to happen. Let's not let our children down. To become an Alateen sponsor in District 14, contact Marilyn G at 925-759-1452 or consider attending the 5th Annual Sponsors Weekend (see following announcement).
 5th Annual NCWSA Sponsors Weekend
When: September 16-18, 2011 Guest Speakers: Patty G., Pleasanton, Chris M., Soquel,David B., Salinas, and Tom B., Denver Topic: Rejuvenate and Recommit Where: Westminster Woods, Occidental CA For More Information: Carla G. at 925-586-8021 Flyer NoCAC's 2nd Fundraiser Flyer When: October 1, 11 am - ? pm
Where: Ygnacio Valley Presbyterian church
2140 Minert Rd, Concord
What: Come join us for a fall carnival with games, face painting, workshops, potluck and so much more!
Reminders: Starts at 11 a.m , remember to bring your favorite lunch dish!
Suggested donation: Al-Anon - $7 Alateen $ 5
For more information, contact: Alicia H. (Chair) nocacchair@ncwsa.org
Melanie F. (Sponsor) (408) 309-3623
Northern California Alateen Convention (NoCAC)
When: November 11-13, 2011 Where: Holiday Inn 5090 E. Clinton Way, Fresno Questions: Melanie F. (408) 309-3623 flyer Registration Packet
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Upcoming Events
2012 Day in Al-Anon Planning Meeting When: Sunday, September 18, 2011 1:00 pm Where: Dan's home (call for directions) What: Second planning meeting for 2012 Day in Al-Anon. At the first meeting in July, Dan reports that we have some very good local AA and Al-Anon speakers with interesting stories in mind and that we now have a donation drawing coordinator (a separate coordinator position may be established for the silent auction). Job descriptions for other positions will be available at the September meeting and the inclusion of "love gifts" will be discussed. There is a special need for a volunteer for the Co-Chair position, who will be learning the ropes this year and then becoming the DIA Chair for 2013. For More Information: Contact DIA Chair Dan at 925-284-5168. District 14 Speaker Meeting ~ September 24, 2011 ~ 6:30 p.m.  Guest Speakers: Dave W. (AA) from Concord and Charlie W., (Al-Anon) from Lafayette Topic: Open topic What: Refreshments, Birthday Chips, Donation Drawing, Literature, Tape Library, Meeting recorded. Hosted By: Monday night Parents 7:30 pm Walnut Creek Where: Walnut Creek Kaiser 1515 Newell Ave. Medical Office Bldg., Oak Room, 3rd Floor Flyer 
Coming October 22nd! Celebrating 9 years of our District 14 Speaker Meeting Guest Speaker: Bob L. (Al-Anon) from Sun City CA PLUS: Bob L. offers a workshop that morning: The Traditions: "In Relationships" Where: Hillcrest Congregational Church 404 Gregory Lane, Pleasant Hill Time: 9 am to noon (Doors open at 8:30 a.m.) Suggested Registration at the door: $5.00 "In Al-Anon we learn how to live in a variety of relationships without losing ourselves or forcing our ideas on others." Paths to Recovery, p. 134 NCWSA Assembly ~ October 7-9, 2011 Where: The Village at Squaw Valley Registration: Cut-off date has passed. Contact Yvonne de G for information about attending. Events in Other Districts District 16 Speaker Meeting (2nd Saturday of every month) For More Information: District 16 Website For Complete Listing of Events and Flyers: NCWSA Events
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Reflections from the Forum
Past Reflections
Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like spinning your wheels. April 1989 New York
Al-Anon's monthly magazine, The Forum, contains many personal stories of inspiration. Click on this link to subscribe to receive your own monthly "Meeting in Your Pocket." Only $11.00 a year.
Current Forum articles:
I learned to love my alcoholic son...unconditionally.
I grew up in an alcoholic family, where the words "I love you" were never spoken. There were never any outward signs of affection, such as hugging. I loved my family deeply, but the love I knew was unhealthy: I took care of them and felt resentful afterwards for the emptiness I felt inside.
I looked for love in all the wrong places
Growing up in an alcoholic home, I always felt I had to be good enough-that I had to earn my parents love. Every time my alcoholic stepfather would go into a rage, it would be my fault. My mother, severely affected by the disease of alcoholism, would always defend him and tell me to try and do better. I thought they would love me if I were perfect.
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Contribute to this Newsletter
A few words from your share at a recent meeting, a thought you had while reading conference approved literature, your take on one of the Steps or Traditions. Any tidbit is welcome as long as you remember that we speak Al-Anon here, leaving other therapies and programs outside. Send your contribution to the Newsletter by email with "Contribution" in the subject line.
Submissions may be edited for length and grammar and will published at the discretion of the editors when space permits. Authors will be notified of changes to their submissions.
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Archives of Past Newsletters
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Sincerely,
Co-Editors: Karen, District 14 Newsletter Coordinator
Linda W, Alternate District 14 Newsletter Coordinator
Contact the Editors: district14newsletter@yahoo.com |
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